Is it me or are school being petty?

[stilllivingoutofboxes]

I know there's been a few articles on here recently about school standards and this definitely isn't a school/teacher bashing question. But I'm just wondering why there seems to be massive differences in expectations between schools in terms of uniform rules, etc.

For context, we moved house at Christmas. Children are at new schools, youngest 2 girls at primary and eldest daughter in Y8 at a 'good' high school. Primary school seems to be fine, and girls are happy and settled. Eldest on the other hand seems to be having trouble meeting the standards of the new secondary school, having been managing well at her previous school.

She's had uniform detentions twice already this term for her uniform not meeting the required standards. And it's (to me) seemingly petty things. Like the fact that her shirt will come untucked during the day and she'll get told off for it showing from under her jumper. So she'll tuck it back in, but later in the day it might happen again. Or the fact that she seems to keep having tie issues. The tie has a logo which must show just below the knot of the tie. She's just about mastered tying the tie to make that happen. But then she'll get told off because the tie has slipped down and the logo has gone below her jumper and can't be seen.

I don't know what to do really. She'll leave the house looking smart, but then by the nature of her being quite an active child it obviously becomes less smart during the day. And I'm concerned that she'll start to become paranoid about it.

I'm not a fan of uniform, particularly strictly enforced ones, but where I live you can't easily "choose" a secondary school. The secondaries here are so oversubscribed that there is virtually no choice unless you live on the doorstep of your particular school or send your child miles across the city to a poorly performing school.

I wish people would stop saying you chose the school so abide by their rules. It's not always possible!

Birmingham suburb.

Are they allowed clip on ties? Our high school has them and they're brill.

I always assume calm schools had clip on ties as safer and all look identical. Issue solved

Assumed all had rather. Ours is all clip on. Unless they break and you can tie them. But safety wise proper ties make no sense.. esp when earrings now allowed

to be fair, your DD's uniform sounds very nice indeed!

So you would be "in the teachers faces" (sic) over a teacher disciplining your child because they were not wearing their uniform correctly? What sort of person are you and what are you teaching your children? There are rules in every walk of life that are not actually laws but still recognised as a rule.

I fully understand the concept of a school uniform, and I think they're a great idea, however they need to be practical and comfortable. Shirts, ties, blazers etc. are a bit ridiculous, there's no need.

Teachers are amazing, but schools as a whole are a bit too far behind in terms of this kind of thing to be honest, stuffy, uncomfortable uniforms aren't helping anyone. We used to have to ask to take off blazers and jumpers in summer at school, we had to ask the teacher who had breezed in in a floaty sundress or a short sleeve shirt 🙄 sometimes they even said no!

My daughters primary is a polo shirt and cardi school, and then whatever on the bottom as long as it's black or grey. Easy, affordable, comfortable and hard-wearing. For secondary, polos and plain leggings, black jeans or joggers are perfectly fine imo.

I think I love you a bit @Westernesse I wish I had your balls! School uniform pisses me off at certain times of the year when the temperatures are at extremes and they are enforced to wear either too hot or too cold clothes. And never mind ties, bloody tights for girls, the most uncomfortable clothes item invented in my opinion!

But I don't have the mindset to be checking these things every 5 minutes.

Your daughter needs to learn that mindset, or she'll keep getting detentions

It takes seconds to check

Punishing a child because their shirt isn’t tucked in or because the logo on a tie isn’t exactly where it should be is depraved. Support for such actions is depraved.

school uniform has its place bit never at the expense of education or a child’s wellbeing.

got it?

Tough shit. Don’t use unlawful rules to mistreat my kids and there will be no problem.

cheat on the tie, get it altered so there's a snap at the back and the logo is always in the right spot.
make sure the jumper is long enough and the shirt short enough, again alterations are you friend.

Yeah it's petty. Schools seem to have spent the last ten years getting stricter about clothes while at the same time all workplaces that don't have a designated uniform have become much more relaxed. It's bizarre.

This. You've chosen the school and those are their rules. Like PP said other children can manage it. It's not really about the uniform, it's about following rules, being meticulous and disciplined etc. That's kinda the whole point.

If you choose to send your child to a school with uniform rules what’s the point of complaining?

Where do you live that there is a choice? Dd was offered her catchment school and didn’t get into her other preferences. The only other option was homeschooling or private for those with means or some kind or academic / sporting ability. She changed to private in year 9.

Change schools to where? We didn’t pick a school. The schools we picked are oversubscribed as was the allocated school. This we put last on the application as is advised to always put catchment school as an option.

You're really setting up your kids to fail with this attitude

It's petty, ridiculous and exactly the reason I moved from being very pro school uniform to wishing for it to be abolished.

Soooo 1950s, and such bollocks.

My kids at state primary had to wear a proper tie from reception and even the 4 year olds seemed to manage after a week or so.

I could not be arsed with this, I'd move her now, can guarantee if you have actual issues that need addressing such as bullying school will be useless 🙄

Good lord you sound immature and a poor example to your child.

It's about teaching the child that how they physically oresent themselves has an impact on how they are percieved in preparation for the work place.

Is she overweight? That's tgd only thing I can think of if she's not untucking herself.

I'd wager that, as she's in y8, she's adjusting her uniform to how she wants it to look and getting into trouble for that. I remember doing it myself.

School rules are school rules. She won't come to too much harm by abiding by them imho.

I’d tell her to take responsibility for making sure her shirt is tucked in and her tie is in the right place. It’s really not a massive ask tbh, I don’t think it’s a bad thing children are expected to take responsibility for something as basic as their own school uniform.

There was a thread on here where someones 3/4 yr old made their own bed and put their clothes in the correct basket and you would think it was child abuse from the hysteria on here as opposed to decent parenting and building independence.

Personally I do think ties are pointless but if DD’s school insisted on it I would shrug and crack on.

Really? I think the next generation should fight back more against the establishment. 50 years ago both pupils and staff all had long hair regardless of sex, it didn’t detract from our education one jot.

My dd was always in trouble for her shirt not being tucked in. She was and is a petite, skinny thing whose skirt waist was always a bit loose and shirts just could not be held in.
The schools that focus on such petty rules are usually run by minor megalomaniacs imo.

That sounds like a great idea. 🌹