Disappointed with birthday trip

[Holidaybluees]

NC as I’m ashamed of how I’m feeling. DP booked us a cruise for my milestone birthday this summer. It’s going to two city locations in Europe. He’s put a lot of thought into it and couldn’t wait to tell me about it. I’m incredibly grateful he’s booked something but I’m so sad at the same time. For his milestone birthday last year I took him to Europe (beach holiday) and we went to a water park as he loves them. 5 star all inclusive adults only hotel. The cruise he’s booked is adult only but we only get less than a full day in each location.

I love a beach holiday and water sports like jet skiing so whilst I’m so grateful I’m so confused about what he’s booked. My birthday is in the summer so I said I didn’t mind going away later in the year when flights are cheaper. I assumed this made it clear I wanted a beach holiday (like for like) but clearly I wasn’t clear enough as there’s no flights involved for my trip.

I don’t know what to do and I’ve felt a bit teary today as it feels like he doesn’t know me at all. One of the places we’re going to is on my list of holidays but it’s not where I’d go for a big birthday. I have no interest in the other city. I don’t know if I can say anything to him without seeming like a bitch but I’m so deflated. Should I say something or suck it up?

‘30 isn't a 'big' birthday. It literally never had been’

We are in our fifties. And all our friends including us had big 30th parties. So it ‘literally’ has been.

People are so weird here. There is no need to celebrate your 30th. But to pretend it isn’t a milestone is amusing to read about!

It's a shame to be so closed minded at 29. It might not be the holiday that you'd have picked, but isn't that the great thing about gifts? Sometimes having or doing something you'd not have chosen yourself is amazing.

Broaden your horizons. Benidorm wil still be there!

And the more you post moaning, with the addition of making unpleasant comments to others like you have to this poster, makes you sound more and more of a nasty princess who is just disappointed that her holiday isn’t going to be “braggable” to her friends and colleagues.

I think if these things matter to you so much then you need to agree to stop doing surprises and plan trips together in the future.
In all likelihood your DH probably wouldn't have picked the things you chose for his birthday, but he went along with it. It sounds like you both enjoyed it, so great.
I think you also need some time away from social media. Life isn't perfect, despite what other people's profiles show you. And it's because it isn't perfect that you appreciate the good times even more.
Give it a go OP. Both of those cities are beautiful and have a lot to offer.

I'm sorry for your situation but it's absolutely not fair to put that on the OP.

Two stops on a cruise is going to be a short cruise....

Have you ever cruised before? You can sunbath and take a dip in a pool too. If it's a big cruise ship, there'll be a spa on board, good quality entertainment, a cinema and a ccomedy club.

I used to do beach holidays, ive just got back from Thailand (we went for a wedding) and I never once went on the beach and only sunbathed for 2 hours the whole trip because I almost exclusively cruise now and enjoying the variety of tours/ visits. In Thailand we spent 10 days touring and then landed in Phuket for the wedding. 9 days of sitting on a beach/by the pool in Phuket just wasn't for me so we added more tours...

You will probably enjoy it, go with an open mind and research the ship and cruise so you can plan what you'll do.

Hope you have fun x

If you didn't want a surprise holiday why on earth didn't you just tell him what you wanted? He's not a mind reader! You do sound ungrateful tbh. I'll go if you don't want to 😂

I kind of get it. I would not enjoy a cruise. Especially to celebrate my 30th when cruise holiday-makers skew towards much older cohorts.

I would be disappointed, too, but then again, my husband would not book something like that without a discussion. A holiday week is too much money and too important not to have the discussion.

And for someone who loves sun, pools and beaches, that is a shit holiday.

Again, this is why I book my own!

As that's much better. Virgin cruises are good. I actually did a "floating around Portsmouth cruise" back in 2021 when cruise ships could not dock. 4 nights was fine. So many amazing restaurants to try (all included in price)

It's the best ship for adults who are younger.

Check out Ben and David on YouTube for their reviews of the virgin ships. They show the clientele is much younger (also attracts a more lbgt crowd)

Just what I was about to say. It's the sort of birthday you go out for drinks with your friends, it really isn't in the same league as a 40th, 50th, or 60th.

I know lots of people who go on big holidays for those milestones, but not for a 30th. It's only a bit special as it ends with a 0, it isn't a milestone.

More hell on water then hell on earth then !

Oh come on "airport excitement". That can't be a thing

It's not true cruises are for oldies. IME they're not, but maybe the younger crowd think they can't afford them or bar prices when we all know you can buy drinks packages that pay for themselves if you're a drinker....

This is hardly a cruise; it's just a longer (and probably cold on the deck, so no pool lounging) way of getting to Amsterdam.

People with shit partners should stop trying to tell the OP to be grateful for her crap present. Her husband was given exactly what he wanted, so he needs to step up to the bar and he clearly is way off the mark, despite her providing him with plenty of clues.

If you always do the same kind of holidays maybe he thought you might like something different?

