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AIBU?

Man on school run

336 replies

Frisps · 16/01/2024 11:36

I see a man every morning on the school run and he stares at me. Like a really intense look and what I can only describe as an ‘evil’ sort of angry glare look on his face. I’ve no idea why. Never spoke to him, never had any issue. He doesn’t know me or anyone I know on the school run. His children are in a different year group to mine so there is no issues there. I just always see him every morning. The first few times he did it I just smiled but now I keep trying to avoid eye contact when I go past him but I can tell he’s still doing it as I feel his eyes on me as I go past. I did think I was being paranoid but I’m definitely not. the last couple of days he’s also walked past my car when I’ve been parked and I’ve been sat in it minding my own business. I’ve looked out my windscreen and then as he’s passed my window I’ve felt his eyes on me so looked and he’s staring at me like that whilst looking into my car window at me as he passes. I’m starting to feel quite annoyed and intimidated by this. What would you do?

OP posts:
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Leyenda · 16/01/2024 13:30

Ps sorry to see so much victim-blaming on the thread. Sigh…

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HowToSaveAWife · 16/01/2024 13:32

I'd have to ask. Stare back at him, unblinking, and ask him if there's a problem. Sometimes you need to confront the issue head on... Or just keep staring back and out-crazy the crazy.

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Greycottage · 16/01/2024 13:34

Only explanation I can think of is you mount the pavement to park your car every day (bonus points it’s a massive SUV). I expect you have accidentally pulled up while he & his child are walking past before. This has happened to me too many times to count on the school run, and I would glare (or say to my child “look xyz, this silly person is trying to knock us down with their car. They must have forgotten what a pavement is” etc).

Could be a case of mistaken identity, especially if you drive a popular car. But if he’s looking at your car and how you are parked, I assume it’s that.

Unless he is just a weirdo.

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tara66 · 16/01/2024 13:35

Not read many PP but why don't you just catch your elbow on the horn for a loud toot just when he's nearest - to give him a fright? And see what he does next time?

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BingoMarieHeeler · 16/01/2024 13:36

I would be doing exactly the same back to him tbh and then continue on living my best life. What an oddball!

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Megifer · 16/01/2024 13:36

Some of these replies tho with bizarre excuses.....🤣

Maybe, the guy has an unfortunate face, or maybe he does like to dish out dirty looks for whatever reason, thats not a crime or even noteworthy on its own. So best course of action here is surely to just ignore??

I don't think "op is intimidated by this so best idea is to march up to him and ask him what his issue is" will help so much with the feeling intimidated?

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Terrribletwos · 16/01/2024 13:38

Just stare right back until they look away. That's what I do 😶

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SinnerBoy · 16/01/2024 13:38

Leyenda · Today 13:29

I’d assume he’s a bit psycho and definitely not interact with him in any way or make any kind of eye contact with him. Definitely do not smile at him. You don’t want to interact with whatever delusion/ fantasy world he’s running.

Maybe not, but it certainly seems like a strong possibility; why risk winding him up, so that he can pretend that he's justified in reacting nastily?

I agree with the PPs who said to ask around a bit, he may be entirely harmless and just have a disturbing face. Or he could be a known nutter.

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BingoMarieHeeler · 16/01/2024 13:39

I feel bad for his kids! (Assuming he’s on the school run because he has them!)

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Greycottage · 16/01/2024 13:40

Leyenda · 16/01/2024 13:30

Ps sorry to see so much victim-blaming on the thread. Sigh…

Oh come on, this is the wrong use of the phrase victim-blaming. You water down the significance and meaning by using it in silly ways. Victim of what? Being looked at?

It’s a curious scenario, people are just making suggestions. It’s far more likely the man is a fellow school parent who thinks OP has done something inconsiderate (possibly as a case of mistaken identity) than it is that he is just a random scary/violent/evil man trying to intimidate her through a campaign of frowning.

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SinnerBoy · 16/01/2024 13:42

Greycottage · Today 13:40

^Ps sorry to see so much victim-blaming on the thread. Sigh…
Oh come on, this is the wrong use of the phrase victim-blaming. You water down the significance and meaning by using it in silly ways. Victim of what? Being looked at?^

Being stared at and being looked at are two different things. Being stared at is intimidating and disturbing and starers know that perfectly well.

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TeachesOfPeaches · 16/01/2024 13:43

Ask him for the time and see how he reacts

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Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 16/01/2024 13:45

I am forever being told to 'cheer up' when I am going about business in my normal fashion with my normal face (not by men in a 'smile, Darlin'!' way, but just generally) and I have had to conclude that my natural expression makes me look as though I'm about to burst into tears.

