To think it's odd my husband didn't eat the roast meat because my dad had touched it

[LaviniaLee]

Just before Christmas, my husband and I went to visit my family for the weekend, for an early-christmas celebration. My sister did a big roast for us (for my parents, siblings & families).

The meat was a lovely roast lamb. My dad was helping by carving the meat. He put his hand on the skin of the joint and carved. So he had touched the edges of the meat.

My husband loves meat but he didn't take any of it. When I asked him later, he said it was because he didn't think my dad had clean hands, because he once heard him (at a different time) flush the loo and come out quickly, and he suspected that he hadn't washed his hands. So now his general assumption is that my dad doesn't have clean hands.

AIBU to think it's odd that my husband didn't eat the meat for this reason? (given he normally loves it).

In the end @LaviniaLee, it boils down to the fact that we are all different. I would be put off eating something touched by a person whose hygiene I had reason to doubt. Your DH's feelings around this are perfectly valid, even if you don't feel the same way. Unless he announced to everyone at the table that he couldn't eat the meat because of his concern that your dad's hands might not be clean (which he didn't) then I don't see the problem. Everyone else enjoyed theirs and lived to tell the tale. I don't eat anything other than the odd biscuit at PIL's because their dogs try, and occasionally succeed, to stick their noses onto my plate. Nobody else cares and that's fine. But I do. It makes me feel queasy, even though I know logically that I would 'survive'.

I think sometimes people are a bit defensive when someone has concerns around hygiene because they feel they need to justify the fact that they aren't bothered. They don't. Nobody is wrong here.

@LaviniaLee

oh well, it’s all good then 🙄

@Sennelier1 ok your FIL is a minger but to say I still feel faint thinking of it. is a tad over dramatic!! Do you have smelling salts to be administered when you collapse with the mere thought of a former illness.

@pineapplecrushed 3 posts from you, first post saying all chefs use their hand then a second post saying Jamie doesn't then a third post saying the reverse. All in a few minutes. How weird. Name change fail? Or you just like arguing with yourself?

Don't know what you are on about. All of my comments comment that it's mental to expect family members to use carving forks.

Wouldn't have worried me, but then I have a very good immune system, rarely ill, poss cos that stuff does not bother me

@pineapplecrushed

why is it “mental”?

germs are germs. Whether they come from someone who you are related to or a stranger. It’s of no relevance. Germs are germs regardless.

@Allfur

our immune system doesn’t quite work that way.
we can control it with the power of our minds.

My Dad is very unhygienic in his old age.

We grit our teeth if he cooks for us. We know full well he doesn't wash his hands after going to the toilet, and he touches food like he's at a Tudor banquet.

My DC wasn't looking forward to lunch at her Grandads one day, put decided she could go through with it as there was yorkshires and roasties. My dad proceeded to put both on her plate with his bare hands...

There's no need for people to be touching other peoples food, definitely not part of carving a roast either

because you have a mind set which thinks that if someone touches a foodstuff they have automatically transferred harmful germs. Again, presumably you have seen cooking shows? Do they not use their hands to prep and cook? Do you honestly think that when you go out to eat the kitchen staff don't handle the food?

because you have a mind set which thinks that if someone touches a foodstuff they have automatically transferred harmful germs. Again, presumably you have seen cooking shows? Do they not use their hands to prep and cook? Do you honestly think that when you go out to eat the kitchen staff don't handle the food?

@pineapplecrushed

if they absolutely have to touch the food then they should wash their hands before doing so. That’s basic. No ifs or buts that’s what should happen.

What do you think a germ is? They’re micro-organisms - bacteria, funguses, viruses and protozoa.

We are made from bacteria - a microbiome. 1-3% of our body mass is bacteria. Up to 100 trillion microbial cells.

The idea that bacteria are external to you and must be kept out is a misconception.

@Mirabai

you are wrong,

how do you think things like norovirus is spread?!

Do you mean “can’t control it?”

I think the poster meant because she doesn’t worry she ends up ingesting a low dosage which primes her immune. I don’t think she meant because she doesn’t worry her immune system directly picks up on the attitude and behaves differently as well.

Sorry love that’s just biology.

@Mirabai

what is?? Eveyone knows things like norovirus, flu etc is passed on via bacteria and one of the best ways to prevent it is good handwashing.

OP I hope you don’t think of your DH being odd if he sanitises when gets into a taxi etc?

I sanitise my hands often, especially when out and about touching objects that hundreds of other people have touched. I always sanitise even if I use a knife and fork in a restaurant, I wash my hands before I eat at home so it’s pretty much the same!

I’ll wash my hands before I prepare food and I’ll wash my hands after. And I’ll 10000% wash my hands after I’ve been to the toilet, and after changing my LO’s nappy.

So you would be okay if people in a restaurant touched your food while serving you?

You don't think chefs touch your food before it gets to your table?

Kitchens in restaurants have hygiene protocols. Random bloke who can't even wash his hands after holding his todger clearly doesn't.

@Funnywonder
You say:
I don't eat anything other than the odd biscuit at PIL's because their dogs try, and occasionally succeed, to stick their noses onto my plate.

Does that mean that if they cook a meal, you have to sit out? Isn't that awkward?

We're not usually there at dinner time @LaviniaLee, but I've been offered sandwiches, cheese on toast, apple tart etc where I'd be balancing a plate on my knee. Everyone else seems completely unfazed by doggy noses in their food. I really wish I was like that, but I'm just not.

' Willy Fingers '
😂

@LaviniaLee

i would rather it be awkward than eat something a dog has had its snout in. Dogs lick their own arse afterall.