DS being bullied for his coat! It’s not that weird is it?

[Packofnerves]

DS turned 7 in dec and I brought him a new coat something different.He absolutely loved it and had lots of compliments from his friends at footie. But his school friends seem to pick up on everything and are so critical.

His school friends keep asking him why his coat is like that. It looks silly and it’s not a proper coat. He stopped wearing it for a little while and then wore it again on Friday and it’s the same stupid questions from them again.

https://www.napapijri.co.uk/shop/en-gb/npj-gb/sale-kids/rainforest-pocket-anorak-jacket-na4gna?variationId=041

He’s been odd all day today so withdrawn sitting in his room all day wouldn’t come to the park with me and his siblings. Refusing to get dresssed and sitting in his pyjamas and seems to get tearful really quickly.

I don’t know what to do!

Your poor son, kids can be awful to one another.

The coats probably not the issue though. If someone is targeted to be the butt of jokes, kids will find something to tease them for.

In your shoes I’d be talking to the teacher about how they can nip this bullying behaviour in the bud now.

Does it have a zip like a coat or os it over the head? Hard to tell. If it doesn't surely they just mean its not a normal coat that undoes down the middle? Generally 7yr olds don't care too much.

My 22 YO DS wore one of these coats to school when he was a teen.

I have a 13 YO DS and boys his age still wear them. DS13 doesn't, but he does wear his great grans faux fur jacket 😁

I don’t really few like asking about someone’s coat is bullying. 7 year olds aren’t known for their tact, diplomacy or impulse control. It’s not hot a zip down the front which strikes me as a bit of a faff, which is probably what his mates are getting at.

£100+ for an anorak is absolutely barmy though.

He sounds amazing!

It’s a really nice coat.

This definitely isn’t about the coat. They decided they wanted to pick on him and just chose the first thing they noticed. Kids can be absolutely awful like that. I remember a kid at my school, when I was six or seven, being picked on relentlessly one lunchtime because he had a cold roast chicken drumstick and a bread roll on his lunchbox instead of a sandwich.

I agree with others that it sounds like bullying. Speak to the school because long term, low level bullying (ie not physically beating him up which schools will pick up on) can go under the radar and cause serious long term harm to self esteem. Nip it in the bud as others have said.

Talk to the school, it is encouraged that children do not comment on someone else's appearance or choices unless it is a positive comment. So no making fun of coats, lunch bags, water bottles, hair styles. This extends to handwriting and drawing skills.

School should address it effectively and if you can name names it helps them keep an eye on those specific children in relation to your son. Keep a diary of incidents just in case.

The coat is lovely, he should be able to wear what he wants, don't save it for weekends.

The truth is they are probably jealous. I remember getting bullied about wearing earmuffs when they first came out in the 80s. One little cow took them off my head and threw them in the mud.
Low and behold the next year, every one of them was wearing them!
And that was a pattern in my school years.

I agree with this.

Also, is this the first time he has mentioned kids saying anything mean? Has it just started with this coat?

I would go to any lengths to avoid my kid being a target. Get him whatever coats his friends are wearing

Those coats are so popular where we live.
Usually with older kids tbh due to the cost so you’d think theyve be envious!
kids are cruel and a bit weird.

Yes my eldest has this exact one, he’s 13. Very popular at his school, I’m surprised OP’s kiddo is being teased for it. How horrible and sad.

Also got it in the Black Friday sale on Very.

OP can you buy him a cheaper Asda one and save the nicer one for weekends and school hols? Maybe copy one of the others boys coats? You shouldn’t have to but in this case I would.

It looks cute, something I would definitely buy for my kids if it was a bit cheaper.

I had a look at some of their coats, I might get one for myself, they look really nice.

I suppose there is a zip on the side?

I think bullies will use anything as a target.

It looks unusual to me- is it not front opening.
Teach you son some comebacks, he has to learn not to crumble at a bit of teasing

It's lovely I was expecting a big orange & green puffer type thing

Don't replace the coat why should you! Also I don't agree with buying another coat because of some bratty comments from 7yo's - speak to the teacher about their bullying

I’m going to talk to him tomorrow and take him out he just seems so distant and I’m worried maybe it’s bothering more than I thought. He’s like a shell of the child he use to be.

It’s a nice coat, a bit different from the norm as it’s like a hoodie, you shouldn’t have to, but he’s 7 buy him another coat and see if it stops.

are they being unkind or asking questions?

does your ds like the coat?

They are actually really popular with older kids and not cheap. I'd personally keep that as a good jacket and get a cheaper one for school as my sons often end up manky anyway.

Sorry OP

This is going to be about something more complex than a coat.

i hope he's okay.

something being ‘expensive’ is relative. Maybe Op is very well off.

either way not the point of the thread

That is THE coat to have here. DS has it (from Vinted) and most of his friends!

My kid is 6 and I haven't seen any of her friends wearing a coat like that. Small town not that far away from London. I don't think that matters at all but if the question is "is this coat very different to coats that 7 year olds usually wear", the answer in these parts at least is "yes".

I'd talk to the school but also give him a choice about what coat to wear. I understand you not wanting them to win but you're not the one going into school with the coat on every day.

I’m thinking the same! He came through the doors on Friday and told me right away so it must have been bothering him. Now I’m thinking that I didn’t handle it properly and DH getting riled up about it didn’t help.

Your husband wasn’t very helpful telling him he should have something to say back without giving him any suggestions or coaching. If he seems withdrawn and upset it’s possible that he’s being picked on more generally and that the coat is just something else to focus on. I think it’s a good idea to take him out and listen to him. If it’s just the coat suggest what he could say ( I like it so what’s the problem) but I have seen children picked on for their bag, shoes etc when other kids are wearing much the same thing as part of general bullying.

Showed my dc (10 and up), asked what they thought of it and they said it wasn't a coat as didn't have a zip up the front. They said it looked like a weird hoodie.
Everyone has different opinions however your son shouldn't be made to feel bad about his coat by unkind school friends.