to cancel completely because of this?

[Blomdd]

Was due to go on a date on Friday eve. He cancelled Friday morning because he was offered a shift at work and couldn't turn it down. Gave me plenty of notice and said we can meet up next weekend instead.

For some reason I just really don't want to go now. Was really excited and looking forward to it and suddenly, just not interested. I'm not annoyed or upset, just a bit meh.

There were a few things that bothered me a bit: he can't drive, lives an hour away (mainly this) but it wasn't a deal breaker as he seems nice.

Met on OLD.

AIBU to just sack it off?

He cancelled one date and people are suggesting she ignore him or send an angry message?! Complete overreactions and totally unnecessary.

This was good advice from a pp….

Personally I would just say that you can't do next weekend anyway and that realistically your lifestyles probably aren't compatible at the moment, so it was nice chatting, all the best, etc.

They may very well find lovely ladies who don't mind doing ALL the driving, or who don't drive themselves.

But if they want to widen the field and increase their chances, I'd suggest they learn how to drive (if there is no reason they cannot learn).

Actually you’re right, a more neutral message would be better.

Why would anyone write a grovelling message like that in this situation ? There's no reason for her to feel sorry.

Grovelling? Throwing a sorry in to keep it nice and polite. OK if you see it that way. I'd still say sorry for bowing out because it keeps the message nice enough rather than a fuck you type message. But we are all different in how we deal with things.

Why have they not learned to drive?

I'd leave it and move on.
It's going to be hassle for you.

I'd say, "I was disappointed that you canceled our date, as I had already arranged childcare. I'm not able to arrange childcare again for a while." That will buy you a few weeks to think about if you want to see him or not.

‘On reflection, I don’t think this is going to work for me. Take care’.
Is he actually still messaging you like before?

I would step back and not message him now to see what he does. If he does message again, I would say that I've had a chance to think and logistics in terms of distance/him not driving/childcare are going to be a bit difficult so you're going to give it a miss. Wish him all the best. Block.

I remember now seeing a bloke for a few months in my twenties. I had bought a new car and we had a day out planned in the diary for several weeks. The day before he told me he had just realised that his football team were playing and he wanted to watch it on the box. Err okay. Bye! A week or so later he very sheepishly came to my Mum and Dad's to return a couple of my things. I think he realised it hadn't been a great move.

I haven't messaged him for 24 hours but will do at some point today. Hopefully he's expecting it!

He hasn't been in touch to rearrange so I'd just leave it, nothing to cancel, he only loosely said next week without any firm plans, there's a chance he won't message again, if he does then say I've changed my mind about this, I'm not feeling this is going to work for me.

Wait to see if he messages you again. There is a high likelihood he won’t so don’t stress about messaging him.

That's your answer then.
He's not text since Friday morning- he's had a better offer.

Keep your dignity and leave it.

When his better offer go pear shape he will be back - again just ignore.

He has messaged I just haven't replied.

He cancelled your first date to do a shift at work. The first date is when he should be pulling out all the stops to impress.
So what's to stop him doing it again?
A good work ethic is incredibly important to me, but I just couldn't find this attractive.

What was his message? Was it a sort of ‘I’m sorry about Friday, but are you free on …. to go to…..?’ or something else?

Does he know you paid for childcare? I admit as my children are grown up I don’t think I’d necessarily twig that cancelling a date = costs money. I wasn’t dating when my children were an age to need babysitters, so maybe he hasn’t connected it in his mind?

No, and I don't even want to type what it was because it is such a weird thing to follow up with 😅

I’m sorry but you’re not allowed to write that sort of thing without revealing more…….

Screenshots gratefully accepted 😂.

Can't help with a reply if we can't see his message 😂

Listen to your gut here. Dont go. I think he’s rude to take an extra shift when you had a date planned. I wouldn’t agree to reschedule.

So after him cancelling, and me ignoring his last messages (for over 24 hours may I add) whilst I think of how to call it all off, he messages:

"Hey haven't heard from you in a while. Just wondering whether it's normal to put onions in lasagne or not."

Oh that’s great!

How about texting a few links, Delia, Jamie, some other people, and have a little debate about well she says, he agrees, but the other one has a different view, and he says…. Have fun with it! And don’t talk about anything else except onions 🤣.

Trust your gut on this one, for whatever reason, you are no longer feeling it. No need to rationalise it, do what feels right

This 100%