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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take time off work to care for DH with gastro

311 replies

Fanningme · 20/01/2024 21:52

I'm due to do a shift tomorrow at work . DH has started with some kind of D & V - It seems pretty bad. I don't think I could go to work knowing DH is at home vomiting with no adult to take care of him - I'd be constantly worrying. My teenager will be in but will probably be asleep mosr of the morning. DH is saying he wants me to stay home to take care of him.

Assuming he's still vomiting tomorrow morning is it reasonable for me to miss work to care for him as I am not ill. Would it be on an unpaid compasdionate leave basis? Sorry - I've never been in this position before.

OP posts:
kisstheblarney · 21/01/2024 02:08

Mop his brow and give him paracetamol?

Give over and tell your lazy teen that tomorrow they can't be in bed all day and need to check in on their DF in case he needs something!

scorpiogirly · 21/01/2024 02:08

How old is he? 5?

HolyZarquonsSingingSeals · 21/01/2024 02:19

Is brow mopping a real thing? I thought it only happened in Victorian novels.

CartingItAround · 21/01/2024 04:33

@RichardMarxisinnocent yes you can put human waste into a black bin. Hospitals have clinical waste, households do not for items such as nappies, incontinence pads, stoma bags.

https://www.cambridge.gov.uk/domestic-clinical-and-hygiene-waste

Domestic clinical and hygiene waste

Domestic clinical and hygiene waste

https://www.cambridge.gov.uk/domestic-clinical-and-hygiene-waste

SD1978 · 21/01/2024 05:55

I genuinely assumed joke/ sarcasm with the brow mopping......but seems not.

viridiano · 21/01/2024 06:15

Fanningme · 20/01/2024 22:00

No additional mobility needs. I guess someone to empty his vomit bucket, get his paracetamol and mop his brow is what he'd require

Those things are really not requirements for a grown adult.

No employer would give you compassionate leave for something like this.

Beezknees · 21/01/2024 06:40

Either you're taking the piss, or your DH has actually asked you to stay off work and you are gauging the reaction here so you can tell him he is being U. If it is the latter, you have a man child on your hands.

Mumof2teens79 · 21/01/2024 06:49

Fanningme · 20/01/2024 22:00

No additional mobility needs. I guess someone to empty his vomit bucket, get his paracetamol and mop his brow is what he'd require

My 13yr old had D&V last month.
I stayed home because I also had flu, but we each stayed in our own rooms and looked after ourselves - mostly to avoid spreading either illness.
She managed to empty her own bucket, get her own food and drink, even wipe round the bathroom with a cleaning wipe after use.

Dustybarn · 21/01/2024 06:51

Mop his brow 😂Is this the 1950’s? Why is he making you risk your job by asking for leave for such a rubbish reason?

Amba1998 · 21/01/2024 06:52

This surely is a joke? Is he 5?

why does an adult need an adult to take care of them when they have d&v

just throw up, get back in bed and sleep it off

you know you’ll catch it?

CeriB82 · 21/01/2024 06:57

Unless you have to wipe him bum or rub his back when he vomits, go to work.

orangeblosssom · 21/01/2024 06:58

LOL

Thatnameistaken · 21/01/2024 06:59

Set him up with a bucket, kitchen roll and a few bottles of water and leave him to it, get your DC to keep an ear on him and get to work, he'll probably be recovering by this morning anyway

hanschristmassolo · 21/01/2024 07:00

As a line manager I'd laugh and cringe at you in equal measures if you did this

fatandhappy47 · 21/01/2024 07:03

Fanningme · 20/01/2024 22:00

No additional mobility needs. I guess someone to empty his vomit bucket, get his paracetamol and mop his brow is what he'd require

No. Just no

Isometimeswonder · 21/01/2024 07:04

Is this a joke? Unless he's having chemotherapy or similar, he does not need that amount of help. I pity your employer really.

FloydWasACat · 21/01/2024 07:07

Would he do the same for you do you think?

Zanatdy · 21/01/2024 07:09

No, if one of my staff said they needed to stay home as their partner had D&V I’d think it was very odd. It’s hardly life threatening. If they will let you take last minute leave and not leaving them short then ask, otherwise it’s unreasonable, he’s not a child

Dantedisciple · 21/01/2024 07:11

The only way this could be true is if you are frequently taking sick days when you are fit as a fiddle and DH hopes you will indulge him too.

Nonewclothes2024 · 21/01/2024 07:26

Fanningme · 20/01/2024 22:00

No additional mobility needs. I guess someone to empty his vomit bucket, get his paracetamol and mop his brow is what he'd require

Sorry , this is ridiculous.

Rockschooldropout · 21/01/2024 08:09

tachetastic · 21/01/2024 00:18

In which case, if I was OP I'd be at work and telling DCs to keep their ear buds in.

DH will work through it (or it will work through him) eventually.

Show quote history

That was in response to the comment about turning round to puke in the toilet - I’m not suggesting OPs DH needs her off work - when my 19 year old had it back in November , he was furnished with a bucket and I kept well away !

MassageForLife · 21/01/2024 08:10

I have to wonder if he would take home off work if you had d&v.

I suspect I know the answer...

Blackalice · 21/01/2024 10:31

I would be keeping as far away as possible from my DH if he had a sickness bug as they are highly contagious 🤣 I might leave him stuff he needs by the door, sure, but emptying vomit buckets, not a hope in Hell 🤣🤣

hogmanayhoolie · 21/01/2024 11:45

Get the teenager out of their bed if the poor man needs tea and sympathy

Ridiculous

Mopping his brow 🤣🤣🤣

DistantSkye · 21/01/2024 11:47

I think the responses are fairly unanimously agreeing that this is not a case for compassionate leave! Is your husband putting pressure on you not to go to work? Controlling in general?

Also a bit 🙄 at the posters saying that you shouldn't go to work because you might catch it off him. Where on earth do you all work that you can take a sick day because someone in your house has a bug 🤣 can't imagine calling into school saying "Sorry, you'll have to cover my classes today, my husband has a sickness bug".