Is it me or are school being petty?

[stilllivingoutofboxes]

I know there's been a few articles on here recently about school standards and this definitely isn't a school/teacher bashing question. But I'm just wondering why there seems to be massive differences in expectations between schools in terms of uniform rules, etc.

For context, we moved house at Christmas. Children are at new schools, youngest 2 girls at primary and eldest daughter in Y8 at a 'good' high school. Primary school seems to be fine, and girls are happy and settled. Eldest on the other hand seems to be having trouble meeting the standards of the new secondary school, having been managing well at her previous school.

She's had uniform detentions twice already this term for her uniform not meeting the required standards. And it's (to me) seemingly petty things. Like the fact that her shirt will come untucked during the day and she'll get told off for it showing from under her jumper. So she'll tuck it back in, but later in the day it might happen again. Or the fact that she seems to keep having tie issues. The tie has a logo which must show just below the knot of the tie. She's just about mastered tying the tie to make that happen. But then she'll get told off because the tie has slipped down and the logo has gone below her jumper and can't be seen.

I don't know what to do really. She'll leave the house looking smart, but then by the nature of her being quite an active child it obviously becomes less smart during the day. And I'm concerned that she'll start to become paranoid about it.

It depends. If the other kids aren’t getting detention then your dd must be an outlier. IME ties don’t slip during the day. Shirts can get untucked after running around but not by themselves in a history lesson. It may be that she needs the next size of shirt if she can’t tuck it in.

Ties on 12 year olds is fucking ridiculous for a start.

How is her tie slipping if done properly? That makes no sense?

when she stands up she needs to take a second to make sure her shirt is tucked in.

whether you like it or not that’s the rules and both are pretty easy to keep to.

It is petty. But that's the approach some schools take to manage behaviour. It's a zero tolerance policy on all sorts of nonsense rules, the idea being that having an absolute iron fist on discipline is the best approach.

It wouldn't have worked for me as a child. I wouldn't want it for my DC.

There's not much you can do though if that's the school you've chosen. Maybe get her a longer shirt as pp suggested? Help her get into a routine with her tie? Get her to ask her friends how they do their tie to avoid this problem?

Sew her tie up with the logo in the right place, then cut the back of the neck loop and put in velcro or a bra type fastener. That won't show under her shirt collar.

Sounds like a zero tolerance school.

Some parents love them some hate them.

I agree tbh. It does take some adjustments. Out school is super strict, but life is about having to meet required standards, whether that be at school, home or work.

All you should be doing is encouraging her to ensure she is doing her best to meet the requirements

Or is she very slim and the shirt doesn't stay in the waistband?

These sorts of petty rules drive me nuts!

And ties should be abolished for schoolchildren

Buy longer shirt and Windsor knot for the tie
https://www.ties.com/how-to-tie-a-tie/windsor

Absolutely ridiculous! so petty!

To my eye she doesn't look any different to how she did at her previous school. In fact if anything she's smarter because she used to wear the top button undone and tie slightly loosened before because she found it more comfortable, whereas now she has to have the top button fastened during the day and just undoes it when she gets home from school.

She'll get used to checking her shirt is tucked in. Does sound like she could do with a longer one though.

School definitely being ridiculously petty. Tues for school kids should be abolished - and a logo on the tie in the right place? That’s crazy. This country seriously needs to get over itself when it comes to uniform.

If a tie is tied in the morning with the logo in the right place, there's no way it can move. So I really don't understand what's happening here.

Since they got a new head a few years ago Our DD’s secondary do uniform checks when the children come into school and at any point during the day.
It’s rediculous, teachers should be spending their time teaching not looking at whether a tie is done correctly.
Particularly since core subjects such as maths have seen a massive decline in results since this head took over. Teachers have left and as a parent I’ve seen a sharp decline in communication from the school regarding important matters such a subject choice coursing days and exam information etc.
However they are quick enough to text or phone you to say your child’s tie was covered by a jumper/cardigan. (It’s minus 6 here ! )

Ties on children are ridiculous a nice jumper/cardigan with trousers/skirt.
my DD school are really strict she got a demerit as her skirt was too short it’s the smallest size they do in the school shop they have to have a logo on them so now she has a bigger skirt that has been taken in the pleats don’t sit right all for obeying the rules

Tie knots don’t slip down. If it’s moved, it’s because the wearer moved it.

YANBU My sons school is equally as pathetic.
The time spent policing tucked in shirts is a joke, I'm sure there are more important things for the teachers to get excited about but the shirt and ties win every time.
I just wonder if the years studying for the job could really prepare them for being uniform police, do they go home and think what a productive day they've had.

Couldn't agree with you more!

My children have to wear a proper tie from
KS2. Age bloody 7.

Local authority run state primary.

It's absolutely insane.

I will never, ever accept this shit from a school. I would be in there, in the teachers faces, make it clear that they will not be “detaining” or punishing my child for such things and demanding their do their statutory duty which is to educate my child.

I would complain, complain, report, report, report and physically go into the school and take my child if they tried another detention for anything like it.

they would back down very quickly and would wish they had never messed with my child. These sad sack teachers and head teachers are only brave when it comes to dealing with kids and when they think nobody is watching.

My kids had to wear them from reception! On PE days they came out of school looking comical. But by year 1 they could do their own ties.

Who gives a fuck?

Absolutely ridiculous of the school.

And why oh why are schools still wanting to dress kids like mini business people from the 80s? The world has moved on. Even business people don’t dress like this anymore!!!

Poor kids.

@fluffypurpleheadphones mine had to wear them from reception. Most started with ones on elastic but honestly, what’s the point. If I as a woman went to work in a tie people would think I was making some kind of statement. I agree they should be smart and shirts tucked in but ties are so bizarre as a uniform item. I don’t like blazers either. Smart trousers/skirt with shirt and cardigan or jumper with logo is fine imo. However, you have to conform to school and life is easier if you follow the rules.