Ex husbands childcare offer

[sparkellie]

What would you do if this was your ex partners offer of childcare for the following year?
I should add he has them every Sunday 7.30 - 4.30. The asterisk next to days marks them as a Sunday.
How would you respond?

He will only commit to having them the hours he has sent me, which are 11.30-6 on my work days. So I would imagine he isn't prepared to not work for a full week in order to have either of them.

You need to work on the kids staying overnight with your ex. Sorry . One could sleep in the living room if they don’t want to share. You NEED to work . They prefer to be at your house. All the driving isn’t practical . It might be good for them to spend more time with father and build a better relationship . The long drive is just not practical. They should go for a week at a time.

How do I work on that when he isn't? He won't even take a couple of days to have them let alone a week! I have suggested it in the past, but get told that he has to work 'if you want me to pay you 200 a month'.
He used to live 15mins away, and it was no different then.

Don’t tell anyone your work schedule so it does not get passed on to the ex. If you choose not to work a few hours of one day he has them (ie gf has them) that is nobody else’s business but yours.

The exs schedule is terrible btw, such useless ‘parents’ out there. But I was a lone parent and never had any ‘help’ with parenting responsibilities at all.

Are you being obtuse?

The assumption is that he's not getting to you until 11.30 because of the commute to get to you each morning, no? Eliminated if they stay over.

No, he's not getting to me until 11.30 so he can work. It's a 45 minute drive from his house, not 2 hours. Less when he's coming from work, how much depends where he's been working.

It’s pretty clear who is the obtuse one here. The dad will not have them overnight. The dad does not have them overnight. The dad is not going to have them overnight. Never has, has never suggested it, has never taken up a suggestion that doesn’t suit him, will never suggest it, he does not want his kids overnight and there is no way to force him.

also, he is not getting there until after he’s worked. It’s not the commute, it was the same when he was 15 minutes away. He works in the morning then agrees to have them. He only has them when it suits him. It only suits him some of the time that he is not working. He does not take leave to look after them. He does not have them overnights.

Is that helping? You can get all that yourself if you read the ops posts.

op, is there a reason you can’t drive? Is it possible you could pass your test & get a car? I only say as it would open up the possibility of dropping the kids at his, driving off and going to work.

Thanks. For the sake of 100% clarity - the 11yo has in the past stayed at his, but only if she has requested to, as he doesn't like to say no and look bad. And of the 5/6 times she has asked to stay he has bought her home at least half of those late evening as she has changed her mind and wanted to come home.
I did attempt to drive a few years ago,but was spectacularly bad at it, and it was just not doable cost wise.
Having funds at the moment to try again, I would consider trying to pass a test in an automatic, but would need availability for driving lessons which are 2hr slots here, and would basically mean I couldn't do anything else on my day off, as buses are few and far between.