To think this was inappropriate?

[NoCoat]

We’ve just had someone come up to us as we’re getting our 2 year old into the car to be told that we need to think of our child as it is -5 degrees (it’s actually 3 degrees but not really the point) and they’re not wearing a coat or socks and she is a social worker and couldn’t not say something… we have literally just come out of a warm shopping centre and their shoes and coat are clearly under the pram and they had a blanket that they have put behind them. I thought you were supposed to put children in the car seat without coats on anyway??

You forced the word 'literally' in for no reason so you lost my interest immediately.

No coat fine. No shoes definitely not. And a 5YO I would trust to regulate. 2YOs are daft and don’t always know what’s good for them. Not remotely comparable IMO.

Not sure why you are even posting about this tbh. You are obviously happy with your parenting so why do you need to then question it? Just ignore the lady and carry on.

Good for her for saying something - I can't understand why you didn't put his/her socks on before you left the warmth of the shopping centre?.

I'll never forget my childminder bringing my son home in the pram in this weather - just in his baby grow, no blanket or bootees. His feet were like blocks of ice, I was furious.

My daughter hated socks so I bought tights to go under her trousers. You can get little boys ones as well. The coat I wouldn't be too bothered about as it's really unsafe for a child to wear a coat in the carseat. You can always put a blanket over them once they are buckled in.

None of her bloody business! My child would always take his socks and shoes off at that age. In fact he would strip off completely on occasion 😂😂 I would have been infuriated in your situation

I don’t wear socks, even in the coldest weather as I can’t stand them! You said your DC had a blanket. I would ignore this “social worker”. You’d just come out from a shopping centre, you had a blanket and she was getting into a warm car.
don’t stress x

Children can't advocate for themselves. Better adults say something than nothing. Maybe your kid was ok, but the next might not be. All you had to do was politely explain the reason.

Social worker here....my response would have been to ask if she had any of her own children as she seems to have poorly risk assessed the situation! Missing items of warm clothing was to hand and will go on the child if needed. Secondly fuck off and go help all the children on your case load that is not getting your attention as you are wasting your time with me!

A short trip from the shop to the car with no socks on isn’t going to kill the child.

Mine kept chucking his gloves off in similar temperatures. He wasn’t upset by the fact that his hands were cold. He didn’t get ill or die.

what exactly do people think the harm is here?

She meant well. I wonder how many children have suffered because we looked the other way and.minded our own business.

I feel your pain with the sock situation. Today my two year old took her shoes and socks off while we were in Aldi. No problem as we were inside.
However she then refused to put them on including the socks. I wasn't going to have it turn in to a full tantrum because I wanted her to have shoes and socks on for the 30 second walk back to the car where we would then have the heater on.

I'd ignore this person and think nothing more of it.

Yanbu that's really inappropriate.

@NoCoat their shoes and coat are clearly under the pram and they had a blanket that they have put behind them
If that was my child, the blanket would have been tucked around my child when we went from the warmth of the shopping centre to the cold outside.

However, I'm more concerned about posters here apparently saying that people should never interfere when they feel uncomfortable about how a child is being treated.

In a situation like this, how do you know if you're speaking to a parent who looks after their child properly, or if you're speaking to a parent who is neglecting their child?

People usually just want to help and their instinct is to look after the most vulnerable - i.e. children. And that's the way the world should work - so please don't take offence because someone is just trying to look out for a child's welfare

You’re right, it’s not safe to put them in a car seat with coats and bulky clothes on. Shocks me how many times I see this. And kids take socks off all the time. If you are going from somewhere warm and getting them straight in the car then I don’t see the problem. I do the same and my little one is fine. I put a blanket on him once he is in the car and get the heating on and we are good to go. Social worker or not, it’s not necessary to comment when she doesn’t know the full picture

If a stranger comes up to me and tells me they are “insert person of authority” I always ask for proof because so many people lie. You are not wrong children shouldn’t have coats on I a car seat.

No social worker would actually say this. Just a busy body making her feelings known.

The child didn’t have a coat whilst getting into the car, it’s hardly ‘ how dare people see a child with bruises and welts and didn’t say anything’.

I hope going off the comment everytime you see a rough as arsed mom scream at their kids in the street you go up to said mother and feel it’s your duty to point out the abuse.

@NoCoat i haven’t been wearing socks this week!
I’ve been wearing little shoes.
I’ve not walked far! Car - shop - car - office
I tend not to wear a coat because it’s too damn hot inside with one on and I’m taking 20 steps outside so don’t really need it!

if your child is warm enough, they are fine.
some people are precious for precious sake with an overwhelming desire to follow daft rules for rules sake !! With a greater concern that they might be judged by a stranger than actually what is best for their child!

the number of times I walked out of a supermarket with a small pair of socks sticking out the back pocket of my jeans is uncountable! They’d start with them on and be off within minutes! - just simply not worth the effort if they’re staying in the trolley.

the child has a blanket in the car and is presumably safely restrained in their car seat and not in a padded coat, which (for the benefit of the judgy people!) could cause life threatening injuries if you had a bump.

you do you OP! There’s nothing wrong with what you’re doing.

@fourlambbhunas

you wrote Why don't you put her in the pram.

I think it was you that had been drinking!

If you were wearing a coat and socks, maybe your child might need them too?

@MrsR87

people get confused when someone uses common sense!!

When my son was small he would not keep socks or shoes on. Some mum in Waitrose had a go at me. I said if you’re so clever you put them on him. He’s 38 now and still goes barefoot whenever he can.

Did you also have your coat and socks off? Would you have in 3 degree weather?! I certainly wouldn’t. Yes, no puffy coats in car seats but that doesn’t mean they go without, even if it is just that couple of minute walk to the car from a shop. It’s FREEZING. I have a car coat for my daughter which is a thin zip up fleece type thing and then her big coat which we do a mega fast swap over of at the car door. And no shoes/socks!!! I don’t even want my DD without socks at home in this current weather!
Thinks it’s good this woman has the balls to come and speak to you, hopefully you’ll listen to this thread too.

Clearly not a social worker or she'd know it dangerous to put a coat on in the car seat.

Also taking a short walk from the shop to the car is not going to harm them especially with the blanket come on people!