To take time off work to care for DH with gastro

[Fanningme]

I'm due to do a shift tomorrow at work . DH has started with some kind of D & V - It seems pretty bad. I don't think I could go to work knowing DH is at home vomiting with no adult to take care of him - I'd be constantly worrying. My teenager will be in but will probably be asleep mosr of the morning. DH is saying he wants me to stay home to take care of him.

Assuming he's still vomiting tomorrow morning is it reasonable for me to miss work to care for him as I am not ill. Would it be on an unpaid compasdionate leave basis? Sorry - I've never been in this position before.

I'm really not sure what at all you mean. Much like all your posts? Do you need some counselling for health anxiety?

He's a grown man, I'm sure he can look after himself. Not sure why you'd need to be there to mop his brow. Just leave him some water and go to work. I'd be fuming if I was your boss. Give it 48 hours and I'm sure you'll be throwing up yourself. Do you think your DH will be sat by your bedside rest to mop your brow? No. Didn't think so.

Perhaps you need counselling for your work anxiety? Or a better job? Thinking you’d be “on a disciplinary” for taking a family day can’t be a nice feeling to live with.

I cant imagine your work being at all sympathetic. Hes an adult he'll be fine.

I've been on my own with D&V caring for my children with no help...I'm sure your husband will be fine

Hand him a bucket, dressing gown of doom and go to work

You make him sound like a child, OP. There is no way this would be compassionate leave.

@BabaBarrio - Lol, you aren’t quite on the level are you. Perhaps best you step away from the statistics.

I wouldn't take the day off to look after an adult with D&V who didn't have any underlying health conditions.

However, if I shared the same bed with them, I wouldn't go out as I would likely be contagious and become the Patient Zero at work. In which case, if I couldn't work from home, I would end up looking after them, but that wouldn't be why I was off work, IYSWIM.

I like to camp out in the bathroom if I’m ill. A camping mat, large jug of cold squash and radio/ podcasts is all you need for the day. That’s how I spent a lot of my first trimesters. I don’t fully fit lying down so my legs stick out into the hallway but I’m totally self sufficient.

Who said anything about a disciplinary? And what's a family day?

Exactly.

Can he not get to the bathroom in time? Not being heartless, but most D&V tends to allow for that.

Bloody hell, my DH is bed bound with Multiple Myeloma. 6 broken vertebrae, hip, shoulder blade and several ribs when we stopped counting.

I leave him sometimes with food, drinks, urine bottle and a TV remote to go shopping etc.

If this happened, my response would be:

Leave a packet of paracetamol out, and a bottle of water (you could consider flask/insulated bottle if he likes to sip cold water when unwell) + a bucket to chunder in +/- a wet flannel in a plastic bag and tissues.

Unless there are additional needs, while it's nice to have someone looking after you when you have D&V it's not a need for an adult - very different if an 8 year old has it.

I am wondering if that poster is American (which would make their rant about the NHS even more funny given US healthcare). I’ve heard American’s refer to unpaid leave for dependents as family days.

He's a grown up. He'll manage.

Make sure he knows where the Dettol etc is so he can clean up after himself.

You're my ex-colleague aren't you? She had two 'emergency' days off because her husband was put on steroids and she had to be there to give them to him because he'd forget to take them otherwise. How we all raised our eyebrows.🙄

Dioralyte is used to treat dehydration caused by diarrhoea, vomiting, or excessive sweating. Leave that and let him get over it. Either that or a bit of salt and sugar in water

This is so odd. I thought he would have additional care needs or there was a young child at home he was in charge of. The last thing I or most people I know want when they have d&v js anyone else about. Buy in some favourite drinks and some palatable food is all I’d do, def not take time off work

Surely he's just going to be in the bathroom or sleeping. Put a jig of water by the bed, get him some electrolyte drink, maybe also a bucket and make sure there's plenty of toilet paper. If I had D&V I'd prefer to be on my own.

I just AS - 3 months ago you were looking to legally separate from this manchild - why would you be mopping his brow etc now?!

There was one occasion dh was worried about leaving me when I had d&v and he actually got my parents to come (drive an hour) but that was to care for dd (9 months old). 111 had sent a gp to our house in the middle of the night as I was so unwell (thought maybe appendicitis) and gave me morphine for pain and anti sickness injection. He said if I was sick once more within 4 hours I’d need hospital because I was so dehydrated.

in op’s situation I’d line up drugs, fluids, tissues, bin, sick bowl and leave dh to sleep it off.

Leave him with loads of water handy and a sick bucket. He can manage to tip it down the toilet when he’s having his shits!

@Fanningme DH is saying he wants me to stay home to take care of him.

Awww, bless his cotton socks. Whatever that means. Leave a can of soup on the counter with the instructions "Microwave for two minutes, NOT IN TIN".

He's a man. He'll be fine. Your DC doesn't need to worry about him either.