He wants me to kick my mum out

[Areyouhavingabubble2]

My elderly mother lives with me in my home (and has for the past 8 years) she does do some cooking and cleaning to help out. It’s my home, I own it and pay all the expenses.

I have 3 school age kids who live at home with me and my mother.

My partner moved into my home a year ago, knowing the full situation.
He has been permanently irritated by her since he moved in. He perceives her habits as trying to annoy him and go against his wishes. She just behaves as she normally does. He is now refusing to eat anything she cooks and pretty much ignoring her.

He says he didn’t realise that she would have an equal say in the household and thinks it should be just me and him controlling the home and everything else.

He now says I should ask my mother to move out as she is too painful to live with and interfering in our lives. He says we have no privacy, which is reasonably true. We do however have a babysitter on hand if we wanted to go out for alone time, which he doesn’t really ever want to do.

I don’t think it makes sense to kick her out when this is my home. It would be different if me and him got married or bought/ rented somewhere together and helped set my mother up somewhere nice. He wants her gone and now and is constantly moaning about her.

Am I being unreasonable to expect the living situation to stay as it is and he just get used to it?

This exactly. So glad my single mum never did this and our gran (her mum ) did live with us for a few years when I was in primary school and I LOVED it. If any man had come in and said she should be out I’d never have forgiven them.

Overall he sounds awful as well. Please raise the bar and have some respect for yourself and your children. What kind of example are you setting?

you’ve heard from many people who almost unanimously agree this man is a waste of time and space in your life. I can’t tell from your responses but I hope you are reflecting on this very seriously, beyond just the matter of whether your mum should stay or not and will be able to sort your head out so you don’t decide to settle for someone like this living with you ever again.

Out of all the questions from all the people who have offered advice, is that all you have to say?

He sounds awful op, a complete cock lodger. Is he paying anything towards the heating bills, the council tax, I bet he eats more than just his own ready meals, tea, coffee, snacks, does he contribute anything ? Who does he actually think he is, moved in a year and now considers it his own house. How dare he talk about your poor mother in this way. What do your children think of him ?

OP..I'm not hearing that you are taking on board what you are being advised. Why do you want him to stay?

Tell this awful man to leave, he does not deserve you or the kindness that both you and your mum have shown him. He is a bully.

Hope he is packing his bags!

You are unreasonable to let him leave in your house and make your mother feel
uncomfortable.

Should be live

He's a cheeky cocklodging cunt. Tell him to take himself to the far end of fuck and keep going. Who the hell does he think he is? You (and your mum) deserve so much better.

It would be a very cold day in hell when I tolerated anyone treating my mother like that. Let alone some cock lodging arsehole of a man.

I think he sounds the kind of person who would not be happy if your mum was forced out but would move onto another target to bully.
People who are irritated easily always find someone to be annoyed by.

This.

Seriously OP, it sounds as though you're going to sit back and wait for a decision to be made for you. Either he'll get fed up and leave, which, given he's on to a cushy number here, isn't very likely, or your poor mum will be unable to bear it any more. This nasty little cocklodger will have driven her from her home. And in the words of the Manic Street Preachers "If you tolerate this, then your children will be next..."

This is absolutely awful and I hope you can see that with all these responses.

So, you pay all expenses, cook and clean - and he does what exactly? Start to try and throw his weight around by telling you to kick your elderly DM out. If you go along with this then you are as awful as he is.

As everyone else has said - tell him to leave immediately.

I mean this with all kindness but is this really the most important issue?

You are living with an abusive man who is trying to prise your elderly mother out of her home and you are responding to questions with answers about his fucking sandwich preferences?

Wake up and deal with the reality of the situation please for your sake and that of your family.

I just can't wrap my head around you allowing this to go on. He literally contributes nothing positive. No man is that good in the sack.

why can't you kiss or snuggle in front of your mother in law?

You are nuts if you let this continue. You get what you deserve but your mother doesn't deserve this. Are you really that desperate for a man? He is using you. Down the line he will be telling you to give him a half share in your house. Your children will hate him and you for allowing it to happen and you will lose everything. All for a man in your bed. You should be ashamed.

Yep kick him out. Horrible bastard!

kick him out

Sorry, but THAT is the post you bother to respond to?!!

And in the words of the Manic Street Preachers "If you tolerate this, then your children will be next..."

This so bloody true, get rid OP

Show him the fucking door, you’ve only one Mum!

I'd have booted the so-called partner out after he tried ignoring my mum and complaining for the 1st time.

It seems like you are saying longs as he pipes down and accepts your mother living there you're happy for him to stay and will continue the relationship. See, to me he's shown his true colours and you should seriously consider asking him to leave. It sounds like he contributes very little and is causing a lot of ill feeling. He was nice about it all before he moved in but is now throwing his weight around? Nah, your place your rules and that's your mum!

He knew the situation, maybe he should move out

this -he knew the set up before moving in.
YANBU, as it's your mum's home too.
Edit to add if he's refusing to eat anything she makes etc, that's just nasty shit behaviour and I wouldn't be able to put up with that.