Disappointed with birthday trip

[Holidaybluees]

NC as I’m ashamed of how I’m feeling. DP booked us a cruise for my milestone birthday this summer. It’s going to two city locations in Europe. He’s put a lot of thought into it and couldn’t wait to tell me about it. I’m incredibly grateful he’s booked something but I’m so sad at the same time. For his milestone birthday last year I took him to Europe (beach holiday) and we went to a water park as he loves them. 5 star all inclusive adults only hotel. The cruise he’s booked is adult only but we only get less than a full day in each location.

I love a beach holiday and water sports like jet skiing so whilst I’m so grateful I’m so confused about what he’s booked. My birthday is in the summer so I said I didn’t mind going away later in the year when flights are cheaper. I assumed this made it clear I wanted a beach holiday (like for like) but clearly I wasn’t clear enough as there’s no flights involved for my trip.

I don’t know what to do and I’ve felt a bit teary today as it feels like he doesn’t know me at all. One of the places we’re going to is on my list of holidays but it’s not where I’d go for a big birthday. I have no interest in the other city. I don’t know if I can say anything to him without seeming like a bitch but I’m so deflated. Should I say something or suck it up?

YANBU. It's a complete waste of money if it's not what you want. It's time wasted on a ship when you are not interested in that kind of thing and the minimal time in the 2 destinations is crap.

It's not a traditional cruise; it's just a different mode of transport to two nice cities that wastes a lot of holiday time on a ship that is unlikely to be aiming at your demographic.

I'm with you - what the feck was he thinking?? Get it changed ASAP.

I think posters are being really harsh here. Everyone saying 'be grateful' when this holiday is not somewhere OP would have chosen and she has no interest in one of the cities they're going to??

Op, you are entitled to feel like this. Your h should know you better!

Is there any way you could book the beach holiday too?

@Rollonsummer24 no he’s definitely booked what he said. He showed me videos on YouTube but the vlog we watched was a couple going to Croatia which was a punch in the gut as that’s exactly the kind of cruise that would have been perfect

You're allowed to feel how you feel, yes but you also need to maybe try it and see whether you enjoy it or not. Venturing out of your comfort zone is good.

Of course, you know him best and if you think you can have the conversation with him, do that.

Ah it sounds like he has really put a lot of effort in. Can you just suck it up and put a smile on your face?

When you read about all the terribly useless or even non existent birthday efforts from partners on here.

He's not a mind reader and saying you don't mind waiting until flights are cheaper in autumn really isn't making it clear you want a beach holiday.

Keep an open mind and chin up.

I get it. You’re sad that he doesn’t know you as well as you thought he did.

i think with cruises, the relaxing holiday bit is onboard. What company has he booked ? You could look up what it’s like on board and see if it appeals to you. If you really hate it then you should be able to say to him that it doesn’t sound like you’d enjoy it and could you just lose the deposit (or perhaps there is a short cooling off period) and re-book some cheap sun

It was booked with Iglu cruises and It’s with virgin voyages

Adopt a positive attitude. Your DH sounds as though he’s put effort into this. I’d imagine he’d be very hurt if he knew what you were thinking. I would be in his place. Especially if you’ve discussed doing a cruise before, if you’d always said “a cruise, that sounds awful” then maybe you’d have more of an argument. Does it really matter that it’s a “milestone birthday”? Your thoughtful DH has booked a lovely holiday for your birthday. That’s a great thing!

And usually I do have an open mind and love trying new things but this is a special trip to me. I went all out for his. I even found a baker in the country we visited to deliver a cake on his actual birthday. I just feel like less thought has been put into my trip

I think that sounds great I hope you have a lovely time away. Adults only, sounds amazing too. No one is going to book exactly what you want, unless you do it yourself. But this is still a great present. Enjoy it.

Ignore everyone telling you to suck it up because it will hurt his fellings - bollocks.. He got it very wrong. It's an awful, lazy present in comparison to what you got him.

The cruise is 5 days with around 18 hours in Amsterdam and 9 hours in Bruges.

🥲 That doesn't give you much time to enjoy either. And cruising on the North Sea is not like cruising on the Caribbean...

Look at this as an opportunity to step outside your comfort zone. Maybe you’ll find you are not just a boring beach holiday person after all :). I can see why he didn’t book a ‘like for like’ trip, if he had it would show a serious lack of imagination.

This all sounds very 'young'.

I think he has tried to do something different. You seem to go in beach holidays event year and he wanted to make this trip special, do something out of the ordinary.

I don’t think you should say anything. It’s a gift, accept it and be gracious. No it might not be what you had in mind but gifts rarely are. Go and enjoy it for the new experience that it is.

You wanted to go to the place and now you are going.

There will be many more beach holidays over the years that are all interchangeable because it’s the norm. Not like once you have done this you can never do a beach holiday again.

If it’s that important then book a cheap getaway in October, plenty of places are still hot then.

If it's resilient lady, you will have SO much fun! Virgin voyages are brilliant (and I've cruised a lot with various cruise companies).

If you've never cruised before, go in with an open mind! I promise you, you will really enjoy it.

@NewYearNameChanger we are not boring beach people. We did two city breaks within 6 months last year. I just prefer a beach holiday. I would have been thrilled if he got me something similar

@QueenOfTheKing what destinations did you cruise to?

So many posters on here are 1950s housewives...adapt a positive attitude, grin and bear it, suck it up, can't hurt your husband's feelings, suppress your own feelings...just no!

And 30 is a milestone birthday for most people.

Wow, so many people who’ve never done a cruise saying how much they would hate it. So many stereo types. My husband didn’t think cruising would be for him but he gave it a bash 11 years ago because he knew I really wanted to try it and he fell in love with cruising too. That said not every cruise line is for everyone. If you go on saga or one of the mega expensive cruise lines yes lots of older people. Go on Cunard very formal. Msc very sparkly. Royal Caribbean mega ships with water parks on. The list goes on. I think depending on who your dh has booked this cruise with and on what ship in that fleet you are going on could play a massive part of whether you will enjoy it or not op so I’m suggesting having a good google, maybe watch some YouTube videos and see what you think. Hope you have a great holiday whether it be the cruise or elsewhere.

He may have other little things planned, like a cake, decs, etc. which will show he has put more thought into it.
maybe, your approach with him should be that you are worried you will rush Amsterdam, and that is somewhere you would really like to explore for 3 or 4 days.
if he only booked yesterday can he cancel?

I have to agree, I would feel deflated if this was booked for my 30th. Maybe hint that you should also book a beach holiday for later in the year?

Get a grip and try something different.

If he reads this thread you’ll likely need a new DH as well as a new holiday. Poor man.

@Holidaybluees 30 is definitely a milestone birthday, I have never heard of it not being so. It's ok to be disappointed but as your DH sounds otherwise thoughtful, it might be an idea to go along and try to enjoy it. Maybe book a beach holiday later in the year. Enjoy your birthday!

We did the same itinerary as you :) I really enjoyed it. I must admit, it wasn't an itinerary I'd have picked as, like you, I like the Caribbean or Med in peak summer for the weather, but I was pleasantly surprised with Amsterdam and Bruges. I agree with PP though about Bruges, it's a small compact city so a day is plenty of time :)