To not want to lose my only friend over my beliefs

[SilverBranchGoldenPears]

I will keep this very short.
I have one friend where I live- relatively new. I’m far from home. No others on the horizon- I know I need to find more but it’s a struggle. I’m GC and I know when they find out they will not speak to me again. I will not and cannot lie about my feelings on this. Currently she is trying to probe. I feel very sad about it as I don’t care what she thinks, I just want to be her friend. I think people can have different beliefs and get on.
How do I go about it? Should I start the conversation now and accept the consequences?
Should I avoid it as long as I can? and if so how?

I‘m not sure what exactly I’m asking but I am just sad about it. Has anyone else been in this situation? Thanks!

AIBU - don’t be sad
YANBU - it is sad and it’s ok to be sad

So, a few cases that made it to the media means there's now "many", that's BS. More rapes/assaults are committed by men who identify as men, that's just a fact. This is just another way to hit out at trans people, it's vile.

I don’t think that you have a grasp on the issues

Most people are roughly in agreement with what are called 'gc' beliefs, OP. Why on earth do you think anyone would be upset by them?

Seems an odd thread, tbh.

Do you truly believe that most men will identify as a woman to go into the women's toilets/changing rooms?

If a 'man' identifies as a woman he is a woman. Pretty rude and discriminatory to call someone a man when you know that's not what they identify as

@HalloumiGeller but this is part of the problem, for women, is it's all about trans people's right to use spaces with no recognition of women's concerns

No I don't think all trans women are sexual predators - my cousin isn't BUT, and this is where I find TRA's just don't engage - women, through their very really lived experiences, have a RIGHT to want spaces that are women only (penis free) and that is a legitimate thing to ask for. It's not at anyone's expense it's just women wanting to be in women only spaces.

There is also the issue - which I don't understand why the TR Movement wont acknowledge or condemn, of predatory males USING 'trans' as a disguise to commit crimes against women - these men are surely a problem for your movement as much as they are for women? So why not engage in a discourse that acknowledges their existence and condemns their behaviour.

The problem with a lot of TRA views is that they are dripping in male privilege with a refusal to even try to understand women's, very real, experiences of male violence.

What rights are GC women trying to take away? TRA seem to want to take away women's rights to safe spaces, and our name.

These things don't happen often enough for it to be an issue, it's not the problem that people are trying to portray it is. What's more concerning is the rising level of measles infections in the UK, now that IS a problem, but people would rather focus on a non issue instead 🙄

Yet you are here, discussing it, too.

Are you just here to tell the rest of us to stop talking, or what?

I agree with you.

I couldn't be friends with you either.

I think these opinions are polarising, far more than politics, religion, social class, practically any other subject I could think about.

My 2 dealbreakers would be racism and views on gender identity. I did used to think homophobia too but see my post above.

I could be pleasant to you, and respectful of your views as a colleague or acquaintance, but I feel the same as you, in that our views are too different for us to be close friends. It's a shame because as others have pointed out, by not engaging, we run the risk of existing in an echo chamber, but for me, I think you're views are nonsensical and based on sexism, misogyny and fantasy, and I suspect you feel my views are based on bigotry and intolerance.

I wanted to add I have a (very) GC friend. We avoid talking about it, as I do also have a trans family member. I can be close to both.

So some harm is okay? What is the acceptable number?

That's because there are no issues. A few cases does not mean there is a significant problem in society at all. There will always be horrible people, that's just life.

How many times do women have to feel threatened or be sexually assaulted for it to become an issue for you?

People can be concerned about several things at once, of course. Bizarre to suggest that discussing one topic means no one cares at all about any other topic.

I'm GC. That doesn't mean I don't believe that people should conform to gender stereotypes.

This, from a PP shows that many people don't know what GC means.

@HalloumiGeller Body dismorphia is absolutely a thing. We are not transphobic and we fully support trans people and the rights of adults to present how they wish.

We do have a problem vulnerable children being sexualised, exploited and medicalised though.
Self ID as trans without a dismorphia diagnosis can result in that trans status being used to gain the access I describe.

My son went through a phase when he thought he might be trans when he was 16-17. He decided he wasn’t but it is strange that you assume I have no clue about it.

Do you truly believe that most men will identify as a woman to go into the women's toilets/changing rooms?

No. Most men won't.

But quite a lot of male sex offenders have announced they're transwomen, in order to get into women's prisons.

I'm here because it pisses me off that people can be so closed minded and quite frankly, stupid.

Why do you feel that people that think differently to you are stupid?

Oh, great. You're going to educate us. Women love that.

He can identify however he wants, but his DNA will not change.

Women are threatened and assaulted daily, and guess what? Its by men identifying as men, not men identifying as women. The incidents you are referring to (trans people) happen so very rarely in comparison, so it's massively unfair to then punish all trans people over it. What's next, banning all men from pubs and clubs so they can't attack women?

And the men who identify as "furries"? Are we to pretend they're actually animals? Where does it stop?

Because it comes from a place of ignorance.

So are they ignorant or stupid? Those are two very different things

lol