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AIBU?

Airbnb owner keeps texting me WWYD

162 replies

Marniemo · 21/01/2024 21:24

Rented a cottage for a week and the owner is a lovely very kind woman. She keeps wanting to come over and meet my kids. I’ve been here two days and she has texted me every single day since. I have now agreed to Wednesday evening.

AIBU to think this is odd? Im sure she is very nice but it feels full on. I’m wondering if she just wants to check on her property?

OP posts:
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DeeLusional · 22/01/2024 09:36

Why do women have so much trouble just saying NO?

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NotMyFirstChoiceofName · 22/01/2024 09:36

HairyQueenofSnots · 22/01/2024 08:52

You need to report this to Air BnB. It’s against their policy,

I did. I got a fairly generic 'thanks very much' email back (which didn't fill me with a huge amount of confidence but I might be doing them a disservice) and then asked them to delete my account/data because I was sure I was never going to feel right booking with them again.

This was about 4 years ago.

Edited

That’s very poor, I’m sorry you got that response.

If you decide to use air BnB again , under “your profile“ you will see “support “ and the second heading is “ get help with a safety issue “

” Privacy “ is one of the concerns you can report.

Id urge anyone who has had concerns to do this. It makes things safer for the next guests.

For those who don’t like it when the owner lives next door/ down the drive, can I suggest that you read the reviews and the listing very carefully. These things are nearly always mentioned.

There’s a whole section on how much contact the host will have with guests . Usually something like

“ We don’t live on site but we are always available by phone “ or “ We don’t live locally so Monica manages it for us “ ( often an agent).

The section on check in / check out will show if it’s self check in or if the host will meet you.

As this thread shows, some people like the personal touch. If you don’t want a tour of the house, chose a listing with self check in and out.

Very friendly / sociable hosts are always mentioned in the reviews. Take the time to read them all - yes even if there are 200 of them. IME it’s worth an hour of your time to get the right place for you.

Im a frequent air BnB guest BTW, not a host.

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Gymmum82 · 22/01/2024 09:44

Newestname002 · 22/01/2024 09:21

@Gymmum82

We had an owner just turn up in the middle of our stay to show another prospective renter round! She then proceeded to complain the house was a mess (it wasn’t we had just cooked a meal so things were out in the kitchen and the kids shoes were left by the back door where they’d been running in and out of the garden)

What did you say to this rude host? Did you put this in your review when you left? 🌹

I said it wasn’t convenient however my husband let her in and said it was ok 🙄
I did leave a review saying it was completely inappropriate to show people round while there were guests staying

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Springforward19 · 22/01/2024 09:45

This is either someone who is paranoid about letting her property or more likely she is looking for company. I would text her & say if its ok with you we are really here to get some breathing space after a stressful time so we'd prefer not to have a visit during this time. Thank you for your kind hospitality.

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WandaWonder · 22/01/2024 09:46

No idea why you would agree, I would have emailed no to start with

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RubiksBoob · 22/01/2024 09:51

Rocketpants50 · 22/01/2024 08:36

We had this on a recent trip, once when we arrived with homemade bread, she was wonderful and then she brought us homemade cakes, told us all about local places to go and eat and visit. She then invited us to her house. Which we did and she took all the children horse riding.

Sometimes people are just being lovely people!

She still messages us now that we are home as we live in different countries as she is interested in where we live.

Sometimes people are just being lovely people!

But it's not 'lovely' for guests who would rather be left alone. Honestly, spending an evening of my holiday feeling obliged to make conversation with a stranger would not be 'lovely' for me.

I completely get that some people would love it, but the host needs to understand that for some guests, meeting new people is not the purpose of a holiday and that they would rather just be left alone.

A 'lovely' person would pick up on the signals and not push it. You were obviously happy to spend time on your holiday getting to know your Airbnb owner, and that's great, but I would hope that as well as being sociable with guests like you, who were happy to chat, she would also have been able to tell when a guest wanted to keep their holiday private.

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SallyWD · 22/01/2024 10:01

I'm a bit soft so would probably suggest she pops round for a cup of tea just before you leave. That way you can enjoy the holiday without interruption but don't reject her.

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JennyBeanR · 22/01/2024 10:06

I've had so many issues with Airbnb hosts texting and intimidating that I've given up using it. Tbh I think it's not managed well enough to protect the users.

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VickyEadieofThigh · 22/01/2024 10:20

"No thanks, that wouldn't work for us." That's all was needed.

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Redlarge · 22/01/2024 10:26

Id hate this.

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Shessyillinbed · 22/01/2024 10:29

I'm very in tune with my guests, they self check in, I say I'm here if they need me and that's it. We do live next door but honestly unless they were making loads of noise (that's only happened once in 3 years) then I would never ever go over. I don't even go out in my garden if guests are in 'their' bit of the garden as they are the priority and entitled to absolute privacy and relaxation time.

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JonnyTheDogFacedBoy · 22/01/2024 10:31

I'd hate this. One, I'm an introvert and don't really relish small talk with strangers. Two, why you should you give up any of your precious holiday time to entertain the host?

