To wonder what happened to Janet and is she ok?

[letsbepositive2024]

Trying to keep this concise and sort of lighthearted as it's weirding me out.

DH friend Dave was/is married to Janet. He met up with Dave for gigs etc as they have a shared music interest. Janet also went to gigs with them as did her best friend, Sally. I met Janet and Sally quite a few times and all very friendly.

Six months ago Dave and Janet suddenly split up due to his excessive drinking, apparently. He's now sober and came around last night, and introduced Sally as his girlfriend! We had a pleasant enough evening but I just wanted to ask 'where is Janet? Are you still friends with her Sally? Was this an affair? Does she know?

I know it's none of my business and DH doesn't know anything but it's like Janet never existed and that her and Sally were never bestfriends. Sally was talking away quite happily about their plans and future and they're moving in together, but no mention of Janet.

It's makes me want to shout JANET and see if she metaphorically appears.

She did exist as I met her!

Am I losing it? Is this weird? Should I ask?

The update shows that Dave is one of those pathetic men who can’t live without a woman so he just moved onto the next convenient one who was prepared to put up with him. Sally must be deluded to think it will work but if she was meant to be Janet’s friend then she deserves whatever bullshit Dave ends up heaping on her. Incidentally, how did you find out what happened to Janet?

that is the worse post on which this thread might end. so wanted to reply.

Your "sally" does indeed need a smashing of some sort, but you are a better person for not giving in to the urge. Move on, in what ever ways are open to you, and live your better life.

Well yeah there's a moral rule you don't go out with your close friends ex's is just wrong.

One of my work colleagues (I shall call him Dave) did this. Except while he thought he was being discrete, he wasn’t and it was clear he and his Sally were involved. All three worked in the same company.

Initially he denied, then he rewrote history by saying him and Janet had been separated for months before he started anything with Sally, then Janet kicked him out, he moved in with Sally and announced their engagement, marrying 4 months and one quickie divorce later. Janet got another job and Dave is now acting like the only chap who’s ever fallen in love and got married. It just feels so disrespectful to Janet (and her children) so I’ve stopped talking to Dave and Sally.

This really made me laugh. I think I would ask her if it was me 😂😂

Avoid stealer Sally 😂

Lmao 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

"Janet? Janet!? Who the fu*k is Janet?" (AKA Alice)

Glad Janet is ok. I left two alcoholics and believe there is no such thing as 'recovered'. Never again.

I have quite a sad story....
My lovely friend 'Jill' died, leaving behind her fiance 'Bob' and their young children.
Her best friend 'Julie' comforted 'Bob'. To the extent of, within THREE weeks , Julie had left her husband and moved her and her kids in with Bob. Cue four confused young children merged into a brand new family. Bob then cuts out all Jill's other friends. So we never hear how Jill's children are. To this day no one knows :(

Rooting for Janet. So Sally gets an alcoholic narcissist as a cocklodger then. 🤢

karma is a bitch

I'm very happy for Janet, and hope Sally and Dave end up with life they deserve.

Poor Janet

Really hope she somehow sees this and sees we are all routing for her….Janet have the best new life ever 💐

Exactly, how can this possibly need explaining. You learn not to do any of these things to your lovely girly friends at about 16!

I think this is a great idea @Fernsfernsferns

a couple of my exH’s friend’s wives did this and it meant a lot.

He has spread all sorts of nasty stories about me and was so glad that some people saw through his BS. It was the good people too- the twats still ignore me as if I’m a leper ( for kicking out a lying cheating, psychologically abusive twat- god knows how he spun that one!)

And this is why I love my husband, there is no way this would happen without him saying to Dave, what happened to Janet?! What's going with Sally?! He would then tell me

He’s a keeper.

My DH went halfway across the country to spend the evening and night with his oldest mate who had just broken up with his long term partner, a lovely woman.

When he got back I asked what had happened.

”They reached a stalemate “
”What about?”
”I don’t know, he didn’t say”

And they spent the rest of evening talking about classic album covers and what it takes to be a classic album cover.

Which maybe explains a lot. Lovely Fran, I feel your pain, wherever you went.

In a few years time "Janet" will be engaged to "Brad" and will think she's done the best thing.

Certainly ask and see what kind of awkward response see you get. I wouldn’t want to be friends with them if it was an affair so would need to know.

It's the way you are expected to collude with this disappearance. As though marriage is meaningless and best friends are not real. Jarring. I'd be very uncomfortable too. Socially it's difficult, they have made it difficult. I'd first work on husband and ask him to ask Dave how Janet was, privately. Tell him it is important. If he refuses then I think you should ask next time...'How's Janet?'

This is so funny 😆😂

Take it up a notch and play "Janet" from The Commodores in the background or Janet Jackson songs.

Haven’t read the whole thread. But what is this from? It sounds familiar. Not rocky horror I don’t think. Can’t remember…

Oooh Alice. Of course….

Hmm. I've learnt (via reading novels) that you are not supposed to date until you're a year sober. This would suggest that there is something highly suspicious going on in terms of their relationship and that it probably was happening over six months ago (or perhaps a threesome that went wrong).

I also watch enough crime drama to want to check that Janet is at least still alive. Are you not able to check FB for her name or LinkedIn or something?

prayers for Janet.
wishing her all the luck