Disappointed with birthday trip

[Holidaybluees]

NC as I’m ashamed of how I’m feeling. DP booked us a cruise for my milestone birthday this summer. It’s going to two city locations in Europe. He’s put a lot of thought into it and couldn’t wait to tell me about it. I’m incredibly grateful he’s booked something but I’m so sad at the same time. For his milestone birthday last year I took him to Europe (beach holiday) and we went to a water park as he loves them. 5 star all inclusive adults only hotel. The cruise he’s booked is adult only but we only get less than a full day in each location.

I love a beach holiday and water sports like jet skiing so whilst I’m so grateful I’m so confused about what he’s booked. My birthday is in the summer so I said I didn’t mind going away later in the year when flights are cheaper. I assumed this made it clear I wanted a beach holiday (like for like) but clearly I wasn’t clear enough as there’s no flights involved for my trip.

I don’t know what to do and I’ve felt a bit teary today as it feels like he doesn’t know me at all. One of the places we’re going to is on my list of holidays but it’s not where I’d go for a big birthday. I have no interest in the other city. I don’t know if I can say anything to him without seeming like a bitch but I’m so deflated. Should I say something or suck it up?

Based on the overreaction I really hope she doesn't have bigger problems. Then again maybe she's overreacting because there's something deeper going on.

It really isnt- most people get to 30
50 onwards is when they start dropping off

@Doggymummar she said it's a five night cruise!

Honestly, just go back and read her posts!

I would go in the holiday and try and enjoy it.

Next year go on the holiday you really want to- book it yourself and enjoy.

tbh I’m not going to suck it up. I think this is a terrible thing to instill in women. How long have the women on here with shit husbands been sucking it up? Maybe their relationships would different if they spoke up more. I can tell him how I feel without being a complete bitch and that’s what I intend to do.

Could not have put it better myself!

Some people hate airports and flying so leaving from England is ideal for them and a big part of the cruise is the facilities on the ship which they can experience on sea days.

You’re being ungrateful end of. Most people would be over the moon at a holiday as a present.

I don't understand why it is such a big deal what you do on this one trip when you clearly have plenty of other holidays. You've a life of beach holidays ahead if you want them.

If it was your 90th or you'd scraped together money for a single holiday of a lifetime, you'd have a point (if you hadn't agreed to surprise each other).

Why not just go, relax, see if you like it, and plan another holiday of the kind you had in mind for the future? Agree you shouldn't do surprises - you don't seem the type to enjoy them, which is fine.

For all you know, he might have preferred something that was more of a novelty for his birthday. But you are both fine - plenty of time to enjoy life.

The post at 8.25 confirms this!

You've asked if you're being unreasonable, people are saying yes you are and you're responding by telling them you're not. 🙄

I think this is a wind up.

@Holidaybluees no, It's the fact you're 29 and are so closed minded you can't fathom something that's not sitting on a beach or around a pool to the extent that you're disappointed (to the point of tears) your husband has thought to try something different.

Yeah you're right your DH is really shit! LTB!

🙄

🤔

I went to a pub for my 30th and a zoo for my 40th, and I enjoyed both! Can't imagine complaining because someone booked me a cruise.

NRTT so it’s probably all been said.

Yes it’s really annoying when you get something expensive you wouldn’t have chosen.

However. A cruise is the best of both worlds. You’ll be able to lie out on deck and get sun and pool. You’ll be able able to eat whatever you want when you want. You can dress up or spend all day in shorts.
Amsterdam and Bruges are great for a few hours. You get off go and see the main sights ( book those yourself) and have exactly the same experience as if you were on a city break. Only instead if a dull hotel you are on the water looking over the city.

Make sure you get a drinks package if alcohol isn’t included and you are totally all inclusive.

I think it’s worth trying. A cruise is a totally different holiday and feels like it once you are on board.

Try something different for a change, you might enjoy it.

OP, whist I understand this isn't what you would have planned for your birthday, with due respect, you can book a beach holiday any time. There is nothing special about a beach holiday! So maybe that is why he opted for something different?

@thermostatic no, she has used MN as lots of people do - to test her thinking by reading other people's perspectives and readjusting or reconfirming how she feels. It's supposedly a safe space for that kind of thing...

If he only just booked it there may be a cooling off period.

You need to talk to him ASAP.

Ongoing I think you are both going to have to agree that big holidays shouldn't be on the surprise list. They need to be planned together

I do get how that if you were expecting a 5* beach holiday, going on a cruise to Bruges and Amsterdam is underwhelming even if it is on the Virgin one which is meant to be amazing.

And that may be exactly why he has chosen something different. A new experience for you ! I feel for the poor guy , i really do, I think he deserves a new wife.

He booked it yesterday in the new year's sale.

I think that says in all. The average summer temperature for both destinations is 20°C and out at sea will be cooler.

Honestly...after what you did for his birthday I would be LIVID.

And FWIW I rarely get angry.

You said in passing you can’t wait to go to the beach. You also said in passing you want to visit x city. He just picked up on the wrong hint unfortunately OP. Sometimes if you want something specific you need to be clearer not drop vague hints “in passing.”

”For my birthday I’d really like to go somewhere hot and sunny, ideally long / short haul. I don’t mind when in the year we go.” That allows a surprise location but ensures you get what you want if it’s really important to you.

My dh is the same! I learnt after a few years to not let him do surprises for me as I was always a bit dissapointed. I now give him a few specific options and he chooses one of them. (He once bought me a very expensive outfit as I’d seen it in a shop window and said “Look at that! Beautiful”. What I meant was it would be amazing on someone with the physique of Naomi Campbell, not a 5ft 2 woman with a DD bust 😂. I had to be honest and I took it back.)

It's a bug birthday but not what cones to mind when someone says "milestone birthday."

Milestone birthdays tend to be 50, 60, 70, 80, etc... as in, lucky to be here type of numbers. But of course, this is my personal opinion.