To ask you to ‘Destroy without reading’? (Bereavement related)

[Izzy24]

Would you?

So if you were coping with clearing personal belongings and you came across a package marked as above, would you respect that person’s privacy and dispose of it without reading? Even if it was unsealed?

I'd definitely read. No question.

I would feel really bad, but I may have to look :-/

😱😱😱😱😱 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I'm a terrible person but I would have to look.

Well presumably it was something they wanted to keep for themselves but didn’t want anyone else to see. 🤷‍♀️

Depends who it was. If it was dh I'd read it. It could contain something like an affair or hidden kids that would change my view of him.

My mum etc? I wouldn't read. Some people have rights to secrets from me and some don't have rights to certain secrets.

I think I'd probably look.

No I would open it

I'm too nosey

When I was clearing my mother’s house, I found my father’s letters to her. There was no instruction to destroy without reading but that’s what we did. I can’t imagine want to invade someone’s privacy by reading stuff never intended for you.

Is it your box you're thinking of doing this too OP? If so, destroy it all now.

I found a bundle of love letters that my parents wrote to one another before their wedding. The dates on the envelopes prove this. Attached was a note to destroy without reading. I shredded them.

I’d read it because I couldn’t cope with the wondering about it afterwards

I would have a little peak to gauge what type of information was inside to decide first. Might be as innocent as old love letters or something really important for family history.

I would read it, 100%.

I wouldn't even hesitate or question myself - I'd 100% rip it open and read. Very poor self control though 🤷

If it was so important that it shouldn’t be read they’d destroy it themselves surely.

It sounds like mind games from the grave

Yes, I would respect it. I have full access to my late husband's phone including his emails and text/WhatsApp messages I have never once read any of the messages that weren't sent to me. Everyone is entitled to keep their private things private, even in death.

I doubt it. I'd have a look to see what it was unless I'd been told in advance. If it was stuff I didn't want to see (medical information, letters with very intimate content (meaning for me sexual content rather than emotional whether letters or like @Bobbotgegrinch situation photographs), I'd destroy it but not without having a look to see what it was. I'd never thought about comprising images before I read @Bobbotgegrinch post I'd thought more about private letters and diaries for the older generation. Now I've read that, if it was a VHS tape - I'd get someone else to watch 1 minute of it and report back in case it was porn.

Having said that I said to my parents that if they have stuff they don't want me to read like personal diaries or letters, they should destroy it or get rid of it because I would definitely read it. I wouldn't be able to help it.

I think most people know that people are curious, the more so if its your close relatives, and so if you mark something like that and your children/partner/close relative finds it, they are 99.9% certain to read it or have a look.

I guess I wouldn't know until that moment.
One elderly relative burned all the love letters between her and her husband when she was elderly because she didn't want anyone else to read them.
I probably wouldn't look......

Not to make light of this at all, but I might do this for my children.

Just a note inside an envelope marked liked that reading, “I knew one of you nosey buggers would open it! love you!” maybe stick a tenner in.

I know exactly which one of my three children l would definitely open something like that without hesitation already.

Yeah, this. If you really didnt want someone to see it why on earth create a big mystery about it- why not just get rid?

I’m just wondering why someone would keep something and mark it with this. Why keep it? Why not destroy it themselves? Seems too temping to risk it?

I would definitely look. First just a flick through to check no important documents are there. Then for anything else I'd scan read it and destroy it if there wasn't anything important in it. If I found something that impacted me or someone I loved, I'd read the whole thing.

I wouldn't share what I discovered (if anything) unless it directly impacted someone else.

If someone wants complete privacy, they should destroy it themselves.

If you don't want your secrets surviving you, you destroy them while you can. In my clan labelling something like that would be a red rag to a bull and I would be first in line. I would suggest the deceased is using reverse psychology.

In 1990ish, my great uncle died and we all discovered his BUF uniform. It totally destroyed his granddaughter who had loved him more than life itself. I got to tell my.mim, I told you so.

Like others, I think I'd at least like to see what form the contents take. I'd feel a bit odd just binning with no idea what the items were. That said, once you'd seen what they were I can imagine curiosity might get the better of you. Tough one!