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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband has put an apple airtag in my car!

955 replies

ZeeB68 · 17/01/2024 16:50

Don't know if I Abu or not but my husband has gone abroad for 3 weeks for his brothers wedding and left me at home with the kids, our youngest is only 13 weeks old.
He's been gone since Sunday evening and today as I had just arrived back from doing the school run dropping off my older 2 children I had an tracker alert on my phone that says an airtag tracker has been detected and it showed me every where I had been that morning on the map. I was very confused at first as I didn't know what it was as i didnt know what an apple airtag was up until a few days ago, when my husband bought some to put in his suitcases before travelling, I know it 100% in my car, one because it showed everywhere I'd been that morning, and when I pressed " play sound" I could hear it beeping inside the back of my car! He's obviously hidden in it the day before he travelled when he went to fill my car up with petrol before he left.
I'm just so upset and don't know why. Surely if it was for safety with him being away from home he would have told me before putting it in there?
He doesn't know I know, I'm pretty sure he also doesn't know that my phone would detect it and give me an alert. I haven't said anything to him yet, I don't know what to say.
Aibu to think he is spying on me and tracking me or could it really be he's thinking about safety? But then I just think he would have said something. I'm really upset about it all knowing he's hid a tracker in the back of my car.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
Ulysees · 14/09/2024 15:39

@EveryonesMother who planted that?

AnneKipankitoo · 14/09/2024 15:46

Thanks @EveryonesMother

Mysanthea · 14/09/2024 15:55

@EveryonesMother I hope you are OK.

OP too.

EveryonesMother · 14/09/2024 16:03

Ulysees · 14/09/2024 15:39

@EveryonesMother who planted that?

My partner

AnneKipankitoo · 14/09/2024 16:10

Hope you are ok @EveryonesMother

Mysanthea · 14/09/2024 16:14

That's a good point. If you have an apple phone it will alert you if it's moving round with an unpaired tag. But if your phone is Android, is there any way to get alerted that an apple tag is following you around, or vice versa?

PolePrince55 · 14/09/2024 16:32

Or it on him.
He's watching you so he knows he's clear.

Reigateforever · 14/09/2024 16:43

DadJoke · Today 14:02
He hid the tracker to spy on his wife while he and the rest of the family were in another country at a big family celebration, living it up with everyone and sending spectacular photos, while she was left to look after the children and a baby.

AnneKipankitoo · 14/09/2024 16:51

Mysanthea · 14/09/2024 16:14

That's a good point. If you have an apple phone it will alert you if it's moving round with an unpaired tag. But if your phone is Android, is there any way to get alerted that an apple tag is following you around, or vice versa?

Yes. WikiHow has advice for Android.( not sure if it is for an Apple Air tag or if Android have a tag)
You can only use Apple with Apple. Just checked.

SalviaDivinorum · 14/09/2024 17:22

He’s been tracking you for months to your certain knowledge and you still don’t know why and still have the thing in your car.

Is there a reason you can’t safely leave as I would find this totally unacceptable?

Suzuki70 · 14/09/2024 17:25

So...you just shrug and accept it as one of those things? Wow.

Balloonhearts · 14/09/2024 17:29

Does he have an attractive brother? Stash it in his front garden.

Then go nuclear on the entitled emotionally abusive prick.

AnneKipankitoo · 14/09/2024 17:30

I have only noticed that the OP originally posted in January 2024.

Scirocco · 14/09/2024 18:06

AnneKipankitoo · 14/09/2024 17:30

I have only noticed that the OP originally posted in January 2024.

In her follow up today, she seems to still have both the husband and the airtag.

angelikacpickles · 14/09/2024 23:09

Mysanthea · 14/09/2024 16:14

That's a good point. If you have an apple phone it will alert you if it's moving round with an unpaired tag. But if your phone is Android, is there any way to get alerted that an apple tag is following you around, or vice versa?

I have an Android and it alerts me about Apple AirTags - there is one in DH's car so if I drive it I get an alert.

Mamasperspective · 15/09/2024 00:02

Shame you don't have a friend who is travelling, I would be sending the AirTag on a tour!

MauveLeader · 15/09/2024 00:51

I think I would keep the tracker in and show me driving to the solicitors and then the estate agents.

Abi86 · 15/09/2024 01:21

Planesmistakenforstars · 14/09/2024 10:52

So the tracker has gone now, right?

"So, the husband has gone now, right?" Fixed for you

Freebumblebee · 15/09/2024 02:22

I’ve never been stalked (to my knowledge) but I can tell you that men like this never get better. The fact that you’ve just accepted that this tracker will remain in your car is insane. Expect that the minute you remove it, you’ll get “it’s been in there months, why do you want to remove it now? What’s changed that you’re trying to hide?” Get the hell rid of this controlling bastard. You are teaching your children to put up with this appalling behaviour from men.

DadJoke · 15/09/2024 11:32

Reigateforever · 14/09/2024 16:43

DadJoke · Today 14:02
He hid the tracker to spy on his wife while he and the rest of the family were in another country at a big family celebration, living it up with everyone and sending spectacular photos, while she was left to look after the children and a baby.

I had thought it was a live thread and was giving practical advice, but I see from OP’s post it wasn’t relevant. But I guess the potential affair is wrong.

LordyMe · 15/09/2024 13:05

How about putting an AirTag in his car?

AnneKipankitoo · 15/09/2024 13:57

DadJoke · 15/09/2024 11:32

I had thought it was a live thread and was giving practical advice, but I see from OP’s post it wasn’t relevant. But I guess the potential affair is wrong.

Show quote history

It is still practical advice. Someone reading it might need it.

AcrossthePond55 · 15/09/2024 20:22

@ZeeB68

Oh love I'm so sorry, but you are so deeply bogged down with the effects of his abuse that you can't really see the forest for the trees.

Do you want to end your marriage? You don't have to answer me. Just think about it. Because there will be a way out, you just have to find it.

Carelour · 09/11/2024 23:11

Here's something - what if it's not your husband who put it in your car and you're being targeted? Maybe someone saw you drop your husband at the airport and took advantage of a few moments when you were distracted unloading luggage your car was unlocked? Either way, I would remove it immediately and place it somewhere else away from your family home - but where you can retrieve it later in case you need to make a police report. Either way, you'll need to have an honest and open conversation with your husband when he comes home from his trip.

HeadacheEarthquake · 10/11/2024 12:08

Carelour · 09/11/2024 23:11

Here's something - what if it's not your husband who put it in your car and you're being targeted? Maybe someone saw you drop your husband at the airport and took advantage of a few moments when you were distracted unloading luggage your car was unlocked? Either way, I would remove it immediately and place it somewhere else away from your family home - but where you can retrieve it later in case you need to make a police report. Either way, you'll need to have an honest and open conversation with your husband when he comes home from his trip.

I have a feeling he may have returned

9 months ago