To think this may be one red flag too many...

[OrchardBlack]

Posting for traffic.

Been seeing a lovely man for about 3 months. He is kind and thoughtful, has his shit together, sex is good etc.etc.

Last night we went on a night out in London and he ended up shouting at me in the street because I had been talking to a lovely bunch of girls (with him I might add) and getting him involved in the conversation, I'm a sociable person and like meeting new people, but he got in a massive huff about it and it ruined the whole night. I was crying. He was very apologetic and said its his own insecurities (been cheated on). Utterly remorseful today and earlier said his mum would be 'disgusted with my behaviour last night' (?)

Other things that have got me worried -

1. He said he loved me after about 4 weeks. I've not said it back. He says regularly how I've rocked his world, never felt like this before etc etc. Seems v soon.

2. Keeps a list on his phone of all the women he's slept with.

3. Told me an ex he was with 15 years ago or so once called the Police on him during an argument. Said he pulled a fireplace off the wall??

He cried last night when I said I wanted to finish things and it shouldn't be this hard 3 months on. He would be, in his words, absolutely devastated, and practically begged me not to leave him.

SO....AIBU and reading too much into this for what is otherwise a good relationship or should I follow my instinct and accept these are red flags??

YABU - Give him a shot, you're overthinking
YANBU - Run.

Eek, yes - Run 🏃🏼‍♀️ 🚩🚩

This. xx

YANBU my major red flag would be the third one I mean with the first I'm quite a forward and autistic person so I often say things like I love you very early on in relationships. Also the list on his phone it's something me and my mates do I wonder read much into it

However if an ex called the police and he's capable of such anger of ripping a fireplace off the wall? Yep red flag and a road I've been down before and wouldn't go down again

The good thing is, he showed his true colours in only 3 months, before you had time to get too invested in the relationship.

Well done for seeing the red flags, and acting on them.

Tell him you’ll keep his number in case you’re needing any home renovations done?

Get rid of him.

Well done, @OrchardBlack , for getting rid of this toxic man.

Well done OP!

make sure your doors are locked and try not for a while to be out alone etc, sadly I do t honk this will be the last you hear from him. I think he will be in touch to pick up something he left at yours/deliver flowers to apologise, call to ‘talk about’ and apologise etc

avoid all contact and good luck and great work on cracking no on and doing it! I hope you have a nicer night out next time x

Smart move OP!

And who the fuck keeps a list of all the people they have slept with?

You have enough red flags to make bunting. Run.

Jesus Christ, get rid of this freak! How cringe that you already slept with him. Run and block.

He's not punched her in the face yet

So glad to read your updates.
So, so glad.

Just incase though - RUN AND DONT LOOK BACK.

Nothing ‘lovely’ about him - what a bizarre choice of words.

We’ll never know since you thankfully dumped him, but why on earth were his ‘insecurities’ triggered by you talking to a group of girls….?

No no no ! To many massive huge red flags ! Run

LEG IT.

Run run run. This guy has problems. Sounds mental

Thank goodness you’ve dumped him. Goodbye kiss 🤮🤮🤮. Hideous.

@Silverbirchtwo are you the 1% that voted YABU? Something wrong with your head as well

Well done OP, I was a bit worried regarding if you could break up safely but sounds like you managed alright.

My ex cried when I tried to break him up with 2.5 months in.

I feel this kind of behaviour is a red flag in itself because it’s one thing going home to cry but sobbing in front of a fairly new partner is a bit manipulative.

I ended up breaking up with him later that month via text because I began to think he was unpredictable and didn’t want to do it in person in case he made it difficult.

kudos to you for not being swayed or intimidated by his manipulation. What shocks me about these type of guys is instead of just treating their partner better and fixing their behaviour they’d rather carry on how they like but then act super dramatic and attempt to manipulate their ex when they are dumped.

Stay on your guard for this one as it may not be the last time you hear from him.

This is cheering. Well done, @OrchardBlack! Your future self will thank you ... by tomorrow, I should think 😁

Thank you all so much.

I woke up this morning feeling considerably lighter. Will keep an eye on it though. I told him in no uncertain terms not to come to my house but he was in a bit of a state and I can imagine not thinking clearly so will be extra careful.

I have strong boundaries (friends and family call me 'too picky' when really I just settled too many times before and been miserable) but to me this was a non starter and like PP's have said would only have got worse.

RUN! that's sounds like it has thr potential to develop into something horrible!

Run

I have 😊

Have you got a video doorbell in case he turns up? Make sure he’s blocked everywhere (email addresses etc.)

It’s worrying you described him as a “lovely man”. A lovely man wouldn’t behave like that. You need to do some work on your boundaries before dating again.