Not using someone’s shortened name

[ChilliPB]

My DH’s name is one that had a well known/obvious shortened version - similar to Nick for Nicholas or Sam for Samuel. He never, ever uses his full name. Neither does the vast majority of his friends, family etc. He would introduce himself using his shortened name to anyone new.
Fairly lighthearted but I find it really weird that both his parents use his full name, plus a few friends. Isn’t it a bit rude to insist on using someone’s full name when it’s not their preferred name? If you are someone that does this - why?!

Most parents use their childs full name, I wouldn't say there's anything rude about it.

I use a shortened version of my name. I prefer it all round, however apart from my close friends and husband I can't get people to use it consistently.

At work it often doesn't matter how many times I sign off emails with my preferred name, people still reply using my full name. So annoying!

If you want to get technical about it, it’s whoever shortened your husband’s name in the first place who was the “rude” one, I think. We christened our son with a name that can be shortened, but we have never, ever used the shortened version. Just because his friends/work colleagues use it, doesn’t mean that we should change the habit of over 30 years. I don’t use his full name “deliberately” or to “go against” those who use the abbreviated version. I just automatically use his full name.

In fact my own name is regularly shortened by people. I don’t use the shortened version myself, but I don’t mind if others use it, and obviously I answer to it, but it’s not my actual name, in my opinion. However, I don’t consider people who DO shorten it to be “rude”. So no, @ChilliPB I think it’s wrong to consider the your DH’s parents “rude”. They’re just using the name they gave to their son.

My son is Matthew, his friends call him Matt. He's never asked me to call him Matt and signs cards etc as Matthew. I love his name, i chose it but if he asked me to call him Matt, I would.

My best friend is called a shortened version of her name by everyone except me and her husband. I’ve known her for 46 years and I’ve never used that name- it wouldn’t feel natural to do so.

But has he actually told them - with actual words - that he doesn’t want to be addressed by his full name? Has he said to his parents please don’t call me X, I don’t like it, please call me Y? Because it seems that you’re just expecting them to pick up on it because he always uses the shortened version rather than him actually telling them straight.

Some of my family (mum, when she was alive, sister, cousins, aunts) call me by one of the shortened version of my name. My friends call me by another (my preferred) version.

My Mum and sister did try for a while to use my preferred name (out of kindness to me) , but it sounded off to me, so I asked them to revert to the name they'd always called me.
when my sister spent time with my friends, she explained to friends that the name she used for me was a family only name and that it shouldn't be adopted by others.

I presume as he is a grown up he could discuss it with them if he wanted too

He’s told them loads of times 😂

He could, and he has! But it doesn’t have any impact.

But he’s asked them to use the shortened version, and has been called the full version since he can remember. He doesn’t associate himself with the full version as it’s not used by anyone other than them and a couple of friends randomly.

It's the opposite with my family they all use the diminutive of my name, which I haven't liked since I was about 12/13 so anyone I met after that age uses my full name as that's how I would've introduced myself

I have the opposite problem. My name is the shortened version if a longer name that some people decide must be my 'proper' name. I tell them nicely the first time.......

Not using the version he’s asked them to is rude on their part.

This happens to me, too. I really dislike the short form of my name and never use it. My family do, and I’ve accepted that there’s nothing I can do about that. I have a group of old friends who also do, and it annoys the hell out of me, but I think there’s very little point in trying to change it- it would probably just make it into a Thing. I do correct anyone who introduces me as shortname though, and say actually it’s longname. In general, I think you should call people whatever they ask to be called where proper names are concerned.

We have it the other way round. My daughter prefers the long form of her name. We always call her the short form which was what we intended but put the long form on her birth certificate as it sounds better in the long form with our surname.

We’re the only people she let’s call her the short form though.

His parents use his full name - well, of course they do - how else would he know when he's in trouble?

I use the full firm as do all the family. That’s the name we gave him.
High school teachers shortened it first, then friends, now GF and her family. But we still say and write the full name.

But - he’s never said he doesn’t like it! Maybe I should ask him - but maybe not as I’d hate to use the shortened version - I don’t like it.

The only person who uses the long form of my name is my aunt and even then I tell her off when she does because she pronounces it wrong 😂

My full name is Clarinet (example, obviously) but family and few work places etc have used “Nettie” or “Net” which I don’t mind answering to. Recently the people somewhere I go regularly have started calling me “Clar”! I don’t mind but it’s kind of weird.
However I do know someone who was christened “Betty” (not Elizabeth) and a Kate who is not Catherine.

I only started using a shortened version at uni. My parents have always called me by the full version.

I expect if I asked them they would use the shortened, but I haven't asked.

I grew up with my husband and have always called him by his full name. Everyone in our family, all our friends and people in our village call him by his full name. At work they call him the shortened version, he even has it on his business cards and I hate it.
In day to day life I rarely speak to people from his work so it's not a major issue. However, our DD's boyfriend now works for my DH so he frequently calls him by his shortened name round the dinner table. I bite my tongue 😂

They are your DHs parents . They are allowed to call his full name 🤣
My mother didn't like names that can be shortened so called myself and my siblings boring names that weren't easy to shorten.
She also insisted on calling my 3 cousins Victoria, Jacqueline and Deborah their full names, even when they were in their 40s, nobody else did!! 🤣

Different people can call someone different names. My brother uses his full name professionally and among new people - our family use his initials because we have and it has stuck. Other people use the obvious shortened version of his long name. We all know we’re talking about.

BIL has a family nickname which is nothing to do with his actual name, he is nickname to us, full name to friends and shortened version of nickname to his gf.

I was christened Deborah, I love Deborah, I introduce myself and fill in forms as Deborah. I hate Debbie, always have. Despite this my FIL, BIL, SIL and a few older neighbours call me Debbie. I answer out of respect but could quite honestly scream at them every time. Call me Deborah, Debs, Deb anything but Debbie. I’ve no idea why when you introduce yourself as one thing you then get called something else. The strange thing is my in-laws called my husband by a name that couldn’t be shortened for that very thing.