To never ever buy from Snag again?

[NotMyTights]

I'm just beyond disgusted and feel I need to vent.

I've always liked snag tights. I bought vouchers to save them in Lockdown, have spent hundreds with them. Liked their products and ethos- inclusive and female led.

Yesterday I went on their website, can definitely say it's my fault that I clicked on their NSFW collection, but I didn't expect what I found. Patches saying ' chke me' and 'cMSL*t'. Maybe I'm just a pearl clutching prude but I found these really offensive and not what I expect from a company with their ethos. I've put a pic below.

I posted in their Facebook group which I'm on highlighting that I thought this was a misjudgement on their part, that these were very misogynistic, and fed into a culture of violence against women which claims the life of a woman or girl every 11 minutes.

They declined my post and sent me a reply which I'll attach- I'm kink shaming apparently.

I find this really reprehensible and never want to spend a penny with them again!

I never thought I was prudish, whatever adults do between themselves is up to them, but I don't really want to buy from a clothing provider who is promoting this- aibu!?

I mean..totally agree.

At 21 I would have absolutely worn something like that, fully on display for shock factor.

Now I am 40 and simply do not give a flying fuck about the male gaze.

@Bibbidybobbidyroo hmm I'm guessing a lot of middle aged mums like comfy tights though. I know loads who buy them.

They've posted an official response to this thread on their Instagram, I've just seen it. Apparently we're all kink-shaming.

They are of course free to feel that way, just as I am free never to buy their stuff again and never recommend or suggest them to anyone. I had previously just ignored the NSFW section as not relevant to me, but those badges, particularly the choke one, are just not on.

And not just that, apparently this "kink shaming" is in the same category as shaming someone's race and ability. Geez, the delusion. And frankly, an insult to anyone who experienced shaming based on innate characteristics like our skin colour or how able bodied we are.

I wasn't aware of this thread or the very existence of NSFW Snag, I found out because their response just popped up in my feed. Well that's me done with Snag. They're overrated and overpriced for the quality anyway.

Fuck me, the rage I feel about that Instagram post.

Men who are sexually aroused by choking woman should be shamed.

women who ostenibly give consent need therapy to resolve whatever previously male violence make them relive the experience of violence

Everyone feels differently but can honestly say it doesn't bother me - I actually find it slightly offensive that people think if you're into choking (as a woman consensually) then you need therapy? The Snag section is literally labelled NSFW, it is for Adults only. It is explicitly for this type of material which many people are not adverse to and that is the fact of the matter. No one is forced to buy those patches and not many are likely to wear it in public - it is more likely for private use or 'sexy functions'.

@Catsandthecradle if it was a man who
was being choked I’d also be stuffed to not he checked himself in for some solid therapy

usually the woman being choked though isn’t it? Funny that. Why do think that is?

Do you have stats for that?

@Hmmmmaybe That's a broad stroke, there are plenty of men who are into consensual choking.

I am not denying traumatic experiences for anyone who this has happened to without consent. But many people are into BDSM consensually and it does not mean there is anything deeply psychologically wrong with you.

Good. Bring back kink shaming. People can do what they want in private spaces, but I don't believe I'm alone in being tired of people trying to horrify the public with their puerile preferences.

Have we any evidence ANY of this is in public?

Any of these badges spotted in the local Tesco?

Didnt think so.

Well, since you ask (and answer, for some reason?), the metro had a tweet about the public being 'fisted' by the weather lately, for example. So yes, the porn imagery is seeping out into public life where it's extremely difficult for people to avoid, if they want to.

There's no "safe" when it comes to choking. It's a huge risk and is an indicator that harm is likely. Look at the We Can't Consent To This website for more details about it.

Nevermind, found it now! My phone was having a moment.

But how is that directly linked to products sold on a NSFW adult site?

It isnt.

Porn imagery in public is not new, not even in the slightest.

I applaud them for that response. Many would and do go off on the deep end and take followers with them, but they've been polite, explained their side and left it open. Neither side has to agree with each other. It's ok to not agree, and I think some of their followers on the comments section need to realise this.

You can have an opinion, accept others have theirs and peacefully coexist in that knowledge.

Have they been polite?

It's very corporate. The comments section their rep is less polite. I do think that when they say they are open to discussion they mean they want to railroad people into agreeing with them though.

I don't understand why they, as a supposedly women positive company, would condone sexual violence.

I should think they have a stock response to this kind of thing, and no interest whatsoever beyond enjoying the free publicity.

They are a business, not a public service. They want to sell what people will buy 🤷‍♀️.

Plenty of people will buy this stuff, some more will buy it now because they weren’t aware of it being sold there before. A few people will stop buying from there, but the majority won’t care either way and will continue to buy or not as they usually do.

Their disdain at mumsnet is dripping with misogyny

Dear Brie (CEO of Snag)

I have read your response with interest and was open- minded.
I was always open to discussion- remember it was the snag team who silenced discussion when I tried to raise this, leading me to post on Mumsnet.

I'm not a TERF, or middle aged, or not aware of BDSM. Not that frankly being middle aged and vanilla should preclude me from your 'inclusive' brand. I'm a relatively young professional mum of a daughter who wants a better world for her.
I think it is a tragedy that you are doubling down on creating a more dangerous one for yours.

I want to try and keep this succinct and I'm going to try not to repeat previous points I have made on the thread itself.

I think your post has demonstrated how out of touch you are; to compare the harms inflicted by racism with kink-shaming has just served to horrify me further!

Some of the comments serve my point really- 'choking is so mainstream now', 'its harmless'.

You also emphasise consent only after the fact in the Instagram post, but seem to suggest that having this badge implies consent or is a way to seek that type of activity, which shows poor understanding of consent which is time and act specific, and can be removed at any time.

If reading wecantconsenttothis.uk/ doesn't give you perspective, nothing will.

I said I supported your business enthusiastically and liked that it was female led, but I can't support it blindly when it shares misogynistic items and still claims to be inclusive. I have repeatedly said the problem is that these patches are at odds with your reported ethos, where everyone feels safe. Some brave women have shared why these make them feel unsafe.

However now I understand your ethos. It's to stir up controversy to peddle your wares! You actually don't care about any's feelings or inclusivity - there's no room to dissent from Snag.

I hope you are able to be more reflective however I think given the lack of insight shown on your Instagram post that is unlikely. It's not bullying to post why I won't be supporting a company, and I think use of that emotive language was designed to stimulate sympathy. I'm not judging individuals for their kinks- I'm judging your marketing tactics!

With that I re-state that I don't feel I can support you company with any further purchases. Your brand does not align with my values.

Excellent response @NotMyTights

👏👏

Also Brie if you're reading this and think we've been scathing, do pop over to Tattle and have a read.