Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this may be one red flag too many...

139 replies

OrchardBlack · 14/01/2024 17:23

Posting for traffic.

Been seeing a lovely man for about 3 months. He is kind and thoughtful, has his shit together, sex is good etc.etc.

Last night we went on a night out in London and he ended up shouting at me in the street because I had been talking to a lovely bunch of girls (with him I might add) and getting him involved in the conversation, I'm a sociable person and like meeting new people, but he got in a massive huff about it and it ruined the whole night. I was crying. He was very apologetic and said its his own insecurities (been cheated on). Utterly remorseful today and earlier said his mum would be 'disgusted with my behaviour last night' (?)

Other things that have got me worried -

  1. He said he loved me after about 4 weeks. I've not said it back. He says regularly how I've rocked his world, never felt like this before etc etc. Seems v soon.

  2. Keeps a list on his phone of all the women he's slept with.

  3. Told me an ex he was with 15 years ago or so once called the Police on him during an argument. Said he pulled a fireplace off the wall??

He cried last night when I said I wanted to finish things and it shouldn't be this hard 3 months on. He would be, in his words, absolutely devastated, and practically begged me not to leave him.

SO....AIBU and reading too much into this for what is otherwise a good relationship or should I follow my instinct and accept these are red flags??

YABU - Give him a shot, you're overthinking
YANBU - Run.

OP posts:
PubicZirconia · 14/01/2024 17:24

RUN

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 14/01/2024 17:25

How many red flags do yu want to keep collecting?

You have more than enough at this stage.

Lottapianos · 14/01/2024 17:25

'He cried last night when I said I wanted to finish things and it shouldn't be this hard 3 months on'

You're spot on, it shouldn't be anywhere near this hard 3 months in. Run. Too many red flags

Bbq1 · 14/01/2024 17:26

Why was he upset because you were by chatting to a group of women?

Jojobees · 14/01/2024 17:27

Are you waiting until you have enough red flags to make bunting?
Run. Now. Very far away.

wellhello24 · 14/01/2024 17:27

Run and don’t look back.

Sherrycat · 14/01/2024 17:27

It’s only going to get worse! Chuck him back.

Thepeopleversuswork · 14/01/2024 17:28

Run. Fucking hell. Run like hell.

He keeps a list of people he’s slept with? That’s getting into stalker territory.

Get the hell out of dodge.

Frostyloz · 14/01/2024 17:29

A man who shouts at you in the street is a man who will do worse in time. He was sorry, until next time. Then he’ll be sorry again. Run now before you get in too deep.

dephlogisticated · 14/01/2024 17:30

So many red flags. It's horrible but please don't see him again, it'll hurt worse in the long run if you stick with this one.

TheFoz · 14/01/2024 17:30

Run. And then run faster. What a knob.

Planesmistakenforstars · 14/01/2024 17:31

Been seeing a lovely man for about 3 months

HE IS NOT LOVELY WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING

Mumofyellows · 14/01/2024 17:32

This is a huge red flag, in your shoes in would definitely end things now. I can't see how this can continue with your doubts and how he has behaved. It's really not worth it.

TheNewSchmoo · 14/01/2024 17:32

Number 2 had me shouting hell yeah, before I even read anymore

zen1 · 14/01/2024 17:32

Run - and then congratulate yourself for not wasting any more of your life sticking around to see what the next red flag would be.

He has a history of violence, the police have been involved. Follow your instincts and block him on everything straight away.

nutbrownhare15 · 14/01/2024 17:33

Your instincts are entirely spot on. He'll shout at you in the street after 3 months? What will he do after 6 months, a year, 3 years, in private? Do your future self a massive favour and end it now. In fact I'm quite worried about how he's going to react so please have a think about how to end it in a way that will keep you safe.

MissusKay · 14/01/2024 17:33
Do Not Touch Sex Ed GIF by HannahWitton

Run! Don't put up with his BS!

roundtable · 14/01/2024 17:33

Run and fling this one back into the sea. Well done for having the self awareness to realise that this is not right.

Newsenmum · 14/01/2024 17:33

What I can never understand is how women start with the phrase ‘he’s a lovely man’.

This isn’t lovely! What counts as lovely?

Lunabetty · 14/01/2024 17:39

RUN

Angelsrose · 14/01/2024 17:57

I hope you're already running. Go far and fast away from this man.

Dacadactyl · 14/01/2024 17:59

No this is not OK.

I've been with my husband 17 years and he's never made me cry.

SchoolQuestionnaire · 14/01/2024 18:00

You know the answer but this fuckwit has you questioning yourself. You are absolutely right, it shouldn’t be this hard after 3 months. Please just get rid.

Thementalloadisreal · 14/01/2024 18:03

Insecurity from being cheated on means you can’t chat to people on a night out?
Sounds like he’ll get very controlling very quickly using that excuse.

Northernsouloldies · 14/01/2024 18:03

He hasn't got his shit together He Is A Grade A Nut, Gtf away from him.

Swipe left for the next trending thread