To take time off work to care for DH with gastro

[Fanningme]

I'm due to do a shift tomorrow at work . DH has started with some kind of D & V - It seems pretty bad. I don't think I could go to work knowing DH is at home vomiting with no adult to take care of him - I'd be constantly worrying. My teenager will be in but will probably be asleep mosr of the morning. DH is saying he wants me to stay home to take care of him.

Assuming he's still vomiting tomorrow morning is it reasonable for me to miss work to care for him as I am not ill. Would it be on an unpaid compasdionate leave basis? Sorry - I've never been in this position before.

Actually I used to volunteer at a hospice. We weren't allowed in if one of our family had d&v. Staff too.

He wants someone to mop his brow and get him paracetamol? Empty his sick bowl? FGS I hate this phrase but MAN UP!
No normal sick person with D&V would want their partner near them. It could be catching, and it's not the most dignified of states. I'd want to be alone in a darkened room. Go to work.

All the very many people without partners cope. How do you think they do this?!

what kind of leave do you have in mind .If he doesn't have additional needs/disabilities, it would raise more than a few eyebrows where I work. If your DH is otherwise fit and well, it's ridiculous to be honest and not a normal thing to do. Do you always baby him to such an extend?

I would think you were either batshit for wanting to inconvenience your whole team, pity you for being in a controlling relationship or worry about your vulnerability and what relationship you will expose yourself to if you think that is normal.

It's not normal. If hes that ill he needs to be in hospital.

Does he take time off work to look after you in that way?

@BobbyBiscuits man up is entirely appropriate. No man is taking dependents leave to care for a wife with D&V.

He will stop throwing up soon once no food left. Doesn’t need a vomit bucket. As adults we can get ourselves to the toilet to throw up

by tomorrow he will be just feeling rubbish laying in bed

i wouldn’t grant leave for an employee in this situation.

Are you real? If you're my colleague I would be really pissed off.

Where do we work? For companies that know they have a responsibility to their other staff and, potentially, any customers, to ensure that someone who might be highly contagious stays at home.

The fact that yourself and so many other posters think OP should 'stop being silly' and 'just go to work', certainly goes some way to explain why there are always so many bugs going around.

This. It's the responsible thing to do.

Yabu unless he has no arms or legs. He's not 5.

So does he take unpaid leave to stay home and 'take care' of you if you are unwell?
Would he call in a private nurse if he was single?

I'd put the paracetamol, a jug of squash and a bucket by the bed but I'd still go to work.

You would be expected in unless you had the d&v. Your husbands an adult he can manage

Mop his brow? Good lord. Absolutely not. He’s a grown man. He’s got a d&v, he’s not on his death bed. He’ll be right as rain in a couple of days. I’ve never heard anything more ridiculous.

I deal with absences in HR in my company. We sometimes have people taking days off to take care of adult family members who are ill.
It is usually completely unnecessary. We recently had a man lose his job because failed probation due to the high level of absenteeism he has accumulated, all due to taking care of his pregnant wife. She worked for us too and anytime she took a day off for pregnancy related illness (understandable) he took the day off too. Now he has a new baby on the way and no job.
Anyway. I'm sure your husband will be fine by himself.

Might qualify as Dependents leave, which is unpaid but can be used in emergencies

You should notify your firm - a lot of companies don’t want anyone in who has been exposed to D&V

He might be sitting on it…

It’s perfectly possible as an adult to prop yourself on a chair in the bathroom with the loo within easy reach and a bucket with some water and Dettol in it and manage that way if he has both d&v simultaneously. I had to do it myself many times before I had my hysterectomy.

And there is a teenager in the house he can ring or text if he’s in difficulty fhs!

And presumably you can arrange to text him three or four times during your working day to check he’s ok?

You aren’t his mummy and he isn’t your little boy. Both of you need to grow up!

I had D&V just before Christmas and was looking after my 14 month old because we couldn’t afford for both myself and my husband to be off work. But your grown ar$e husband needs someone to look after him!

I can’t believe what I’ve even read!

Wow, this man has really lost his way...back into the womb! Sorry OP, but how did you not laugh at his wanton request...mop his brow!! Is he giving birth 🤔

🤣🤣🤣Mop his brow. I know it is not nice to see your OH sick but c'mon.

This is the most bizarre thing I’ve ever read on MN (and that’s saying something!).

Why would a grown adult (man or women) need another adult at home, simply because they have D&V?!

For a child, yes. For an adult, no. Just make sure he has plenty of everything he needs so doesn't need to go out. Thinking paracetamol, toiletpaper, clean pijamas, water and tea.