To think it's odd my husband didn't eat the roast meat because my dad had touched it

[LaviniaLee]

Just before Christmas, my husband and I went to visit my family for the weekend, for an early-christmas celebration. My sister did a big roast for us (for my parents, siblings & families).

The meat was a lovely roast lamb. My dad was helping by carving the meat. He put his hand on the skin of the joint and carved. So he had touched the edges of the meat.

My husband loves meat but he didn't take any of it. When I asked him later, he said it was because he didn't think my dad had clean hands, because he once heard him (at a different time) flush the loo and come out quickly, and he suspected that he hadn't washed his hands. So now his general assumption is that my dad doesn't have clean hands.

AIBU to think it's odd that my husband didn't eat the meat for this reason? (given he normally loves it).

People not washing their hands is a big ick for me. It’s almost worse than dropping something on the floor then quickly picking it up - illogically.
I don’t think you can help the things that put you off eating certain things.

Willy-fingers 😳

I think your dad has a new nickname OP.

But seriously - is your DH always so fastidious? The world is full of germs. It's not healthy to be so anxious about them.

This. If he'd been that bothered he could have left the outside? But really, just eat it and enjoy it. Has he never licked his finger without washing it first?

I don't know for sure, but possibly if it's a no.1.

He comes from an old-school background and also carries round a hanky in his pocket.

Surely lots of people touch roast meat when they carve and serve it? In cafes, the staff have to touch your food to make a sandwich, for example.

I wouldn't have ate it either.

When you have the option between it and other food, why eat the option that you have a strong suspicion has toilet germs on it?

I've never been that desperate for a bit of food.

It’s usual to put a napkin on the meat if you’re holding it steady to carve, surely?

I don’t think it’s all that normal to touch meat when you are carving it for others. It usually would be too hot for one thing, and to properly steady it you need to at least use a fork instead of your fingers. I can see your DH’s side.

I wonder if your DH has different hygiene standards to your Dad in general. I had this problem with a few of my relatives and it made eating at theirs really really difficult.
If it’s my DH I wouldn’t be offended at all it would rather attract my attention to hygiene habits of a relative whoever it might be.

Well the cafe staff would wash their hands presumably 🤨.

Come on. You know exactly why your husband didn’t want food stuffs your dad touched and there’s nothing weird about that.

In cafes, the staff have to touch your food to make a sandwich, for example.

Here, they wear gloves when making sandwiches or use utensils instead of touching cake or cookies.

I wash my hands before handling food

I suppose he's already got your dad is slack with personal hygiene and that ruined the meat for him?

I'll just pick my nose and then make you a sandwich, would you eat it then, not knowing if I'd washed my hands or not afterwards????? Sound gross yet????

My 92 year old grandad carries a hankie but he still knows to wash his hands after his hands have been on his cock!

As if you're trying to compare a servers CLEAN hands to your father's pissy hands. I wouldn't have eaten anything as it seems hygiene in your family is severely lacking.

You husband has the ick. No point fighting it.

Gosh if you actually agree that your dad doesn't wash his hands after a wee, yabvu for thinking your dh is odd not wanting food touched by those hands!

I'm not a germ freak by any means but I do not want food touched by unwashed toilet hands.

Even if it's a "no1", he'll have used the flush which has no2 germs on.
So gross. Old school is no excuse: I use hankies too, it is incomparable.

I always do too, and my dad may well have done before he helped (but we can't know for sure).

But because of what my husband heard once, I think he's always going to think my dad's hands are dirty, so won't eat anything he's touched.

Is DH neurotic in other areas too?

I probably would have taken some but cut the edge off…

Same!

50% of men don't use soap? 😱

If I wasn't so lazy I'd stop eating anything that I hadn't prepared I think...

Have you not noticed people in cafes wearing gloves when they touch food? And washing hands, having hygiene rules etc.

I'm not especially fussy but I wouldn't want my father in law's mitts on my meat, esp not if they'd been on his meat before!

And regardless of the toilet matter, it's still grim. His hands wouldn't be clean and anyone with any sense would stick a fork in not use their hands. Your DH is not odd. You've just lost perspective cos he's your dad.

That's what I was trying to say, but you said it better

Maybe it doesn’t seem as bad to you because it’s your dad. I think it’s gross. Tell your dad to wash his fucking hands.

My husband always carries round a little bottle of hand sanitizer. He puts it on his hands whenever he eats anything, even when he has a knife and fork. I have seen him do it a couple of times under the table during a single meal.

He's entitled to enjoy his food. He had an understandable disgust reaction and it sounds as though he politely declined the meat.