DS being bullied for his coat! It’s not that weird is it?

[Packofnerves]

DS turned 7 in dec and I brought him a new coat something different.He absolutely loved it and had lots of compliments from his friends at footie. But his school friends seem to pick up on everything and are so critical.

His school friends keep asking him why his coat is like that. It looks silly and it’s not a proper coat. He stopped wearing it for a little while and then wore it again on Friday and it’s the same stupid questions from them again.

https://www.napapijri.co.uk/shop/en-gb/npj-gb/sale-kids/rainforest-pocket-anorak-jacket-na4gna?variationId=041

He’s been odd all day today so withdrawn sitting in his room all day wouldn’t come to the park with me and his siblings. Refusing to get dresssed and sitting in his pyjamas and seems to get tearful really quickly.

I don’t know what to do!

Has to be jealousy. That is a really cool coat. Teach him to ignore others opinions when it comes to his clothes. When my daughter was very young, I would role play with her so she would be ready to handle herself when situations presented themselves. For example, ‘Dude, that coat is weird.’ Answer, ‘I like weird.’ Then change the subject.

Children get bullied over so much these day:
Don't have a coat
Have a coat - not the 'right' coat
Have a bed time
Wear their uniform
Don't wear their uniform

It's depressing

It's probably jealousy if it's a fashionable coat!

My dd got bullied for her coat when she was in Y4, but it really was not about the coat- it was two other friends bullying her to cement their own friendship as 'besties' by leaving her out, saying mean things and laughing at her and the coat was just something they chose to ridicule even though there was nothing unusual or different about it from their own coats. They laughed at her perfectly ordinary school shoes too!

The kids are probably jealous that are picking on him or they do not know the brand. footy friends probably have similar or know the brand of the jacket and know it’s of quality

My DS wore this coat a few years ago in 6th form, they were the ‘in’ label and all the kids were wearing them. It is a perfectly good coat for school, washes really well and easy to apply waterproofing.

Your poor little boy!

I agree that this is a lot more to do with than the coat. Kids don’t really pay particularly attention to appearance until a little older.

It could be that the class bully/influencer made a comment and the other kids went along with it but don’t necessarily have negative views towards your son or his coat.

It could also be that at 7, your little boy may not be able to adequately articulate what is going on and this incident may be indicative of a much bigger issue.

Talk to his teacher asap to find out what’s going on. I’d be extremely concerned about how withdrawn he is. I’d also buy him a cheap coat in M&S or Sainsbury’s purely for his own mental well-being.

Please let us know you get on.

The thing is with changing things to try and appease bullies, is where does it end? You can change the coat, then the trainers, then what? Hair cut? Personality?

I wouldn’t force the child to wear the coat if he doesn’t want to, but I would be making it very clear that he isn’t the one with the problem, and trying to build up his confidence.

I like the coat. Absolutely nothing wrong or offensive about it.

Looks a very standard coat. Definitely wouldn't pay more than £40 for it though

My dcs have had these before ( used them for skiing) and they are really cosy. I think they are great but I suspect it’s the old green eyed monster: jealous people, esp children, are just the worst. He’s quite little to make him tough it out. I’d have a chat about jealousy and agree to get a cheaper one for around those idiots on condition he still gets use out if it when not with them. If he were older I’d explain that you need to walk your own walk but this is a partway step towards that.

I completely agree with you on this point. My suggestion was not to appease the bullies or anything like that how we but merely that this is causing him distress so I’d be removing it for now to see if his feelings of sadness remain. He’s very young to be so withdrawn and happy. I think they coat is merely symptomatic of another issue.

Jealousy at 7!! Clearly bullying, have a word with teacher.

It's a coat for an older teen not a seven year old. Pockets, hood, zip up the front is a lot more practical at that age.

Raise it with school they’re bullies nothing to do with the coat. If he had a different coat they’d pick on something else. Road men are road men as little as they are, clearly the kind of intake in your area.

Anything that's slightly different can set kids off. I think it's brilliant but they might find it odd. I'd suggest you ask him what the others are wearing and get him that - it's probably a supermarket cheapo - and keep the nice, stylish coat for weekends.

Dad's response clearly didn't help!

Some people really need to learn that 'bullying' isn't a word that needs to be used quite so often and you need to teach your child resilience not 'fighting back'.

Give them the shield not the sword.

Children asking 'why is your nose big?' Or 'why is your coat weird?' Isn't bullying or being nasty, it's curiosity, it's asking questions. Teach your children how to answer such questions factually and confidently.

If your child is happy & confident in their own skin then that's all they'll need.

Until they get to puberty of course! Then none of them are truly that for a while..

It's horrible, it has a huge logo, it was ridiculously expensive and he has to put it over his head. Buy him a school coat for school.

Great Grans fur jacket is worth getting bullied for. I was bullied for my individuality all the way through school, all stylish people are bullied.

Why do parents send their kids to school in expensive stuff, it is not the place to flaunt wealth

Maybe its not flaunting wealth.Maybe its individual choice. Maybe we should all lift our game and realise there is nothing in the rule book that states we have to bow down and conform to the supermarket shite that is used to keep everyone in their place and brow beat so as not to upset those who do not have the same inspiration. I think be bold,do not conform.do not be a sheep! My daughter is 12 and in a coat costing just a tad less than 150.00 and she is in it cos she loves it, I can afford it and am sick to death of being expected to apologise for my /our choices on what we spend our hard earned cash on. Yes it gets dragged about on the floor,yes it gets used as a temporary goal post marker..so what?!!. it is just a school coat to her just as this little boy's is to him.Its not a crime to have different things.

@whatdidshedotogetahillnamedafterher This, a thousand times over. It’s very weird to be so invested in what others spend.

7 yr olds are not the style experts, these coats are very on trend for teenagers, a brand that is very popular.

speak to school nip that shit in the bud its bullying dont let the school pooh pooh it i dont tolerate bullies and my kids new it so did school

We’ve had these and they are a great style for young ones because it’s impossible to leave the front unzipped and the cold getting at their chest. They cost a bit but they really last, wash well and ours were handed down. Everyone spends money differently 🤷🏻‍♀️I hate buying things that need replacing as it’s ecologically unsound.

This. If a ringleader bully is targeting your son the coat will just be an excuse. I would shut this down at the school now.