He wants me to kick my mum out

[Areyouhavingabubble2]

My elderly mother lives with me in my home (and has for the past 8 years) she does do some cooking and cleaning to help out. It’s my home, I own it and pay all the expenses.

I have 3 school age kids who live at home with me and my mother.

My partner moved into my home a year ago, knowing the full situation.
He has been permanently irritated by her since he moved in. He perceives her habits as trying to annoy him and go against his wishes. She just behaves as she normally does. He is now refusing to eat anything she cooks and pretty much ignoring her.

He says he didn’t realise that she would have an equal say in the household and thinks it should be just me and him controlling the home and everything else.

He now says I should ask my mother to move out as she is too painful to live with and interfering in our lives. He says we have no privacy, which is reasonably true. We do however have a babysitter on hand if we wanted to go out for alone time, which he doesn’t really ever want to do.

I don’t think it makes sense to kick her out when this is my home. It would be different if me and him got married or bought/ rented somewhere together and helped set my mother up somewhere nice. He wants her gone and now and is constantly moaning about her.

Am I being unreasonable to expect the living situation to stay as it is and he just get used to it?

Couldn’t vote because YABU not to kick him out! He got his feet under the table and now he’s trying to change everything to his liking. Get rid!

What a horrible man.

You wait till your 3 school age kids get a bit older and they're getting on his nerves. He'll want them out too.

Exactly, it makes me so sad to imagine my mother being insulted for a full year by a waste of space man

Some people are just congenitally miserable. He's living rent free with a wonderful woman, and with someone to help take the heavy burden of working , parenting and running a household.

I bet if you solve this non existent problem for him, he'll just find another non existent problem to suck you into his vortex of unhappiness. Free yourself and save your children from a poor role model.

This!

He moved into your home, knowing the set up ..... probably time he moved out ! If you had a happy functioning home before why should he be making demands ?

Pack his bags, put them on the doorstep and change the locks, he sounds a complete knobhead.

How can you stand to have this selfish cunt in your home? Get him out. Treasure your mum.

I’m frankly concerned that you think any of this is reasonable, or are at least questioning yourself. He’s so far beyond reasonable it’s almost funny. Except it’s not, because he’s a cunt.

Why have you tolerated this for so long ? I would never allow my Mother to be in such a horrible situation, she must be very uncomfortable. Boot him out.

This is so depressingly familiar. Post after post of women so desperate for a man that they’ll allow him to treat her family and her like shit. You know cos a controlling, self absorbed arsehole of a man is better than none in their view. Get some self respect and throw the twat out.

The ONLY person you should be kicking out is HIM!

Wtf
kick him out ,
cock lodger

Quite

I am one of the four per cent who voted that you are being unreasonable but that is because you haven’t kicked out this absolute dickhead of a partner.

If he only pays for himself then this is a good deal for him You do not need to charge him anything but in return he must obey the rules.

Tell him straight, just one more slur to your mother and he needs to leave. And mean it. Then it will be his choice…..

You are being unreasonable to even think about kicking your mother out.
Kick out the cocklodger. He seems to want a lot of control over your property and relationships.
When your kids become teenagers he will want them out as well.

🚩🚩🚩

He needs to go OP - not accept your mother is staying or go - just GO. I could not tolerate a man who bullied like this. He does not see this as your home OP - it's his kingdom now. This bodes very badly for the future of your family.

Your poor mum must hate the atmosphere. That’s awful.
if you kick your mum out then he would start on the kids next.
he sounds as if he’d ruin all of your lives.
please get rid of him.

30 pages of everyone telling you what a nasty bastard this man is OP. Please come back and tell us that you've been busy packing his bags, and waving him off!!

I really do feel sorry for your poor Mum, you and she obviously had a lovely life together, living in mutual respect until you brought this fake man to live with you. I say fake, because he made out that he was happy to move into your family home, with you, your children and your Mum, just to get his foot in the door, and then the next minute, he suddenly thinks he's in charge, and what I find even more shocking, is that you would even consider letting him kick your elderly Mum out! Shame on you if you let him do this OP. Just get rid of him, and if you want a man in your bed, go to his place in future, and give your family the security of knowing that you won't make a mistake like this again.

He seems like a real ass, childish, if he really truely loved you, he will love and respect your mum. Im sorry to say this but he sounds toxic. Family always comes 1st continue to love your mum and the only person that should move out is him...blessings to you and your family.

Hey OP, are you seeing a theme develop here?

he's not happy, is making things uncomfortable for you and your DM - why on earth is he still there?

Men do this.
They move into a home with a suitcase, then demand you obey and serve them.
He should be bending over backwards at his luck. He is saving so much money and now demands even more from you.

Drives me nuts when this happens!

Clearly they don't want an answer and they're not listening.

I wish I knew what the motivation was to post.