Disappointed with birthday trip

[Holidaybluees]

NC as I’m ashamed of how I’m feeling. DP booked us a cruise for my milestone birthday this summer. It’s going to two city locations in Europe. He’s put a lot of thought into it and couldn’t wait to tell me about it. I’m incredibly grateful he’s booked something but I’m so sad at the same time. For his milestone birthday last year I took him to Europe (beach holiday) and we went to a water park as he loves them. 5 star all inclusive adults only hotel. The cruise he’s booked is adult only but we only get less than a full day in each location.

I love a beach holiday and water sports like jet skiing so whilst I’m so grateful I’m so confused about what he’s booked. My birthday is in the summer so I said I didn’t mind going away later in the year when flights are cheaper. I assumed this made it clear I wanted a beach holiday (like for like) but clearly I wasn’t clear enough as there’s no flights involved for my trip.

I don’t know what to do and I’ve felt a bit teary today as it feels like he doesn’t know me at all. One of the places we’re going to is on my list of holidays but it’s not where I’d go for a big birthday. I have no interest in the other city. I don’t know if I can say anything to him without seeming like a bitch but I’m so deflated. Should I say something or suck it up?

I am sure there are many, many posters under 60 who have the sense to realise this is not a big deal and that the OP is very lucky to go on so many holidays and to have a partner who genuinely tried to surprise her with something different.

Exactly.

So he has booked a trip to a city that is on your list to visit, it is a quick trip because he knows you don't like long times in cities but yet uptrend you moaned about it only being one day in each city? The poor guy can't win!

Please don't come back and update. You must have better things to do.

that’s your opinion. OP (and he DH) obviously don’t share it and that’s perfectly fine as well.

For me personally: 30 did have a bit of a “different feel” to me.
Being a 30 yo woman/a woman in my 30ies instead of a woman in my 20ies.

It may sound silly but I really did feel as if that had different connotations (socially) and it did make me reassess my goals, life etc (IIRC).

@LuluBlakey1 - I'd like an update. If you don't want one hide the thread.

OP you sound very spoilt. But as he is your DH he will know this about you. Therefore he probably wont be surprised if tell him your disapointed with the trip he's put a lot of thought into and ask him to cancel . So go ahead and tell him. I think YABU but then again you aren't 😕

@Spartak

So you agreed to a surprise, and he's put thought into giving you one, but that's wrong?
If you wanted a fortnight in Lanzarote/Benidorm/wherever then you should have told him that

This. He's not a bloody mind reader.
You have to say specifically what you want if you have something in mind, not a "I don't really knoooow" dither or "surprise me" 🙄😁
To be teary and miserable mindset over it before you've even gone on it is pretty ridiculous tbh.
With an attitude like that you won't enjoy it as much as you could if you were positive about it and going to make the most of it.

Lots of people are saying he was thoughtless to get it wrong but OP has admitted that she has a) mentioned one of the cities they are going to as somewhere she is interested in and b) that she’d like a cruise? And they always go on beach holidays so I’m not surprised he thought something different might be nice for a birthday present.

Yes perhaps she meant a Caribbean cruise but you can’t get those for a £2k budget.

That's fine. But it's not true to say that turning 30 is the start of a' new chapter' in most people's lives. It really isn't. Some people might feel something seismic about it, but in general people's lives don't change much when they go from 29 to 30 (unless it happens to coincide with changing jobs, having a baby or something like that)

The reason I let him plan it is because he wanted to repay me planning his 30th. We Agreed to surprise each other.
Don't agree to surprises if you're going to be fussy and teary about them FFS lol.
As for people saying 30 isn't a milestone birthday, ignore them - MN is totally weird when it comes to adults daring to enjoy celebrating their birthday.
I personally have birthday weeks now 😁

@LuluBlakey1

speak for yourself

@Whatineed

Its a lot of money to waste on something you didn't want or never expressed a wish for.

Except the OP did.

She got what she asked for but not what she wanted.

I've honestly never come across anyone who doesn't like Bruges

We went there as newlyweds many years ago. It was blissful. Romantic.

And you can't beat those chips and mayonnaise.

sure. But that argument applies to every birthday (with some fairly rare exceptions due to potential legal ramifications). Whether that’s 10, 30 or 100.

and yet people - well, many people but obviously not all - still assign meaning to these ultimately random dates.

Well you are really twisting what everybody has been saying there.

Because as far as I can see most people are saying you should have spoken up, the difference being that most people are saying you should have done so before he booked something and not expected him to mind read and then throw a tantrum when he got it wrong.

Only on MN could a DH be called a shit husband for booking a cruise instead of a beach holiday 😂

You sound extremely ungrateful and I'm sitting here upset because I would love a gift like this.

And lazy '@belgiumchocolates

But you need to put it in context.

The OP spent £2000 on exactly the sort of holiday her partner wanted for his own birthday, and she then gets this in return for her birthday (at £700 cheaper).

I think that sucks.

I agree with this.

A nice cruise in the med would be lovely, but a cruise from Southampton - Amsterdam - Bruges sounds a bit flat, especially if you love the sun so would unlikely embrace any bad/wet weather.

30 is a milestone birthday. The only reason 20 isn't is because of 21. It might not be as big as 40/50/60 etc but it's still a milestone.

In future you'll know you need to spell out what you want. Better than a disappointing surprise.

A lot of people have commented saying their DH doesn’t even say happy birthday or get them a card. That’s what the OP is talking about - their terrible blokes doesn’t mean the OP can’t have higher expectations of hers

Done 3 cruises. Haven't managed to get gastro yet!! The only time I have been ill on a cruise was when I had tonsillitis but I'd already caught the cold from my Sister whilst we was still in Florida which then turned into tonsillitis whilst we were on the ship.

You say you always go on a beach holiday.
So really he has in his head booked a surprise holiday that is different to what you normally do, because he considers your special birthday is important to him.
Thank the gods for this man who made an effort and planned something childfree for a romantic break.