AIBU to be upset - comment at Ru Paul’s Drag Con …

[13umpuu]

Before anyone has a moan about drag in general, please don’t, the post isn’t about that…

I’m a fan of Ru Paul’s drag race UK. I love seeing all the effort that goes into the make-up looks and I admire the creativity of the outfits. I also enjoy the behind the scenes footage of the contestants as they make friends and share their experiences.

DP got tickets to Drag Con for Xmas - an event which is a combination of shows, catwalks and meet/greet. I hadn’t asked to go and I was a bit reluctant. I’m fairly shy.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, we went and it was fun. As we were leaving I spoke to one of the performers and gushingly said how amazing I thought their dance routine/song had been (the only person I’d spoken to during the event except DP)… they really are incredibly talented. Their reply seemed very heartfelt and was something like… ‘oh that’s so sweet of you, thank you’, followed by an air kiss/hug… then they said ‘get your hair done’, as if under their breath but really very much out loud, to a group of people nearby who’d seen us speak and clearly knew the comment was about me. It was greeted with much laughter.

I felt (and still feel) so upset. Partly because it was a bit of a shock but partly because I know it’s true. I’m relatively pretty but I’m just a mum, wasn’t wearing jeans/anything really scruffy and I’m not particularly polished (and my hair probably could do with being done!).

I turned away so nobody could see and promptly burst into tears. Now I can’t stop thinking about it and feel so upset.

YABU - why be upset - it’s just a stranger making some throw away remarks to have a laugh, brush it off, it’s funny (and you’ve just said it’s true!)

YANBU - I’d be upset too

I've worked specifically in the area of sex offender treatment and my degree was partially in this area of Psychology. I definitely do know all about all the different motivations and gender stuff, you'll have to trust me.
Now I mostly teach sociology / psychology and mental health bits. 🙃

There's also space aliens, ice cream cones, zombies, amorphous blobs, clowns etc etc.
That sounds a bit more creative, a bit of variety. Not to say that I like the idea - I'd have to see it before coming to a conclusion (bloke in a dress sounds fine until you actually see it).

But we'll have to agree to disagree about drag. You haven't persuaded me at all.

Ffs no blackface was not ever about a minority group subverting powerful cultural norms, it was about white people mocking black people which is the absolute exact opposite.

You will also find that the comparison to blackface pretty widely condemned by black folks. Anyone who makes the comparison has a very limited knowledge on what blackface was.

At the time it was not considered mocking.

Just like you somehow don't see names that suggest they are a child abuser, that abortion is funny or that women stink is mocking. Funny that.

Your poor students being taught by someone still promoting the bigoted debunked pseudo-science that trans women are "malaga airport".

Maybe not by white people. Black people absolutely considered it mocking.

I don't think you understand the scientific method or what pseudo means.
Where have you got the idea agp is debunked? More and more tw including dh and kjw state openly they transitioned because they are turned on by themselves as a woman. Every drag queen I know does it because they feel sexy doing it.
All the research into adult male transitioners suggests a significant minority if not more very much do feel this.
It's not really up to you to try to police tw sexuality because it makes you feel uncomfortable.

So you do understand?
Female biological women don't find drag funny, in exactly the same way! Exactly the same.

SOME women.

How can you possibly be a sociologist and not know what pseudo means?

You're talking to "female biological women" right now.

You don't know. Wally. Seriously you cannot argue because that involves weighing up evidence which it is very clear you can't do due to your belief in gi.

Your grammar and punctuation is very poor for someone who claims to be an academic and a teacher.

I will paste this hear as it is more articulate than I can ever hope to be typing on my phone

Fitzhugh Brundage, chair of the Department of History at UNC-Chapel Hill, and editor of a fascinating book on black representation in American pop culture, Beyond Blackface.
“My immediate response,” Brundage said, “is that Cheney’s comments show very little understanding of blackface as a historical phenomenon.” One major problem with Cheney’s comparison, he explained, was the yawning gap between the immense cultural influence of blackface at its height and the comparatively low visibility of drag, even in its present RuPaul-sponsored golden age. “In the 1840s, anyone in even a moderate-sized American city had access to minstrelsy, and the rest had access to it through sheet music,” Brundage said. “It was an incredibly pervasive cultural phenomenon. Drag has never enjoyed that cultural weight.” Even if drag were harmful, its impact on American perceptions of women has been so negligible relative to that of blackface that any comparison is foolish. More important, there’s a profound difference in the power dynamics of the two forms of entertainment. “Minstrelsy was being performed by whites in positions of cultural and local power, whereas drag is performed by a marginalized group who are subject to fear and repression,” Brundage said. “To be a drag queen is not an act of privilege. It’s just not comparable.”

I'm a gay man and I can't stand drag queens, and neither can most of my friends. You'll find many gay men regard drag as an unfortunate relic that's well past its use-by date.

@TommyNever I wasn't under the impression gay men are a monolithic hivemind. Doesn't make anything I've said less true.

Every drag queen I know does it because they feel sexy doing it
Every drag queen you know?
How many do you personally know (just curious)
Also, even if some drag queens do feel sexy dressing up, what's wrong with feeling sexy?

That's surprising, as your previous posts suggested we gay men all love the drag and we need people like you to charge in here and tell all the ladies what the gay men think.

Quite a few, I've always had lots of lgb friends.
Nothing wrong with it, only if it gets taken too far so others are engaging without consent, like the gimp man recently or some tw.

Please quote where I said all gay men love drag.

Ok I'm getting whiplash now trying to keep up with the goalpost movements 😁

Nobody was talking about gimp men or without consent, nobody's said that's Ok, we're on about drag!

obv not all, but a great many do.

Some people can't tell the difference between drag, trans women and the gimp man which should tell you all you need to know about their critical thinking skills.

You go to an event known for being bitchy and are surprised when someone makes a bitchy remark????