To think it's odd my husband didn't eat the roast meat because my dad had touched it

[LaviniaLee]

Just before Christmas, my husband and I went to visit my family for the weekend, for an early-christmas celebration. My sister did a big roast for us (for my parents, siblings & families).

The meat was a lovely roast lamb. My dad was helping by carving the meat. He put his hand on the skin of the joint and carved. So he had touched the edges of the meat.

My husband loves meat but he didn't take any of it. When I asked him later, he said it was because he didn't think my dad had clean hands, because he once heard him (at a different time) flush the loo and come out quickly, and he suspected that he hadn't washed his hands. So now his general assumption is that my dad doesn't have clean hands.

AIBU to think it's odd that my husband didn't eat the meat for this reason? (given he normally loves it).

Any of you worked in or eaten at a restaurant? Thought not.

that f.i.l. had a severe stomach bug ánd that he had washed the lettuce and the tomatoes

I've never washed tomatoes and gave up washing lettuce years ago.

Some very low standards on this thread 🤮

you should wash your hands before you touch food someone else is going to be eating,

END OF.

Surprised at the many posters not bothered by this! People who don't wash their hands after going to the loo are disgusting and lazy! My DF nearly died last year from hepatitis A and ecoli which he picked up from bad hygiene around food! It was awful and so scary. How long does it take to use soap and water and wash your hands?! Just gross

Yuck! your DH is right not to have eaten it.

I think it is insulting to your father, in his house. That is worse than eating food that someone has touched. He was at no risk. Manners are about making people feel comfortable. People in families share their microorganisms. I would be insulted if someone so insulted my father.

i think the Dad’s wrong here. You have to up your hygiene standards when you have guests. Crack on and do whatever you like when it only involves yourself!

I’m like this, girls in work who bake etc I won’t touch their stuff. Unless I prepared it or I’m confident the person doing so is spotless I just wouldn’t.

I think your husband had a valid point, he wasn’t rude at all and declined the meat.

We are all different and some of us are very set in our ways with things like this. But I get your husband 100%.

Your dad touches food with unwashed hands after using the toilet, and you call your husband neurotic? I think you should support your husband and tell your dad to change his hygiene routines.

Honestly. The standard of reading comprehension on this thread is shocking. It's right there in the OP :

"he once heard him (at a different time) flush the loo and come out quickly, and he suspected that he hadn't washed his hands"

SUSPECTED. That isn;t the same as knowing or having proof, is it? And then the OP goes on to say her DH has some strange compulsions around sanitising and germs which might suggest his suspicions are based in skewed ideas about hygiene and not in fact.

Bargello...I know, and it wasn't the time when he carved the meat!

@Ohhoho

i don’t wanna share anyone’s microorganisms. I would much rather they just wash their hands before touching food I’m gonna eat.
why are some people acting like hand washing is some onerous task?!

He did witness that his hands weren't washed before handling the food. Whether he once left the loo without washing his hands is neither here nor there.

He didn't wash his hands before touching the food. It doesn't matter if he'd been to the loo first or not. That's just basic hygiene.

IKR. Until MN I had no idea how anyone could fail English GCSE. Now I get it.

Nope. Nowhere does the OP say he didn’t wash his hands before carving.

I'm with your DH. He knows your dad doesn't wash his hands after using the toilet, so it's put him off.

No he doesn't. He decided on one occasion that the OP's dad didn't wash his hands, purely on the basis that the thought he'd been a bit quick in the bathroom.

And anyway the real point is why he refused to eat ANY of the lamb. If he’d discreetly carved off the part of his lamb which had been exposed to touch and eaten the rest I’m sure OP wouldn’t have bothered to post. It’s the overreacting that’s at issue. Of course it is reassuring if people disinfect their hands in front of us, but if you are going to venture forth from your own santitation dome of home you need to find ways of dealing with uncertainty around the preparation, or differing standards, that minimise being offensive to hosts or other diners. Our dcs know that if they are out and someone doesn’t have adequately clean looking soap or towels they don’t make a scene but rinse their hands then just use cutlery, or, if hand-held bread or similar, they hold one part of the crust, eat the rest and just leave that little scrap of crust they held with less than clean fingers . It was a total overreaction for DH to not partake of the lamb at all ( it was cooked after all) and to sit sanitising his hands. Its all about balance.

Im with your husband on this, it would give me the ick.

A microbiologist who thinks Urine is sterile. Now that is worrying.

and his penis is clean...yeah, right...

Thank you @Calliopespa . That is it - I felt it was a total overreaction to just refuse to eat any of the meat. My sister had bought some super expensive nice lamb too.

I guess the upside to all of this was that there was more lamb to go round. My dad loves lamb, so he had a good second helping.

Very much this. All the posters siding with the DH and the DH himself have undoubtedly encountered worse from a restaurant kitchen.

True, but it's different when you KNOW.