My fortieth was in lockdown. I went to the Keswick pencil museum with my husband in the rain
This attitude is what keeps marriages going, not being an entitled madame.
I cannot imagine being teary and sad about someone giving me a holiday of any description.

I think you're being a bit childish and closed minded. Surely you can get "airport excitement" at the cruise departure point?

With so many sea days you can lounge about all you what. There's loads to do on the ships as well. And you can get dressed up for dinner if that's your thing.

If you can't be flexible then you need to say outright book me xxx otherwise I will be disappointed.

Virgin Voyages T&Cs suggests a 7 day cooling off period during which you can get your deposit refunded -

www.virginvoyages.com/addl-terms-and-conditions?item=bef3c807-d4a2-4975-bfe3-acf0226e7108

And turning 30 is really not that big a deal. I can't even remember what I did for mine

I spent my 30th looking after 4 kids for a week on my own, two of which aren't even mine. DH was working away. I think we probably went out for dinner at the weekend when he got back. It was just how it was back then with small children.

I don't think big birthdays were such a huge thing back then. And I agree,
30 is hardly a big birthday anyway.

Amsterdam and Bruges in the summer months are crowded and completely overrun with tourists. Especially Amsterdam.

You won't see much in less than a day either, and again, especially Amsterdam. As there's lots to see and do there if you like museums, etc.

I agree he got it very, very wrong.

You’re allowed to feel disappointed. Irrelevant of the occasion (and I’m in the no 30 isn’t a big deal camp, so you’ve possibly made it a little worse for yourselves by putting so much emphasis on it) the two of you had built up excitement about a particular event, with lots of discussion and clue dropping etc and this isn’t what you then expected. Not many people wouldn’t be at least a little deflated about that.

But you may well find it’s a great trip, unexpectedly etc. We had very limited options for a trip and ended up at what I thought was going to be a very lacklustre city and not at all type of hotel I would choose, not at all where I would have chosen if more time to plan and sort it etc, it turned out brilliant and I would go back in a heartbeat!

If its cheaper than the budget and later in the year, could you go and get some sun and beach in somewhere else as another trip earlier in the summer? So you don’t have a missing out type feeling etc?

I rarely comment but I couldn't resist after seeing some of the comments.

Firstly, ignore anyone who says it'll be full of over 60s, they have clearly never gone on a cruise or the wrong one.

Of course, some cruise lines are aimed at older people but most aren't. Like Oceania or Holland and America.

I'm early 40s and my wife is mid 30s. She had never done a cruise before we got together so I booked one as she was open to trying it. She was close to tears leaving, she didnt want to get off. I booked a back to back for her 30th on a cruise and it's one of her favourite holidays.

Do you know the cruise line and ship as that's a big factor?

For example, Royal Caribbean are full of 20s to 50s and its aimed massively at families. We have done a few in the past. We did the Symphony in October around the med and loved it. We actually stayed on the ship at some ports as the food was free, loungers easy to get and my pick of any jacuzzi.

Celebrity are my favourite, the food and entertainment are amazing. I doubt you'll get better in a hotel. We've done loads of 5 star hotels but cruise dining is way above. You'll have about 10 restaurants, some are free and some have a small fee. Like, we may do a steak house or tappanyaki and pay £25 each extra, but that's rare as the foods that good.

Norwegian are also great, my second favourite. P&O are OK, not to the level of RCL, Celebrity or Norwegian.

Find out the cruise line/ship. If its Beyond, Symphony, Allure, Oasis, Escape then I've done those and they are amazing.

My wife and I love to travel. We now do a cruise, then a travel one where we backpack. Like, last year we did Japan and then a cruise later in the year.

I've done loads of beach holidays and on 46 countries and I'll be honest, a cruise is always top of our list. I'm not saying this to brag, just for context. I can give an opinion based on experience, not what I think it'll be like.

My best friend always does beach holidays. He likes getting a villa in Greece or Spain and I got him on a 4 day cruise last August. He wasn't keen. Wasn't looking forward to it, thought it would be full of posh people. He's booked his wife and kids on a Royal Caribbean cruise this August. He loved it.

So, find out the ship and watch some videos.

The entertainment on some is amazing. One night we watched an ice skating show, then watched Hairspray and at 11pm watched the diving show which was just ridiculously good. You'd pay money for all those if you weren't on a ship.

Enjoy.

Not "most people", only the young. Those of us who have been around a while know that 30 is not a milestone birthday.

For what it's worth, I would rather be viewed as a "1950s housewife" than a spoilt princess!

I mean this kindly - but I think what’s got you in this mess is this whole notion of a “romantic surprise”. Clearly, you had pretty definite ideas about what you wanted to do, which was something similar to things you’ve done before. Nothing wrong with that, but it would have made far more sense to say so! To me, “a surprise” would mean something out of the ordinary, different - and it sounds like that’s the way your DH has interpreted it too. I really don’t think he’s done anything wrong here; I’d say he’s been a bit set up to fail.