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Chris002 · 22/01/2024 10:40

I could be she is just trying to be friendly
You don't say how old she is
And how old you are
May be I am guessing it could be a generational difference if she is older ?
In the past lots of guest houses and b&b owners would see being sociable with their guests as a good thing and may result in repeat business.
Maybe she is of an older generation and has been a b&b owner for a long time.
Or maybe she remembers staying in such places herself.
when I was a kid in the seventies I remember staying in a holiday flat with mum & sister - we had no car and my sister who was only about 4 at the time had
food poisoning and the owners of the property took us to a &e in their car in the middle of a bad storm - they lived in the flat downstairs my mum had previously complained to me that she thought they were nosy because they were always hanging around in the front garden when we went in and out but we were grateful for a lift that night when we needed it.

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Snowydaysfaraway · 22/01/2024 10:40

Once turned up at a converted church Airbnb.. The host led us to the kitchen where an afternoon tea was set up.
With 3 cups and 3 plates...
Very awkward...
Or the beautiful place hosted by a very keen collector of taxidermy...

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candycane222 · 22/01/2024 10:45

NotMyFirstChoiceofName · 22/01/2024 09:36

That’s very poor, I’m sorry you got that response.

If you decide to use air BnB again , under “your profile“ you will see “support “ and the second heading is “ get help with a safety issue “

” Privacy “ is one of the concerns you can report.

Id urge anyone who has had concerns to do this. It makes things safer for the next guests.

For those who don’t like it when the owner lives next door/ down the drive, can I suggest that you read the reviews and the listing very carefully. These things are nearly always mentioned.

There’s a whole section on how much contact the host will have with guests . Usually something like

“ We don’t live on site but we are always available by phone “ or “ We don’t live locally so Monica manages it for us “ ( often an agent).

The section on check in / check out will show if it’s self check in or if the host will meet you.

As this thread shows, some people like the personal touch. If you don’t want a tour of the house, chose a listing with self check in and out.

Very friendly / sociable hosts are always mentioned in the reviews. Take the time to read them all - yes even if there are 200 of them. IME it’s worth an hour of your time to get the right place for you.

Im a frequent air BnB guest BTW, not a host.

That's a good point. I have only had lovely hosts who were genuinely pleasant and useful (like the one who made sure to warn us about roads being closed the morning of our ferry, due to a local race) But I do always mention it in my review and I think if I was hoping to be left alone, "super friendly and helpful" might put me off!

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bombardelli · 22/01/2024 10:45

Just text her and tell her you are having some much needed family time and if there is anything she would like to discuss you can give her a quick call.

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Prelapsarianhag · 22/01/2024 10:54

We once rented a holiday flat in Edinburgh, the couple who owned it kept asking us round for drinks. We did not go but were really running out of excuses. What I wanted to say was - We are not here to fucking entertain you.

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MrsSkylerWhite · 22/01/2024 10:56

A big, fat NO.

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booni13 · 22/01/2024 11:00

Oh god, that's so awkward!!!

I'm guessing she's either a bit older and wants some company, or she wants to check in to make sure you're not trashing the place. I guess some people also don't fully understand boundaries.

I wonder if other people left feedback saying she does this?

You're going to have to think of an excuse as to what you need to cancel her coming over but I don't know what that could be 🙈. I wouldn't want her to come in the meet everyone because you might not get rid of her for hours.

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alivio · 22/01/2024 11:00

we stayed in an air b&b recently where the owner lived next door and knocked on our door asking if we wanted to go for a dog walk! Nope. I'm here for family time and privacy. As nice as she was. I didn't mention in my review because I wanted a good one back in return. I don't always trust airb&b reviews now.

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FrenchandSaunders · 22/01/2024 11:11

I stayed in one where the owners wanted me to join them for drinks all the time. It was their home, they rented out a couple of bedrooms (I haven't done that since, always gone for whole house!).

They were upstairs thankfully, the room I was in was downstairs and I had to creep in quietly hoping they wouldn't hear me and appear on the landing asking me to join them in the kitchen. Really lovely friendly couple but that's not my thing at all, having to make small talk with strangers like that .... possibly a problem with me rather than them 😀

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moomoomoo27 · 22/01/2024 11:13

FrenchandSaunders · 22/01/2024 11:11

I stayed in one where the owners wanted me to join them for drinks all the time. It was their home, they rented out a couple of bedrooms (I haven't done that since, always gone for whole house!).

They were upstairs thankfully, the room I was in was downstairs and I had to creep in quietly hoping they wouldn't hear me and appear on the landing asking me to join them in the kitchen. Really lovely friendly couple but that's not my thing at all, having to make small talk with strangers like that .... possibly a problem with me rather than them 😀

I think it's a pretty common Airbnb understanding that you're implying you're interested in socialising if you don't book a whole house.

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SingsongSu · 22/01/2024 11:16

Shessyillinbed · 21/01/2024 21:56

I'm an Airbnb owner/host, they haven't as far as I'm aware. I don't ever hassle my guests, they know I'm here if they need anything

I’m Airbnb host too and am not aware of Airbnb suggesting this at all. I never visit nor would I want to but guests have contact details for any issues. Bit weird I think but could be perfectly innocent?

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newusername2009 · 22/01/2024 11:20

I pulled out of an Airbnb booking this summer because the owner asked for my linked in profile, wanted a full run down of my family life and what our plans were during the holiday - these I gave her but when that was not enough and she kept asking for more including a phone interview I pulled out.

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Erdinger · 22/01/2024 11:22

That’s one of the reasons I never book bnb . People don’t understand boundaries . Just say no , it’s a short holiday for you and your family .

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