To report the engineer that came to my house?

[Thejewellershands]

I am a 31 year old woman, and today a guy came round to my house to fit a new energy meter. I am a very friendly person who likes to be polite so I greeted him and let him in, asked if he would like a drink etc. I was planning on just going upstairs and telling him to shout if he needs me, but he was really chatty so I just stayed in the room and carried on the conversation with him. He was just asking me normal things at first like how long I have lived here, if I have kids etc. I was asking him if he has plans for the weekend. Just normal stuff. I really shouldn’t have done this, because for some reason this gave him some sort of green light to be very very inappropriate.

After he asked me if I have children he started speaking about his own kids. He told me that his first was conceived through an affair. I was a bit taken aback that he told me this, but then it just got worse. He said he hasn’t had sex with his wife for 27 years and has had multiple affairs. He told me all about her intimacy problems. I was feeling uncomfortable but I didn’t know what to say, I was scared because I was in the house alone with him. So I just tried to change the subject. He kept bringing it back to sexual things though. He said that it was on his bucket list to sleep with a woman of a certain race and he achieved this last year through an affair. He told me she was a customer of his, he went to her house and she was a single mother living alone so a few days later he went back to her house unannounced and took her some food shopping to help her out. I am horrified by this. I want to report him.

he made sexist, racist and homophobic comments. After he tad told me a few things he asked me if I had any stories. I said no. So he asked me if I am a nun. I said no obviously not. He said “have you ever wanted to be naughty?” So I said no. I just wanted him out of my house and I was very scared. He said some more things which I won’t mention and eventually I left the room making an excuse that I needed to go and make sure my cat was ok upstairs and I stayed up there until he shouted me. As he was leaving he asked me “would you swipe left or right?” I said “what??” He said “on tinder. For me” I said I don’t know sorry and shut the door in his face. I locked all of the doors and it’s been 30 minutes and he’s still sat outside.

I want to report him but what if he knows it’s me? Am I being reasonable to be scared or am I overreacting? I’m shocked and disgusted and just so upset and wondering if it was something I did or said to make him say all of that. I didn’t bring any of it up I was just trying to be nice. I know people will probably think I brought it on myself or egged it on by staying there but I just wasn’t sure what to do for the best so I was just trying to be polite and go along with him. But for future I really will just be letting people in and going straight upstairs and not engaging in conversation

I don't know all the ins and outs of data protection/gdpr, but I'm not sure he should be using your telephone number.

@hookiewookie29 aren't dogs incredible... I work in children's services and my dog comes to work with me at times, over the years. Personality of a saint, absolutely bombproof. Has let distraught kids cuddle him for hours, not flinched as theyve smashed houses up, once stayed with a teen runaway for 3 hours refusing to leave her side until adults found her. He has only ever growled at 3 people... 1 tried to mug me in a park, and my dog ran over from the other side of a field already barking... the other 2 are now in prison for sex offences.

Always trust the dog if it doesn't like someone.

Please follow up your complaint letting them know he has sent that text. If you feel able I would unblock him in the morning, not when you’re alone tonight, just to see if he sends anything else.

@Thejewellershands

Screenshot that and send a follow up email to the company. It's no longer your word against his: he has handed you a smoking gun.

The message seems innocent though doesn’t it? Well we know it’s not innocent, but the company may look at it and think nothing is wrong. Because he has only reminded me to leave a review. Even though he doesn’t need to remind me.. he already told me on the day that he installed the smart meter. Is he allowed to contact me after the job is done?

I have unblocked his number in case he sends anything else. I am not sure if the company would see that text as a big deal though would they, as it’s work related about leaving a review? (Obv I know it’s just to start a conversation but in the eyes of the company they may not think it’s a problem)

I love your dog NorthernSarcastic !

Ours have proved to have strong views on people they meet - taking a dislike (always taken into account by us) to very few.

One of ours - a downstairs dog - was allowed upstairs to comfort a newly arrived foster child (a young teen) who was very very stressed and angry and frightened. None of us humans seemed to be able to help - so this was a last ditch attempt.

Despite never being in a human bed or in this particular room and only recently having met the child, the dog seemed to know exactly what to do.

She climbed on the bed and lay along the length of the child and stayed there leaning close to her - all night. The child hugged and stroked her and relaxed and slept. I stayed close but was not needed.

@Thejewellershands
In and of itself the text is innocuous, and had the engineer not made an arse of himself and trauma dumped on you (for that is what it sounds like he was doing), I would let it slide.

BUT... If it is the case that engineers do not generally send follow up texts, then given what you have described in your OP, it is evidence of unwanted contact.

Incidentally, why don't you do as he requests and write a review? He, he.

I think some people are going way too far with this. A smoking gun for what? Asking to fill in a review on trustpilot is not an offence! Yes, it is probably trying to see if he gets a conversation going but since when was that an offence either?

@Staffymum1899
Don’t be soft. You have read the OP - I think we are beyond giving the engineer the benefit of the doubt.

