Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be embarrassed for these women following their OH’s round the golf course

188 replies

Flowersandchoc · 15/01/2024 17:41

I’m a member of a golf club and have noticed in the last year a couple of women have started to walk round the course with their OH’s.

I’ve seen them quite a few times now - they definitely aren’t playing, they just trail round after their husbands.

I could understand if OH had no one to play with or maybe in the summer when the weather was nice but there were 4 men playing in the group & it was bloody freezing yesterday so I can’t see the appeal of walking round for hours not playing. Is it me or is this extremely odd and a bit embarrassing that they don’t have anything better to do ?!?

OP posts:
donkeydo · 16/01/2024 08:30

Unless they are a golf enthusiast and or caddying for their DH's I don't see the point in walking a course for 4+ hours. It is weird and I've never seen a non player do it.

WandaWonder · 16/01/2024 08:41

Has anyone worked out why it's embarrassing?

quisensoucie · 16/01/2024 08:45

Flowersandchoc · 15/01/2024 17:45

Sorry I should have said they can’t be any older than 30 - I just think it’s sad that they didn’t have anything better to do at the weekend ! And I’m a golfer!

How could you possibly know they had nothing better to do?
Perhaps they think it's sad that you have nothing better to do than post your half-baked assumptions regarding women you know nothing about on a public forum
Each to their own I suppose...

SwimmingWorrier · 16/01/2024 08:46

WandaWonder · 16/01/2024 08:41

Has anyone worked out why it's embarrassing?

I don't think it's embarrassing. I just don't do it. Mainly becasue I use the time to do other things. My Husband doesn't do it as often now as we have a hobby we do together. Even on holiday if he has a round of golf I enyoy my time reading, swimming etc.

People have different lives though.

StockpotSoup · 16/01/2024 08:57

Why would you be “embarrassed” for someone you don’t know, who is doing something with zero effect on you or your life?

OverTheGrip · 16/01/2024 09:06

Stop being judgy

Sweden99 · 16/01/2024 09:24

Do people here find it odd if a man follows his wife round the shops?

Fizbosshoes · 16/01/2024 09:32

I admit I think it seems strange especially if there's a group of 4 so they're not going for company.
Plus it's a very inefficient way of going for a walk, having to stop every few minutes!
I go running with friends, I'd find it very weird if my DH followed round. Occassionally if I've done a long run on my own, he's cycled very slowly beside me for part, to keep me company.

DreamItDoIt · 16/01/2024 09:38

I've seen this and I'm with the OP, I find it odd although agree it's none of my business and each to their own.

Whilst golf courses are normally beautiful, walking around as a non golfer is a bit strange. Firstly golf courses can be dangerous and secondly it's all stop start and often waiting behind other groups. There's also a lot of banter within groups, it's a very personal thing.

I've yet to see a man doing this and can't imagine any man trailing around after his GF/wife. To me it's a little bit 'do you not have your own interests', a bit sad.

To the poster who walks around with the kids what are you thinking - golf courses are not playgrounds! Fine if they are learning but are they just learning that Daddy's hobby is important and we must all go along as we don't have our own things to do.

Everanewbie · 16/01/2024 09:39

It would be a nice long walk in pretty surroundings at the very least. As long as the women want to be there, the husbands are happy with their wife/GF being there, and the other people playing with the husband/BF are ok with it, I could think of worse ways to spend 3-4 hours.

Of course they need to be mindful of etiquette, distracting or holding up other players, are standing in a place that they're in danger of flying golf balls, but as long as they're doing that and everyone is happy, I don't see it as that weird. Touch unusual, but not weird.

phoenixrosehere · 16/01/2024 09:56

DreamItDoIt · 16/01/2024 09:38

I've seen this and I'm with the OP, I find it odd although agree it's none of my business and each to their own.

Whilst golf courses are normally beautiful, walking around as a non golfer is a bit strange. Firstly golf courses can be dangerous and secondly it's all stop start and often waiting behind other groups. There's also a lot of banter within groups, it's a very personal thing.

I've yet to see a man doing this and can't imagine any man trailing around after his GF/wife. To me it's a little bit 'do you not have your own interests', a bit sad.

To the poster who walks around with the kids what are you thinking - golf courses are not playgrounds! Fine if they are learning but are they just learning that Daddy's hobby is important and we must all go along as we don't have our own things to do.

Odd is one thing, embarrassed for the ladies they don’t even know is another.

