to cancel completely because of this?

[Blomdd]

Was due to go on a date on Friday eve. He cancelled Friday morning because he was offered a shift at work and couldn't turn it down. Gave me plenty of notice and said we can meet up next weekend instead.

For some reason I just really don't want to go now. Was really excited and looking forward to it and suddenly, just not interested. I'm not annoyed or upset, just a bit meh.

There were a few things that bothered me a bit: he can't drive, lives an hour away (mainly this) but it wasn't a deal breaker as he seems nice.

Met on OLD.

AIBU to just sack it off?

Classic 'ask a question to force get a reply' manoeuvre.

I'd just message him "I've been thinking and have decided that we live too far apart to for a relationship to be sustainable. I wish you all the best going forward."

If he doesn't 'get it' and messages with a counterargument, just block him. Don't JADE your decision.

I'd ignore the onions question, that simply invites further dialogue.

Oh god, an hour away, do you really need to date anyone at all?

I guess he’s just trying to be light hearted and funny in his most recent text, saying he is still interested, not sure you are and doesn’t want to come on to strong. If you have lost interest, that’s fine. You’re not obliged to remain interested, but all this leaping to negative conclusions about the guy on the part of some posters is inappropriate IMO, since we know so little about him. Needing the money from an extra shift doesn’t necessarily mean he’s skint. He may be saving for something, helping his mum out, who knows? 🤷‍♀️ Cancelling the date last minute for the extra shift was a bad move though. Maybe he regrets that decision/maybe he doesn’t. Either way, if you want to see him, go for it, if you don’t, don’t overthink it, just move on!

I've already messaged him saying I don't want to see him again.

@Blomdd sorry, I missed that!

The doesn't drive would be a red flag for me.

Can he not afford to learn, or has he been banned?

These would be things I'd want to be to the bottom of before I arranged a date.

You can do what you like and obviously you need to do what makes you personally feel comfortable, but sacking someone off because he doesn’t drive, man, that’s shallow. If it’s a deal breaker for you, put it in the ad.

I've already messaged him saying I don't want to see him again.

@Blomdd did he reply?

Trust your gut but maybe give it a one date chance? X

This has already been discussed. He lives 45 miles away. An hour and 20 mins in the car. He's three buses and a train journey away from me. I've already said that if he lived down the road it would be fine.

Surely how he gets to you is his business and expense? I suspect you wouldn’t want a relationship with him even if he lived nearby.

It’s kind of too much ‘reality’ too soon in a romantic relationship.

She did. He cancelled and didn’t suggest an alternative date I don’t think.

There will be other shifts but no second chance to be the best person you can be, he showed you where you are with him - cancellable.

Good to see that the romance isn't dead...........

No, it's absolutely my business whether I'd like to live near enough to someone when dating for them to pop over spontaneously, and for them to be able to stay later than 9 because they're not tied to buses and train times, or be able to drink so I don't have to drop them to the station etc. I'm allowed to make that decision prior to a first date.

Did he reply @Blomdd ?

Yes he's asking to keep my number and be friends.

This happened to me with OLD and took months of on and off talk before we met up, we've now been together for 5 years with a DS and laugh about how flakey and nervous we was, I also put him off a few times due to nerves so sometimes it can work out x

Ask your self honestly, do you perhaps think he has made an excuse to cancel, so you feel a bit rejected? I know myself being an “overthinker” that I would wonder if perhaps he had another date or just wasn’t as eager to meet me as I was him. Not saying he isn’t being genuine, but something like that would cause me to have doubts and feel deflated.

On first date and if he begs for another give it a chance maybe? Only because she seems to like him so not to regret. Xx

Not at all. It's just made me question all the other things that weren't deal breakers but were in the back of my mind. Almost feels like the moment had passed.

A) she already dealt with it

B) what? If he begs for another chance? She’s never even met him!

I wouldn’t bother to be honest.

Kinda the same deal, even if you did want to be friends. Still 'GU'.