To think it's odd my husband didn't eat the roast meat because my dad had touched it

[LaviniaLee]

Just before Christmas, my husband and I went to visit my family for the weekend, for an early-christmas celebration. My sister did a big roast for us (for my parents, siblings & families).

The meat was a lovely roast lamb. My dad was helping by carving the meat. He put his hand on the skin of the joint and carved. So he had touched the edges of the meat.

My husband loves meat but he didn't take any of it. When I asked him later, he said it was because he didn't think my dad had clean hands, because he once heard him (at a different time) flush the loo and come out quickly, and he suspected that he hadn't washed his hands. So now his general assumption is that my dad doesn't have clean hands.

AIBU to think it's odd that my husband didn't eat the meat for this reason? (given he normally loves it).

🤢 🤢 🤢

not surprised though.....

We used to have to go to a caravan with the ILs. We knew none of them washed hands after using the toilet. In a small, cramped place and a dry sink every time you could tell easily, and SIL even joked about it proudly when I mentioned it once after she had clearly had a shite.

We'd get upset stomachs, vomiting and diahorrea every time we went that bloody holiday! ILs would blame it on us being in a crowded venue and sick people spreading it.

Three times a sodding year! You'd think we had kicked their newborn puppy and WW3 would start if we suggested to MIL that DH, I and the kids paid for our own caravan. Thankfully we had another baby and 10 to a caravan was too crowded. So sorry OP, if someone who doesn't wash hands after the toilet as standard fingers my food then I'm happily giving it a miss.

Where does it say DF didn’t have clean hands?

Meat is unhygienic to start with. Body parts go all over the place in abattoirs; intestinal contents contaminate meat which is why is has to be cooked, and after handling raw meat you have to wash your hands and not cross contaminate any surfaces with anything that's touched it.

Basically, meat has shit on it. There's no point in worrying about forensic traces of willy germs.

I wash my hands before I flush. So he would think my hands are unclean.

I don't blame your DH for not wanting to eat it if he suspected he hadn't washed his hands after touching his bits.

Erm, where it said it was suspected he hadn't washed his hands after going to the toilet. What are you talking about?

And after as well, I hope!

In two minds about this. I'v been suspicious that my dad doesn't wash hands after the toilet - at least properly but I'v eaten 100's of meals prepared and touched by him and never gotten ill. It does definitely give the ick though.

Sorry what are you talking about - the loo incident was a different occasion.

Totally with DH on this. If your Dad doesn't wash his hands at the loo, he won't be washing them after coughing, sneezing, scratching, ear poking either. Totally gross.

Surely lots of people touch roast meat when they carve and serve it?

my hygiene standards are grim according to MN, but no I don't touch roast meat or fowl when I'm carving it. I use a carving knife and a carving fork. I don't touch the meat as much for but wanting the smell of it on my hands as anything else, but I can't see why it's necessary to touch it.

Yep it’s gross. Why would you touch food with hands when serving others family or not.

I won't drink from glasses at a family members house for the exact same reason your husband didn't eat the meat and I have a high threshold for things I consider truly gross as well.

Sorry I haven’t rtft but is that the only germphobic thing your husband does? I’d understand if your dad had just exited the loo on the flush and doing his zipper up, but otherwise it does seem a bit extreme.

Exactly. I wash my hands regularly and I still wash them before I touch food. Also, you steady a roast with a fork when you cut it, not your hands.

But that's before it's cooked.

This toilet-hands thing is after it's cooked.

Very different situation

OhcantthInkofaname Why? And surely you end up with germs off the dirty toilet flush back on your hands?

OP, I don’t blame your DH one bit. If I knew someone didn’t wash their hands after using the loo I wouldn’t touch food they had touched either. Yuck.

It's worrying how germophobic people are becoming. I agree @MrsTerryPratchett that Covid really had an impact psychologically. Families sharing food, touching each other's food etc didn't always inspire the sort of visceral horror people are showing on this thread. It was common to have a lick of someone else's ice cream when we were kids.

What are you talking about? I wouldn't eat food somebody had touched if I had a suspicion they didn't wash their hands first. Especially if I previously believed they had actually used the toilet without washing their hands afterwards on a previous occasion. That is way beneath minimum expected levels of cleanliness even from a five year old, so I would believe they are a dirty person.

HTH!

You could try reading the thread of course in which it turns out that DH has OCD issues that call the whole toilet incident into question. And there being zero evidence other than DH’s neurosis that DF did not have clean hands. HTH.

I don't see why anyone would need to touch a joint of meat while they were carving it. That would really put me off, quite aside from the possibility that your Dad hasn't washed his hands.

If your father is someone who doesn’t wash his hands after going to the toilet, then I agree with your husband.

DH sounds like he may have an issue. Multiple sanitising during a meal and listening and obsessing over other people's toilet use. Anything else that might signal OCD?

I agree from OPs updates. But it’s still normal and not OCD to expect people to wash their hands after using the toilet and to not want to eat food prepared by someone who doesn’t. It’s basic hygiene.

I might not always wash my hands before making a sandwich for myself if I had just been puttering around the house, but if I had guests and was making food for them, I’d make a point of doing it.

Your husband sounds like a complete nutjob tbh. His behaviour isn't normal. The fact he does it under the table suggests he knows it's not normal so is hiding it. I'd suggest to him that he gets help for his OCD or whatever it is, rather than worrying about your dad's hands. Do you have children? Because if you don't, having children will soon cure his neurotic obsession with hygiene.