To think it's odd my husband didn't eat the roast meat because my dad had touched it

[LaviniaLee]

Just before Christmas, my husband and I went to visit my family for the weekend, for an early-christmas celebration. My sister did a big roast for us (for my parents, siblings & families).

The meat was a lovely roast lamb. My dad was helping by carving the meat. He put his hand on the skin of the joint and carved. So he had touched the edges of the meat.

My husband loves meat but he didn't take any of it. When I asked him later, he said it was because he didn't think my dad had clean hands, because he once heard him (at a different time) flush the loo and come out quickly, and he suspected that he hadn't washed his hands. So now his general assumption is that my dad doesn't have clean hands.

AIBU to think it's odd that my husband didn't eat the meat for this reason? (given he normally loves it).

Presumably your father keeps his willy reasonably clean and doesn’t pee on his fingers so it’s all a load of fuss about nothing. Was it an act to put your husband off so there was more for him, not a Yorkshireman is he?

That’s horrendous.I didn’t even know that could happen?

I try and check the hygiene rating of places where I eat in this country as it’s usually easy to find on the website but I don’t know how to do it other countries so I sometimes worry and take a good look at the place which I’m sure isn’t a foolproof way to tell if it’s hygienic or not lol

I had extremely bad food poisoning in America once and it ruined half my 2 week trip.

@LaviniaLee your DH is perfectly reasonable to wash or sanitise his hands before eating even if he’s using a knife and fork he may decide to use his hands for something, or maybe it’s just a habit of cleaning his hands before meals. it’s a fairly non-intrusive and non demanding habit , it’s not as if he getting up from his meal every 5 minutes to wash his hands.

And again completely understandable why he is put off by your dad touching his food. I would’ve been grossed out too.

I was in a cafe once and the woman wiped her nose with her hands and touched the bin before making me a breakfast roll. I had already paid but I took it and then stuck it in the bin and never went back there. Because if she can do all that in front of customers in public, it made me think she’s unlikely to be washing her hands in private when no-one can see.

I'm a strange one. I'll eat food with completely filthy gardening hands if it's just me, but I have excellent hand hygiene when it comes to preparing food for others.
I do understand your dh feeling like this. It easily gives me the ick if I think about anyone else handling food when they haven't washed their hands.
Luckily for me I can turn off thinking about it.
Quite honestly, also, if people think hygiene practices are rigorously adhered to everywhere they eat out, they are wrong.
The only 'safe' option is to only eat food you prepare yourself.
I feel for people who suffer from ocd in this area. You don't get to pick and choose with ocd and its hard.

This. I don’t understand people will try insist that others lower their hygiene standards to meet theirs or interrogate others because they’re being more hygienic.

I wouldn’t eat something I dropped on the floor, some others would - they can crack on as long as they don’t try and pressure me to follow suit or ridicule me for being what they would foolishly call “OCD”.

I chose not to eat chocolate brought into our office as the person announced it was a year out of date, my manager at the time mocked me repeatedly throughout the day and tried to get others to join in. Luckily everyone ignored her. I just mentioned after being repeatedly offered and asked why I was declining that the reason was because it’s past its best before date. I didn’t make a big fuss over it or criticise others for eating it.

Perhaps nothing would have happened as it’s only chocolate but surely it’s up to me if I want to err on the side of caution? I was worried about the taste as well as I’m sensitive to things tasting a bit stale. My stomach can be sensitive at the best of times and I’m no chocoholic so it was no problem for me to turn it down. What I didn’t understand was why it bothered her!

I once cancelled an engagement because my ick was so high when I saw my ex-fiancé leave the toilet after having a poo and not washing his hands. Disgusting. Truly. I’m with your DH on this one.

Sorry but I’m with your DH on this one!

I agree with husband.

He's not a nut job. I have emetophobia/ocd and I often sanitise my hands, especially if I am in restaurants, eating outside of my home. I am NOT a nut job. I have children. It hasn't cured me.

As someone germ phobic, I definitely pay attention to things like that. I worry how long people are in there too in case they are unwell. As I just said, I am not a nut job.

Your dad has poor hand hygiene and your husband a heightened concern over hand hygiene. It's really not odd or even slightly puzzling that your husband didn't want to eat food your father had handled.

Wouldn't bother me personally, but I know a couple of people who wouldn't eat food under these circumstances. A type of squeamishness.

Surely lots of people touch roast meat when they carve and serve it? In cafes, the staff have to touch your food to make a sandwich, for example.

No. We stick a fork in it and then carve using a knife and the fork holding it in place.

In cafes they should wear gloves or follow proper hygiene rules (but that is also why I rarely eat out given, as a PO said, nearly 10% of people are gross pigs - not gonna take the risk someone will get piss or shit in my food)

I wouldn't eat it either if he hadn't washed his hands.

Did your dad wash his hands before touching the meat?

If no I wouldn't eat it either. And tbh it would put me off eating at their house in future.

And yes you should wash your hands before handling/preparing food and before eating. There's a page on the NHS website for those who don't know this!!

I dont think its odd, no. I am the same about people with questionable hygiene habits tbh.

Yet on a previous thread people told a poster she WBU when she asked if her friend who didn’t use soap was unhygienic…….

Cold meat, mauled by willy fingers, no thanks.
Don't most people have a prong thing for holding the meat? (The lamb, not the willy)

In most cases I probably wouldn't notice or care but I have one relative who I know doesn't wash their hands and if it were that person I would also not eat it. Perhaps your Dad is 'that person' for your DH?

I'm with your DH, I don't want your dad's cock on my meat thanks.

Willy, poo hands….. immense. 🤮 I’m with your DH.

We have an office colleague who doesn’t wash her hands after using the restrooms. She makes cupcakes. I always decline.

😂

I think people on this thread need not to go into restaurant kitchens or indeed any food serving environment at all if they are that worried about germs spread by a man touching the end of a joint who may or may not have washed his hands once after going to the toilet months previously.

Good God.

I'm team DH.

Is there a reason the dad didn't use a fork to hold the joint?

Hand washer or not, why wouldn't you use a fork

Did he was his hands after touching the meat? 😂

It's not about what he did months previously. It's about it his attitude to hygiene that would have put her DH from eating the food. If he didn't wash his hands after going to the toilet he's unlikely to have great food hygiene especially after unnecessarily finger fucking the food

Well then more than half the people commenting here are unhinged also.

Once you have mental picture of something like a dude holding his penis then handling your food, it really isn't hard to think 'nah. None for me'.

Who holds the meat with their hands to carve anyway.