So I have now cultivated an unnaturally cheery expression, which I believe makes me look as though I am in the throes of a manic episode. So be it. Maybe this guy is the same and he just has an ...unfortunate natural expression?

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Raspberryjamsandwich · 16/01/2024 13:46

Some of these replies are shocking.
A man gives a woman an evil glare every time he sees her for months and people are suggesting he fancies herConfused.
As a kid, if I complained that a boy a school was nasty to me this is the sort of rubbish I would get told. "He fancies you"
Well, no actually, he was just nasty and females should be listening to when they have these experiences.
OP what this man is doing is intimidation and you shouldn't have to put up with it. Unfortunately there's little help for women in these sort of circumstances.

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YouJustDoYou · 16/01/2024 13:48

I have a "starer" but it's because I once told his aggressive brat "no" in the playground and ever since then he;s had it in for me, lol.

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Bikesandbees · 16/01/2024 13:49

When you’re in your car, is your engine idling? I glare at idlers too. My asthmatic son doesn’t need the extra fumes around his school. Or illegally parked, or parked on the pavement?

Otherwise, maybe just ask?

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DontListenToWhatYouveConsumed · 16/01/2024 13:49

It'll probably be his cum face

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ForeverDelayedEpiphany · 16/01/2024 13:53

I've often mistakenly thought that people were looking at me oddly, then realised it was more to do with my own hang-ups and social anxiety.

OTOH, I dismissed my gut instincts about things in the past, such as medication that was harmful (and did injure me 😢), and i wished that I had listened more to my feelings. Obviously nor quite the same as OP's situation, but it does seem that listening to when you think things are "off" is a good thing mostly.

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airforsharon · 16/01/2024 13:53

Raspberryjamsandwich · 16/01/2024 13:46

Some of these replies are shocking.
A man gives a woman an evil glare every time he sees her for months and people are suggesting he fancies herConfused.
As a kid, if I complained that a boy a school was nasty to me this is the sort of rubbish I would get told. "He fancies you"
Well, no actually, he was just nasty and females should be listening to when they have these experiences.
OP what this man is doing is intimidation and you shouldn't have to put up with it. Unfortunately there's little help for women in these sort of circumstances.

Yep. I'm boggling at the number of people who are either blaming the OP or telling her to get a sense of humour 🙄
I'm sure she's old enough to know the difference between receiving an occassional glance from someone with a naturally stern expression and a deliberately aggressive stare.

Do you have a partner or friend who could come along and observe from a distance OP & see what they think? Most men are harmless but some are not, and i think it's pretty poor that so many are dismissing OP's gut instinct. Another pair of eyes might be useful.

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Pinkyandthebrain96 · 16/01/2024 14:00

I get told regularly I look scary .People have admitted because I do have a resting bitch face and eyebrow piercings and a bridge piercing that I am going to be really offhand and abrupt .I actually am a really kind person who works in care lol .My bff thinks it is dead funny but it it is just my resting face .

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Pinkyandthebrain96 · 16/01/2024 14:02

But me I would be asking him outright what is the matter .I would not stand for anybody trying to intimidate me .It is not acceptable .

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MermaidEyes · 16/01/2024 14:03

Maybe he actually fancies you and it's his trying to look sexy face.

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housethatbuiltme · 16/01/2024 14:04

I'm sorry but 'feeling eyes on you' is not a real thing, vision does not have any physical touch you can 'feel'... that simply called paranoia.

He probably is tired and zoned out, most people don't view the school gates as a social event they just get through it as quick as possible.

He probably wonders why a nutty woman keeps glancing at him as if hes an axe murderer when hes just minding his own business.

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housethatbuiltme · 16/01/2024 14:06

airforsharon · 16/01/2024 13:53

Yep. I'm boggling at the number of people who are either blaming the OP or telling her to get a sense of humour 🙄
I'm sure she's old enough to know the difference between receiving an occassional glance from someone with a naturally stern expression and a deliberately aggressive stare.

Do you have a partner or friend who could come along and observe from a distance OP & see what they think? Most men are harmless but some are not, and i think it's pretty poor that so many are dismissing OP's gut instinct. Another pair of eyes might be useful.

Edited

OP is posting classic paranoia... this man hasn't DONE anything.

She has occasionally seen a man she 'thinks' in her own head looks scary. She isn't even seeing him look at her she is 'feeling' it most of the time... utter crazy.

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Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 16/01/2024 14:06

RestingMurderousFace · 16/01/2024 12:13

Resting murderous face? It’s a terrible affliction.

I have this affliction!!! I don't feel it inside, its just my default face, unfortunately 😕

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