Disappointed with birthday trip

[Holidaybluees]

NC as I’m ashamed of how I’m feeling. DP booked us a cruise for my milestone birthday this summer. It’s going to two city locations in Europe. He’s put a lot of thought into it and couldn’t wait to tell me about it. I’m incredibly grateful he’s booked something but I’m so sad at the same time. For his milestone birthday last year I took him to Europe (beach holiday) and we went to a water park as he loves them. 5 star all inclusive adults only hotel. The cruise he’s booked is adult only but we only get less than a full day in each location.

I love a beach holiday and water sports like jet skiing so whilst I’m so grateful I’m so confused about what he’s booked. My birthday is in the summer so I said I didn’t mind going away later in the year when flights are cheaper. I assumed this made it clear I wanted a beach holiday (like for like) but clearly I wasn’t clear enough as there’s no flights involved for my trip.

I don’t know what to do and I’ve felt a bit teary today as it feels like he doesn’t know me at all. One of the places we’re going to is on my list of holidays but it’s not where I’d go for a big birthday. I have no interest in the other city. I don’t know if I can say anything to him without seeming like a bitch but I’m so deflated. Should I say something or suck it up?

Amsterdam and Bruges are both amazing. Go, and book a beach holiday later in the year.

I think yanbu to feel how you feel but yabu to say anything

There are several people on this thread alone saying that a 30th is a milestone birthday to them/in their circle so it literally HAS been, even if you’ve never personally heard of it. The fact that if you type ‘30th birthday’ into Amazon six million version of decorations with 30 on them suggests that it is.

Anyway for you and all the other posters who have been living under a rock, whether or not you think it’s a milestone birthday is neither here nor there when the question is about not liking the trip.

I don't have a useless DH.
I also feel like OP is being very ungrateful.

poor you! what a prick

It's not gonna be a surprise if you pretty much say what you want. Just don't do further 'milestone' birthday presents as surprise holidays. For what it's worth it sounds like a nice thoughtful trip and something g u haven't done before so extra points. You can have a cheap 'beachy' holiday any time u want

you do sound abit bratty and petulant but then the attitude is something i do notice in my younger colleagues

as for 30 now being 'milestone' - don't agree. You've only just had 18&21 so you have to wait till 40 then for the next one

Just out of interest, what culture is 30 a milestone birthday?? I am just really intrigued because I am half England half German and I have friends who are Thai, Chinese, Indian, Pakistani, Portugese, Cornish, Welsh and Polish and I've never heard of anyone saying 30 is a milestone birthday so I am really curious??

Frankly, you sound bloody ungrateful. It is one holiday. You are only 30 and have years ahead of you to do all the beach holidays you want. I think your husband sounds really thoughtful. A lot of woman wouldn’t get more than a box of chocolates for their birthday. Stop being such a spoilt brat and enjoy his surprise.

..sorry also friends with Irish and Scottish people..probably more..I come from a very multicutultural part of England and have travelled a lot. What culture Is 30 a milestone, please? It doesn't google either

I think I know the cruise you mean and I'd be disappointed too.

30 is a milestone....

Haven't rtft but have read your posts OP.
30 is absolutely a milestone birthday! We usually only spend around 50 quid on each other for birthdays but have spent around 500 on each others 30ths.

One thing I've learnt from my husband is you can't drop hints, or give clues, you need to explicitly state what you want. From your posts I wouldn't have actually thought you really really wanted a beach holiday for your 30th, but he knows you want to go to one of the places he's arranged on the cruise, and probably thought you'd enjoy the other place too.
Go, and have a lovely time. Your DH may have missed the mark a little but he's arranged this trip so that will hopefully make it special for you, and he will be really excited. There's always years for other beach holidays and they aren't going to stop doing them. Don't remember this as the birthday you didn't go to the beach, remember it as your DH organising an adult only cruise to a city you wanted to visit.

Or next time clearly state what you want to do. I started talking to my DH about our 10th wedding anniversary yesterday and said outright what trip we should do (we always talked about doing a big trip somewhere a bit more special for our 10th anniversary). For my 30th I also just said to my husband exactly what it was I wanted, he has scope to choose what I actually received but that way it was the right kind of thing.

Have a great time, you will love it when you're there.

In England 30 is absolutely a big birthday. From the several hundred pages of content when you google-

Don't suck it up.

How much effort and though has he put into something that isn't what you'd like to do?

It's besides the point..OP is ungrateful regardless because a cruise to Amsterdam would be an awesome prezzie for a milestone birthday. But 30 isn't a milestone lol..at all. You can buy balloons etc for literally any age. They often make them to order.....

I'm Scottish.
I do think it varies among friend groups - most folk I know marked their 30th as they would any other birthday and it's certainly not seen as special as say 18, 21, 40 etc. I don't know anyone who was given a holiday though.

Are you really upset because it's not typically instaworthy op? 🤔

You can get that sort of rubbish for any age birthday nowadays though.

Yes probably would have to make decorations
/cards to order for any non milestone age, my point is you can easily buy 30 off the shelf. Because it’s a milestone birthday.

Your trip also sounds bloody cheap compared to his. You can do these sort of trips from near where I live and it's definitely a budget break not a milestone trip. I think he was excited to tell you because he left it till the last minute and was relieved to find something available.

I think the lesson learned here is that you don’t actually like surprises. Just tell him plainly what you want in future.

That is true, I do think the post first post was phrased badly.
Had she written about this being a very special thing that was promised and really made her think that maybe he was different, that he dangled ideas in front of her and really seemed to be listening. That she is now terrified of his reaction, she might have got more sympathy.

OP were you quite indulged/privilege growing up? Often folk who are very spoilt by their parents/families, or who were the opposite - very neglected, place a lot of emphasis on big celebrations and expect to be spoilt quite a bit.

Some people are just vile, it's pretty awful so many of you don't think 30 is not a milestone, its absolutely is! So many of you appear to have shit husbands and expect OP to suck it up, absolutely not!
Those of you with rubbish husbands need to raise your standards.
OP I've already said it, it's YOUR birthday, do what you would like and give him guidance on what that is. Men don't read minds.

In my world 30 is definitely a big birthday. As is 40, 50 etc. we always make a special effort for them.

Suck it up? You're being taken on a cruise for goodness sake, not being forced on an arctic boot training camp

Who knows, if you can get over your sourness and disappointment, you may actually enjoy it

You can easily buy any age.

I think it sounds great. It’s amazing arriving at a destination from the sea. You’ve said you definitely wanted to go to one of the cities and I would also find if difficult to think of a city I had no interest at all in visiting. I also think in fairness he has thought about it and maybe misinterpreted your clues- for me I honestly don’t see the difference between somewhere I’d go “anyway” or somewhere I’d go for a milestone birthday- if I wanted to go there I’d go give whatever occasion it is.

I think I’d force myself to adopt an entirely open mind to it and enjoy it. I’d also not do this surprising thing again- just book what you want to do, or (this is what I do) say exactly where I want to go, what I want to do and give a few hotel options, then let my DP choose the exact details. It sounds like he was almost destined to fail.