Not using someone’s shortened name

[ChilliPB]

My DH’s name is one that had a well known/obvious shortened version - similar to Nick for Nicholas or Sam for Samuel. He never, ever uses his full name. Neither does the vast majority of his friends, family etc. He would introduce himself using his shortened name to anyone new.
Fairly lighthearted but I find it really weird that both his parents use his full name, plus a few friends. Isn’t it a bit rude to insist on using someone’s full name when it’s not their preferred name? If you are someone that does this - why?!

I have a friend whose name is Samuel Michael Jones (not actual name but you’ll get the drift) and until he went to uni was known as Sam. He now goes by Mike and introduces himself as such. Myself and my siblings still call him Sam and so do his parents and his siblings. But my DH finds this utterly frustrating because he introduced himself to DH as Mike (met at a wedding) and DH is like “you all call him Sam but I am the only one who calls him Mike because it’s polite to call someone what they introduce themselves as”. Causes a lot of confusion but I can’t call him Mike, it’s just bloody weird. Sam doesn’t mind what he’s called.

My brother is known by a shortening of his surname by all his friends and even his partner.
Me and our parents call him by his first name because that's what we know him by.No biggie.

My parents and I never shortened my brother’s name but all his friends used a diminuative. He just answered to both. Why wouldn’t your bloke’s parents use the name they chose for him, OP?

My in-laws always call DH by a shortened version of his name, - Nicky, not Nick or Nicholas for example.
He hates it. He has asked them to call him Nick or Nicholas , but never Nicky. MIL & SIL chose to ignore it. DH thinks they are rude. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Everyone shortens my name and I hate it.

I have told a few of them but they just forget/don't care.

I use their full names in the hope that they don't like it either. I'm prickly like that.

I have a long/short name like this.

I was always referred to by the long version by everyone as a kid. My dad pretty much always used it until he died. It's the name he gave me after all. My mum now goes about 50/50 with the long/short version. My sister (and her children) call me the long version.

I started being called the shorter version at school as a teenager. It became the name I introduced myself as to new friends, although I still would write down my full name on forms etc.

So, in short... whatever.

I've found this strange. I'm about to leave a toxic workplace after 18 months. I have a shortened version of my name that everyone knows me by, sign off emails by and I introduce myself by.

The team I work in, I've noticed call me by my nickname when they want something and my full name when they're complaining about something. It's weird. I'd get it I suppose if they just stuck to one or the other......

I think it's quite common for parents to do this.

Not so much friends though. Is it just the friends who have known him since childhood, and therefore maybe before he started to use his short name? Otherwise it's odd.

DP's mum usually calls him by his full name. He doesn't have much extended family left now, but his surviving aunt and uncle always call him by his full name as well. I don't think he particularly minds, but he would certainly never introduce himself by his full name and he uses his shortened name professionally.

Its very common for families to call each other by the name they were known as as a child. His parents gave them that name so it's natural they will call him by it. My brother now calls himself by a shortened version of his name and the friends he made as adult call him that name I still call him by his full name the name he had when we were growing up. I don't think it's rude to call someone by their name. And he certainly isn't offended by it.

My parents deliberately gave me a name that cannot be shortened. It's only one syllable.

It is quite common for people to lengthen it.

Drives me nuts.

My MIL once snapped at me for calling DH a shortened form of
his name, we had been together about a few years by then. Apparently everyone called him long name until I met him.
All his school friends and sister called him short name way before we even met!

I always use a shortened form of my name. One neighbour used to call me by my full name, used to grate everyone as I never introduced myself as such.

Plenty of posters on here talk about naming their child x and say they don’t like the shortenings and won’t ever use them. This is a good example of how it will happen anyway!

This is what happens to my DH his parents and family all call him William while everyone else including me calls him Billy. This kind of thing is pretty common in my experience.

Sometimes people have nicknames which everyone calls them but unless I'm a good friend of that person I'm not that comfortable with using nicknames.

Back in the old days (i.e. before mobile phones,) I rang my boyfriend at his sister's to wish him Happy Christmas. I asked for Andy. They only referred to him as Andrew, so said I must have dialled a wrong number... Similarly, when a uni friend called for my sister, I said, "Sorry, there's no Bella here," because she was Annabel or Annie to the family.

I go with what people introduce themselves as - after all, I am Emma, not Em.

My child has a longish name let’s say it’s Samuel. First few years I called him Sam. Then when he was 5 he wanted to be called “The Muel” which we thought was pretty darn stupid but we tried to do it a lot. He grew out of that and around age 8 wanted to be Sammy. Fine. Then he moved to secondary school and decided he would only answer to Samuel and got quite irate if called Sam or Sammy. There was also a “Mr S” phase but I forget when.

A few years later his friends all started calling him Sam and he told us he was Sam now but I can’t be arsed to change what I say anymore, I’m fed up of him correcting what I say so I told him that I’m the one who carried him bouncing up and down on my bladder for nine months, I’m the one who has to wear Tena pads because of his massive head, and I’m the one who chose the name Samuel, and so he can darn well answer to Samuel, if he wants a nickname to his friends that’s between him and them.

Perhaps other mums also get fed up if their child’s constantly changing nicknames…

My brother is known by his short name, but some of his friends call him by his full name. Someone called him by it and it just stuck.

ds is known by all by his first name, but most of his friends know him as "John" (not real name but similar idea) because his second name is "Johnston" and there is another boy with the same first name as him in their group. He isn't particularly enamoured with his new name but, it is teen boy logic to give one of them another name and it is not done maliciously so I leave it up to him to tell them if it is a problem!

Surely he can forgive it/just get over it with his own parents! Live is too short, plus they named him!

I'm not but my mum is.

In her case it's snobbery.
My sister's husband's shortened version of his name, that he prefers and everyone uses, is what my mum clearly considers a 'common' name and so she only uses the full version. Eg he goes by kev, everyone calls him kev, she calls him Kevin and does a nasty little nose wrinkle when someone calls him kev.

Ah this is interesting. My eldest has a long traditional name. I use the long version. Sometimes, family members call him the short version, and his little nursery friend called him the short version too the other day. I don't feel the short version fits him even though I named him 😂I like the short version, it just feels like the long version suits him. If he told me he wanted to be called the short version, I'd do my best to respect it and change the habit though! (He's only 3.5 right now)

In the case of your husband's parents though - they chose his name and probably call him that because that's what they named him and they love it. Bit off of them to not adapt to what he prefers though

Different people call me different things, my name has half a dozen short versions. I only dislike 1, but love the person who calls me it so I don’t mind.
My mum calls me by my full name and I don’t mind at all.
i have my preferred shortened version but I don’t hate my name and have never found being called it rude.

Everyone calls my husband by his shorter name except his mum and dad.

Having said that, I call DCs by their full name and their friends call them shorter versions!

I have a shortened version, that the majority of people use, some don't. All my family use the shortened version.

I don't find it rude if people use the long version, just sounds very formal to me.

I am weird like this and always call people by their full names. I have a few friends named Emma or similar, and in recent years other friends will refer to them as “Em” etc but I always still call them by their full name. No idea why! Although, I absolutely hate people shortening my name unless they are close friends or family.

He ignored his actual name? That's a bit weird.

I am the other way if anyone uses the short version I hate it, only 1 person can call me the short version and thats the husband. Everyone else is the long name.