Do men really do this?

[pinkiepie87]

I recently went on a date (we didn't have sex) I really liked him, we got talking about how long we've been single etc

He told me today that he's had sex with a few women recently, he didn't fancy any of them - in fact he found them unattractive. He was drunk but even when drunk didn't fancy them.

I asked him how on earth did he get hard, stay hard to "perform" and finish if he didn't like them? Also he said he gave them foreplay so why would he touch someone's body he didn't like? He said he didn't really like their bodies either...

Anyway he said all men do this for different reasons,

Now I want to give up dating.

AIBU?

My ex told me after midnight when clubbing ' any hole is the goal ' delightful

Maybe the women felt the same about him and used him for sex?

It just sounds like he's being honest, I don't know why PP's are assuming the women weren't also OK with the arrangement and were being manipulated?

Some men and some women just enjoy sex or get caught up in the moment, they don't have to always be super attracted to each other or planning to marry 🙄

Obviously if you aren't cool with this element of his past/ present then it gives you your answer about this particular man

Well he's quite the catch.

I'm not really sure why you enabled him to tell you all this though. Didn't you want to just walk away?

Same principle as a prostitute with respect to not fancying them.

Part of me wonders if men like this get off on the power they think they have by conquering a woman knowing that they feel nothing for them. Sort of like how rape is often about power.

Most men do. Any hole is a goal!

So did I actually but I thought this line of convo would be with other men as 'banter' on a lads' night out. Certainly not to other women whilst on a date 😐

Arranged marriages between complete strangers have been common throughout history. Most of them were consummated, whether or not the parties fancied each other. Though apparently Henry VIII couldn't get it up for Anne of Cleves.

Exactly the same with me. I think it’s quite backwards that all these women are saying only men can use women for sex and that they’re gross for sleeping with someone they don’t absolutely fancy the pants off.

Saw this and thought of you OP

www.facebook.com/share/v/Gch22WKmfcGQGTou/

I think the most bizarre thing is he admitted this on a first date -I doubt he has many second dates!

Not surprised at his attitude - when I was a student I used to live in a red light area where some of the women looked like zombies They were unclean, undernourished - clearly very fucking vulnerable; didn't stop the cars pulling up - and probably most of those men had wives/GFs at home!

I worked with a man in a LTR who said when having sex with his partner he regularly thought about other women - maybe they all do? I don't understand it really; my brain isn't that powerful to imagine Tom Hardy to get wet for Andrew Tate 🤢

Why’d he use them? I mean isn’t having a one night stand always “using” someone for sex? The women weren’t expecting marriage?

if you have a one night stand but think about, I dunno, giraffes or mushrooms or what you’re having for dinner, is it the business of the other person? Not really.

this man had sex with women who didn’t ask anything of him, other than sex. He did it. Does it make any difference if he really fancies them or not?

About 25 years ago, I had a drunken one night stand with a colleague, and we ended up going out on a actual proper date months later. After ending up in bed again, he said to me: "You have amazed me. I never thought I could fancy a fat woman". I was a size 14. Yes, it seems, men will shag absolutely anything.

Lots of men will shag just about anything. Beer goggles is part of it.

Bet you're glad you didn't have sex with him.
If you do in spite of all this, at least you know the type of person you're getting.

Haha yeah I definitely agree with that.

You don't need to understand it as he's just foul. Same as trying to understand a rapist or abuser. It's who they are.

He uses women and doesn't have respect for them, himself or you to even disclose it so early on.

He is not the measure of all men, why do you feel the need to understand him or to stop dating based on a loser?

Do you think there are no women who sleep with men they don't find attractive?

Whole point of dating is to find out if you're compatible, if not, you move on.

I agree with this I bet this is a turn on to some men, I’ve heard some stories in my time. My sister use to have a friend who once said a man insisted on putting a pillow over her head when they had sex and when his friends came he asked her to hide in a cupboard god knows why she told us or why she even agreed to that! She wasn’t typically attractive so maybe had low self worth.

Many women on here post admitting they've never found their husbands attractive/never fancied them.

Throw this fucker back OP, he is a pig.

i know this is a thing, but I wouldn’t date someone who freely told me that. Why? It’s a vile attitude towards women

This, with bells on!!!!! Please never see this scum again.

Why has he ‘used’ them?

Tbh I’ve slept with men I don’t find that attractive. Once to make his friend jealous, another time out of boredom. There wasn’t anything better on offer and I couldn’t be bothered with looking. 🤷🏼‍♀️ did I ‘use’ those men? I never promised a relationship or anything and they seemed to enjoy themselves.

I will hasten to add the jealousy one was when I was 19.

Pp saying they know it's the truth but object to him saying it

I can't get my head round that. Surely it's better to know? I mean, imagine being married to someone for 20 years or whatever and finding they think that after all those years.