SwimmingWorrier · 16/01/2024 10:13

@DreamItDoIt I agree. I don't think my Husband's golf club would allow the whole family walking around. Most golf clubs have a lot of rules.

Everanewbie · 16/01/2024 10:23

@SwimmingWorrier yes it would depend on the golf club in question. Some are quite chill, others are very much the opposite. Others are chill at heart but are strict due to health and safety with wedding parties etc. at the clubhouse that stroll out into the line of fire completely oblivious of balls, water, slippery terrain etc. so get funny about non-golfers wandering around to avoid being sued.

MrsSkylerWhite · 16/01/2024 10:25

WTF do you care?

Maybe they enjoy a walk but don’t want to go out alone.

GlitterBall91 · 16/01/2024 10:26

Flowersandchoc · 15/01/2024 17:51

@LauderSyme but it’s not the couple spending time together - there were 4 men and 2 women following yesterday. The men didn’t interact with the women at all, they were all too busy playing golf / talking to each other. So it just looked to me like the women weren’t letting the Oh’s have their own time for their hobby

You sound a bit obsessed with them. Watching them long enough to know that the men “didn’t interact with them at all”.. later on in the thread you say that you’ve noticed that they are there every week and then you say that you’ve been listening to (and probably participating in, based on creating a thread on MN) gossiping about them in the club house ..?

MoreCandles · 16/01/2024 10:26

I don't think my Husband's golf club would allow the whole family walking around

I've said upthread that I sometimes walk around with dh if he's playing alone on holiday, but I totally agree it would be bizarre to see partner plus kids following
a player around a golf course. His local club certainly wouldn't allow it.
Children are not allowed on the links, with the exception of older children who are actually learning to play, and I'm talking 14/15 year olds.

MRSMTO · 16/01/2024 10:30

Flowersandchoc · 15/01/2024 18:41

It’s not a one off, one of them joins nearly every week! And lives locally too. From what I’ve heard in the clubhouse, the DH isn’t overjoyed but goes along with it so he can play golf.

Anyway I can see I’m in the minority by thinking it’s odd and agree it’s none of my business anyway so I will keep my mouth shut 🤐

There is no where on earth more judgmental, sanctimonious and hostile than a Golf clubhouse!

caringcarer · 16/01/2024 10:34

Surely by walking around the course they were getting some fresh air and exercise and maybe they were having lunch afterwards. I don't see why it should concern you.

MoreCandles · 16/01/2024 10:37

There is no where on earth more judgmental, sanctimonious and hostile than a Golf clubhouse!

Maybe if they focussed more on their own game they'd improve their handicap.

ManateeFair · 16/01/2024 10:46

What's it got to do with you?

Presumably they enjoy the walk and a chat, and maybe they like watching golf. They probably have a drink in the clubhouse afterwards or something.

If my DP played football, I'd definitely go and watch. Not because I can't bear to be away from him or because I 'don't have anything better to do' but because I like watching football and we'd probably get a drink afterwards.

SIL's husband plays in a band. Do you think it's weird/sad/embarrassing that she goes to festivals with him and watches him play? She likes watching live music and it's something they both enjoy together.

Haven't you got anything better to do than sneer at other women while knowing absolutely fuck-all about them?

MoreCandles · 16/01/2024 11:01

Haven't you got anything better to do than sneer at other women while knowing absolutely fuck-all about them?

This is spot on actually. I admire the brevity and excellent aim.

Teddleshon · 16/01/2024 11:16

Plenty of spectators go along to watch golf tournaments and some of them are even women!

Willyoujustbequiet · 16/01/2024 11:24

LauderSyme · 15/01/2024 17:46

I think it's weird that you think it's pitiful for a couple to want to spend time together.

This.

I think it's odd you think it's weird.

Bit of fresh air and exercise and naybe they just all enjoy each others company. I don't see the big deal.

IncompleteSenten · 16/01/2024 11:27

People watch golf matches don't they?

Maybe they enjoy watching and walking round a nice green space and getting some fresh air. 🤷

SwimmingWorrier · 16/01/2024 11:52

I've replied a few time and I absolutely do not think it's embarrassing but I do wonder how many posters are actually walking around golf courses with their Husbands.

I know many golfers and I don't know many pertners who do this. I walked once with mine but he wasn't playing. We were just supporting his friends in a charity match. My Aunt is a good golfer (was ladies captain a couple of years ago) and she's never mentioned people bringing partners.