Miracle tits - does partner get to keep them?

[Boobiliciousness]

Partner has come up with a hypothetical that we (weirdly) don't agree on.

The situation: he wakes up and has a pair of actual boobs. They are normal boobs, fully attached the same way boobs are, and he says they can also help out with breastfeeding. The bonus to him is he gets to admire them. He calls them "the miracle tits".

The disagreement: I say the fictional miracle tits have to go back to wherever or whatever they came from. He says his body his choice, and that they stay.

Who is being unreasonable?

But the miracle tits cometh and the miracle tits leaveth. Fear not, for ye cannot control their passage.

I don't think this is about to manifest into an issue, don't fret.

Exactly. WTAF

What's it like going through life taking things so seriously and being so bloody miserable? Sounds like it must be awful!

The bonus to him is he gets to admire them. He calls them "the miracle tits"

Oh god. Is the rest of his 'sense of humour' this shit?

What a pointless and nasty message.

So if I asked my partner if he would rather have fingers for toes, or toes for fingers, then I’m testing the water because I’m considering some surgery?

What about when I asked him if he’d rather have a tail (which wagged) or be covered in hair? Am I secretly a furry?

No, obviously not.

It depends. Would he be okay with you keeping a willy if you woke up with one? If so, then you should both accept each other the way you are.

C'mon then, as such a fine judge of what is funny, hit us with your best joke.

This aligns with my thinking. I reckon it'd have to be all or nothing- so all hairy or all completely smooth. And not too big.

I'm not taking it seriously, honest. I do find men's obsession with tits pretty juvenile and tiresome though, especially the whole 'I don't know how you women manage to do anything but play with them all day' line.

I agree you should ask him if he'd be fine with you keeping a 'miracle penis' though. I'm guessing not...

I don't get the "admire" them point - does he think women are turned on by their own breasts? And why would he possibly think this?

Ask him whether you could keep a miracle cock or miracle beard.

I'm of the opinion that he can keep them because it's his body, but you'd be entitled to leave. And I wouldn't let anyone else breastfeed my baby.

The amount of people speaking as if this is a serious scenario/telling you to leave because of this is absolutely mind-blowing. Me and my partner make up silly hypotheticals all the time! They don’t mean anything, it’s just a bit of fun. In this case I’d say he should keep the miracle tits, but I like tits so am biased!

I don't get the "admire" them point - does he think women are turned on by their own breasts? And why would he possibly think this?

He would think this, because plenty of men get turned on by their own cocks. A male friend was telling me the other day about how he liked watching himself get aroused. Plus many men get aroused by seeing breasts. It won't occur to them that women may not think the same way, especially if they are handling (probably literally) the novelty of their own newly arrived miracle tits.

I'd wager it's considerably better than yours.

They'd have to go. I'm not being married to a man with tits (especially if they are nicer than mine!)

Exactly. And not going to lie, if I grew a penis I’d need at least a week off work for experimentation.

I guess that means I’ve got fantasies about being trans 🙄🙄🙄🙄

And not going to lie, if I grew a penis I’d need at least a week off work for experimentation.

Oh yes. I'm of the belief that female orgasms are better than male, but it would be good to find out for sure, through scientific experimentation.

I hope you are right and you obviously know your husband better than I do. If my husband came out with such an idea and wanted to keep the tits as well, I would find it a bit gross. I would wonder what sort of hypothetical idea he was going to come up with next...

yabu. His miracle tits, his choice. Ladybirds for eyelashes (as another poster mentioned) would be really annoying though.

And everyone acting as if a couple talking nonsense is some kind of red flag or means her husband is about to announce his transition really need to give their heads a wobble and question when they could no longer recognise someone else’s sense of humour.

Exactly. And I’d want to do man things with my man penis. I’d probably want a blowjob. That sort of thing.

Im in no way gay/questioning my gender/whatever. I’d just probably feel like a teenage boy and want to try everything.

And I’d imagine a man who suddenly grew a labia/vagina/breasts would want to experience something they wouldn’t experience otherwise.

Similarly, if I suddenly grew a dog tail I’d for sure chase it for a bit and run around wagging it. If I developed the ability to fly I’d fly about, and so on.

Ah yes but ladybirds for eyelashes OR nipples for earlobes? They could be upside down ladybirds, so their legs were a bit like eyelashes?

I wonder if nipple-lobes would change when it was cold.

Shit, i have to choose. In that case and with the upside option, I’ll have to go for the ladybirds. i feel like earlobe nipples would do so well in harsh weathers.

Yeah, but when threatened, ladybirds emit a foul-smelling discharge. That would be smelly yellow tears whenever you're upset or angry or scared. At least nipply earlobes could be hidden behind long hair or a hat. And earlobes are already an erotic zone for me, without nipples, so that might not be such a change.

Although it might change the nature of my next audiology appointment, but I think that would be better than the optician (to be fair, I'd rather go to the dentist or have a smear than go to the optician.) Though yellow tears are normal if they decide to use fluorescein.

He's being extremely unreasonable if he thinks that he can use them to help out with breastfeeding as well as getting to admire them! Does he think that they are going to remain pert or not turn into spaniels ears. This is so typical of men. They believe that they know what it's like being a woman, without the slightest clue!

I think that in this highly unlikely hypothetical situation, he's right - his body, his choice. You'd be free to leave him if you found them a big turn-off, same as you'd be free to leave him if he got too fat or too thin for your liking. And if by any chance this had happened to my DH when I was breastfeeding, I'd have been delighted if he offered to do his share of that.