Disappointed with birthday trip

[Holidaybluees]

NC as I’m ashamed of how I’m feeling. DP booked us a cruise for my milestone birthday this summer. It’s going to two city locations in Europe. He’s put a lot of thought into it and couldn’t wait to tell me about it. I’m incredibly grateful he’s booked something but I’m so sad at the same time. For his milestone birthday last year I took him to Europe (beach holiday) and we went to a water park as he loves them. 5 star all inclusive adults only hotel. The cruise he’s booked is adult only but we only get less than a full day in each location.

I love a beach holiday and water sports like jet skiing so whilst I’m so grateful I’m so confused about what he’s booked. My birthday is in the summer so I said I didn’t mind going away later in the year when flights are cheaper. I assumed this made it clear I wanted a beach holiday (like for like) but clearly I wasn’t clear enough as there’s no flights involved for my trip.

I don’t know what to do and I’ve felt a bit teary today as it feels like he doesn’t know me at all. One of the places we’re going to is on my list of holidays but it’s not where I’d go for a big birthday. I have no interest in the other city. I don’t know if I can say anything to him without seeming like a bitch but I’m so deflated. Should I say something or suck it up?

You don't have up get off in Bruges if you don't want to.

Or can book a cruise based trip to somewhere different-ie those weird upright roller boards around a city? Or take advantage of cheap spa offers on board.

I don't like surprises much and I do all holiday planning (I don't think I am ND) so closest we get for birthdays is partner cab make sone plans and present to me before booked (and that's just a few things around London!) in 13 years he had never planned us a holiday-I do and get approval before booking. As it's both our cash paying for it.

If you go on cruise critic you can see many guides to alternative things to do in each port and recommend private companies who organise stuff. See the range of options anywhere so can get something that appeals.

@Doggymummar you've got it all wrong...... but carry on!

I originally thought you were a bit of a diva but to but to be fair when I turned 30 a two day whistletop cruise to Bruges and Amsterdam wouldn’t have floated my boat at that age pardon the pun!

Hope you manage to resolve things

He hasn’t understood you at all. He has thought you were open to adventure and liked to try new things, to travel, do something different, but you just want to go to the beach and not do these

personally I’d cover the deposit and ask him to cancel , just say that you don’t want to do anything different, just lay on a beach.

Oh bore off. People have different interests and different ideas of what they want from a holiday. This is very much not what they want for a special trip.

Can you understand people having different tastes?

Well of course I'd have loved a holiday or something, but I got what I got. I'm a grown adult, I'm not going to cry and throw a tantrum because I've been booked on a holiday that isn't my preference of destination. I just think it's sad to be in tears because of this.

I don’t get the argument around whether 30 is a milestone. Surely all birthdays ending in 0 have some significance. Obviously not everyone celebrates them to the degree the OP wants to but that’s individual choice.

I think the way this was set up was bound to end in disappointment. The budget and the expectations are difficult to marry. I know you said you got such a holiday but they’re hard to find and when searching he likely found that too. He probably remembered you saying you’d like to do a cruise and a Caribbean cruise would go far beyond the budget. Virgin are at the top end of cruises and so he probably thought it’d be suited to a celebration. I guess you just have to ask to see. At least you’ve learnt that holidays are better planned together.

The ship stops for excursions it's not a two night cruise

One of those stops is Bruges for 8 hours the other is Amsterdam

The rest of the days they will be at sea, you know cruising....

So no it's nothing like your experience!

🙄

Book your own holiday next year so it saves your boyfriend from being slagged off for doing it.

I'm really surprised by your age. With all this obsessive talk of beach holidays and flying and the airport excitement (did you grow up in a field or something?) I was expecting you to be turning 60. I'm quite surprised people in their 20s have this mentality still

I’ve already commented , but same. I went to Dubai for my 30th.

what he has planned sounds absolutely horrific to me.

I also love the snobby posts about me not liking Bruges but then in the next breath calling me an insta hun that’s a sheep for social media. The irony. I’m individual enough to still not be interested despite it supposedly being as fabulous as some of you claim

Oh where did she say this was her biggest problem? Could you direct me to where she said that?

I CANNOT believe that you even thought saying that you had no interest in going to Bruges is in any way reasonable. YABVVVVU! It’s an absolutely amazing place.

Plus I’d love to approach Amsterdam from the sea, that would be a really interesting way to get there, think of all the ancient voyagers who have travelled that way and think if when the first people who established the trade routes from India etc came there, what an incredible experience that must have been. And both places are brilliant at any time of the year.

Personally I think that you are being U to try to change it, I don’t understand why you wouldn’t do the holiday and then book somewhere you want to go for yourself later in the year? Or earlier? IMO if you change it whatever you do end up doing will be tarnished.

There is somewhere between OP (expecting OH to know exactly what she wanted without being specific enough) and never expressing your view/need, you do realise that, right?

That being said I find bruges and Amsterdam a completely bizarre choice for a cruise, as in why do such short distance cruises even exist?

@PersephonePomegranate23 I'm not that fussed about Bruges even tho I know it's romantic - my parents went on honeymoon there! Northern Europe isn't as appealing to me as I find the culture and weather close to that of the UK. I spent a fair bit of time across northern Europe visiting various friends in Amsterdam, Liege, Stockholm etc and always enjoy it hugely BUT it doesn't feel as much like a holiday somehow, versus going somewhere with a very different climate and landscape/environment, the sun, the sea... So I do get where the OP is coming from.

If you're hoping for a hot beachy holiday, a northern European city break is very different.

Clearly, so, not to.

As an aside, does anyone hear the language around cruises and instantly switch it in their head to swinging? We cruise, going cruising etc

Just me I expect. 😄

I mean, you could have just said 'can we go to the same place as last year, I really liked it'

🤣 Colin Farrrel maybe?

OP has said it's five days!

To be honest I'm not as invested as you are in the thread, but she said Holidaybluees · Today 05:10
We get one overnight in Amsterdam and 9 hours in Bruges so it all feels so rushed and not leisurely

You are going to have to say something. There is no way you can keep up the pretence for a whole holiday when you are supposed to be relaxing.

I have some empathy as I absolutely hate surprises, so we simply never do them. If you are someone who can’t help but use surprises as a test of how well someone knows you (and I no judgment, because I do) then the answer is to stop with the big-ticket surprises for landmark events.

For my 30th I had a bbq in the garden. Suck it up and try and enjoy your cruise - it’s ok to be a little disappointed it isn’t what you would have chosen but it sounds like you go on holiday regularly enough that you could do your usual beach holiday next year. You might enjoy it. Crying because it isn’t the holiday you would have booked is a bit over dramatic.