But ultimately, the only witness here is our OP so it’s her call.

Definitely mention the text, he’s taken your number from your account details which is a massive data breech

Im pretty sure there are strict rules these days and most companies don’t allow the workers to contact the customer .

He skating ok thin ice .

Some men just never cease to amaze me..im in my 60's now but thru my life i too have had these pathetic men do exactly the same to me..first ever one was after id thrown abusive partner out,and the vile uriah heep kinda creep bloke from the corner shop came knocking on my back door quite late one night,id never even so much as said hello to the weasel before,but he had a rolled up playboy mag in his hands and asked if id like a bit of company as i must be gasping for it...i told his po faced wife the very next morning and boy was she angry..then the rent man came round and suggested if i slept with him he would pay my rent every week,i was around 18 and he was late 50's..see the pattern with these old geezers? My boiler blew up and two right thickheads turned up from the council, one around 48 the other early 20's and they started arguing in my hallway as to who was going to be sleeping with me first and betting on it !!! All news to me i can assure you..These kind of predators have been around forever and i think its some kind of neanderthal caveman missing link in some mens brains..As i got older i knew how to deal with these lethario larrys but when you're young and vunerable and alone it can be beyond terrifying so should be reported..Funny how these divvys never chat to blokes in the house like this isn't it..sorry for the ramble but just wanted to show that through all those decades, some men will never change,but that is not an excuse to get away with this blatant sexual abuse.

I have had workman/engineers use my number from their company, to let me know they're on their way, so I wouldn't say that was unusual. But I've never had any of them send me a text after the work was completed, review or not!!! I'd say he's desperate for a review in order to look like a good workman... Not a chance you creep... Yeah, I'd leave a bloody review, listing all my concerns about him! But I think in your case it would be better not to, just keep any further texts he sends, if he does. I can't believe how he doesn't seem to take on board how totally inappropriate he's been?! In his tiny tiny mind, he probably passes this behaviour off as "just being a lad"!!! Total arsehole...

He absolutely shouldn’t be texting you after your appointment. It’s a massive breach of data protection and the company will have to follow that with your complaint. Totally unacceptable from him.

I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this. I’m so glad that you’ve reported him and would definitely send a follow up email regarding the text. The text in itself may seem innocuous but the winky face gives it a whole other slant in my opinion and is certainly not professional.

I was widowed in my 30s whilst in the midst of renovating our house and suddenly felt like I’d become a target for inappropriate behaviour from tradesmen. I even had one window guy knock my door at 11pm asking if I wanted company. It’s really scary and not something I felt I’d dealt with before. I now as standard use all the strategies mentioned on the thread as to calling someone (pre arranged with them so they can play along) letting them and the tradesperson in my house hear that I’ve given their name and business. I also often have an adult son asleep upstairs (I don’t) that I take a cup of tea up and remind about something important.

It’s terrible that we as women have to invent ways to protect ourselves and it’s really important that we share these strategies with one another so if the need arises we are prepared and don’t feel the freezing fear and then feel we let ourselves down afterwards. We are not the problem, they are.

When someone makes me uncomfortable I stop them immediately and tell them so and why. He didn't break in. The company had a record he was there. I'd report what he told you as it appears he has a habit of stalking clients.

He knew what he was doing.

Women have a tendency to avoid being "rude" even in the face of extreme rudeness. People like this engineer take that as accepting or encouraging. I will bet the other customers have not reported him either. My coworker had a similar experience with a mechanic who worked on her car. She refuses to report him or even do a Google review. So it will continue. He knows, but he is getting away with it and will continue unless he is reported.

OP has reported him.

I am a 55 year old very shy backward woman. I have found through experience the best way for me to handle a situation like that, is to flat tell them I am uncomfortable with this conversation. I've even had a neighbor who thought it was appropriate to kiss me when I told him no. I pushed him back told him that was enough, no means no and get the hell out of my house. He apologized and said he must have misread my signals. I told him I highly doubt it and get out. You see, what I have learned over the years is that I might be uncomfortable by saying something but I'm also more uncomfortable by not saying something. So I might as well say something and get it over with, at least then nobody can come back later and say well I thought she wanted it she gave me signals. When you flat say stop you're not giving any mixed signals.

God this thread is depressed. Too many women have had to put up with this predatory shit

I am sorry to hear that you have had such an experience - but want to say ‘way to go’ for your response. This is how women should behave, unashamedly.

So many of-the problems discussed on mumsnet would be sorted up if we would just stand up for ourselves. We are not being rude. Have I spoken up in such circumstances? I am trying.

It's a massive breach of GDPR for him to contact you in your personal mobile. Screen shot and email it in as an addition to the complaint.

You might find you aren't the first to complain. Maybe they will listen this time.

If he said he would lose his job and have to leave the industry if he made one more mistake it sounds like there are already some work issues with him.

Have you had any contact from the company since you submitted your complaint?