Is it me or are school being petty?

[stilllivingoutofboxes]

I know there's been a few articles on here recently about school standards and this definitely isn't a school/teacher bashing question. But I'm just wondering why there seems to be massive differences in expectations between schools in terms of uniform rules, etc.

For context, we moved house at Christmas. Children are at new schools, youngest 2 girls at primary and eldest daughter in Y8 at a 'good' high school. Primary school seems to be fine, and girls are happy and settled. Eldest on the other hand seems to be having trouble meeting the standards of the new secondary school, having been managing well at her previous school.

She's had uniform detentions twice already this term for her uniform not meeting the required standards. And it's (to me) seemingly petty things. Like the fact that her shirt will come untucked during the day and she'll get told off for it showing from under her jumper. So she'll tuck it back in, but later in the day it might happen again. Or the fact that she seems to keep having tie issues. The tie has a logo which must show just below the knot of the tie. She's just about mastered tying the tie to make that happen. But then she'll get told off because the tie has slipped down and the logo has gone below her jumper and can't be seen.

I don't know what to do really. She'll leave the house looking smart, but then by the nature of her being quite an active child it obviously becomes less smart during the day. And I'm concerned that she'll start to become paranoid about it.

I choose to send my children to a school where the uniform policy is enforced, because I want them to be eductated alongside the children of other parents who are happy with a uniform being enforced. I’m willing to bet that these children are less disruptive, entitled and rude than the children of parents who will get ‘in the face’ of teachers about school rules.

It sounds like the school is ‘sweating the small stuff’. It means that if they are hot on the small things like uniform infringements, then they’re laying the groundwork for better behaviour and attitudes across the school. It means that violence, bullying, sexualised behaviour much much less likely to occur. This makes things safer and happier for your child and for other children, some of whom may be introverted, vulnerable or have SEN. I’m always pleased to hear parents talk about this, even though parents might think it’s silly or petty, it’s a positive sign about the school’s overall approach. There are schools that take a relaxed approach and given that all young people push the boundaries, it can mean that behaviour sinks over time to the lowest common denominator.

I absolutely disagree. It seems the worst schools in our area go OTT on school uniform as its easy to control, the kids dont even make it past the gate with the wrong shoes on (that were fine last year). The bullying and violence they don't seem to be able to manage but at least the kids have the perfect black shoes on.

I do think there is a good balance, my DCs school are fairly strict but are really reasonable in their approach. Blatantly not wearing uniform is not OK but they aren't ridiculous and certainly don't send kids home. They had to wear proper ties from reception, at first they taught them how to loosen and put them over their heads, all of them could do their own ties and laces by end of reception (they had to wear rugby/football boots which had laces). I'm not sure there is much excuse for a 12 yo struggling with a tie unless they are ND. Ties don't really move much so that does sound like an excuse.