Argh, look at this awful text from a date!

[londonisnotme]

AIBU to think it's just bloody awful?

'Hi L! How are you? Sorry I haven't replied , busy few days in the office. Listen, I really enjoyed our time together but I think your caring roles are a different world to mine. It just doesn't seem right for me to, and I thought you needed to know. You ARE beautiful (yes you are!) , but I can't get past this. I needed you to know so you knew why sometimes it won't work , but I'm sure there's a very nice guy out there just for you 😌'

I go from thinking it's cringe, to patronising. To maybe making for of me?!

For context, went on a few dates. Kissed and asked to have sex. I did. I wanted to. Wasn't very good but we move

He's then text this. Whilst I'm on a date with someone else Saturday night

I still haven't deleted the text so me and a few friends can have a laugh.

I think it was a clumsy message but not intentionally horrible. People are allowed to change their mind about dating someone and like you said the sex wasn't great and it was just casual, perhaps he felt the same and didn't want to ghost you?

I think you don't want to admit that his rejection stings a little and you saying that you don't care what he thinks demonstrates the complete opposite. Everyone has an ego, and yours is bruised.

Just move on and don't think about him again, no need to make a post on Mumsnet if you actually don't care is there?

Thanks for letting me know. I appreciate you are a busy person. I feel the same as you, you are nice looking, oh yes you are!!! But yes, we are not really compatible so I hope you find someone too 😃

Seems ok to me, a bit awkward but it's an awkward situation. Not sure what's so hilarious about it anyway. Would you rather be ghosted?

Not by the OP, who has now answered it politely. Why so aggressive?

I mean it’s not the worst I’ve ever seen…

Wanky message.

I wouldn't even reply, just move on

Anyway, back to the OP's question. AIBU, you ask?

NBU to find it patronising, I would, too.

I think all of your follow up posts indicate defensiveness on your part. It was a clumsily worded brush off text not an invitation for you to defend yourself on MN to people who weren't involved.

Also I assumed the weird emphasis on "you ARE beautiful (yes you are)" referenced a previous conversation you had, did you react negatively to him telling you you were beautiful previously?

There are plenty threads on MN from women wondering if they've been dumped, ghosted or found wanting in some way. Obviously the OP wouldn't write a post like that because she's happy and confident in herself but it's not a huge leap to think that the polite thing to do is to tell someone that you don't want to see them again. OK this guy got the tone horrendously wrong but he's trying. Maybe the OP should have sent her "Let's not bother seeing each other again" text first?

I agree - it's clumsily worded but at least he tried.
I dated a man on OLD - saw each other for six months, I would say on average twice a week and every other weekend (he had children). I stayed over at his house sometimes, sometimes he stayed at mine.
Nothing amiss that I picked up on.
Then he ghosted me. He literally stopped all contact.
It really, really hurt me and took me a long time to begin to trust again.

😂😂😂

It doesn't read as being awful to me. He was being honest and wishing you well for the future.

Because it's not that long a thread and OP didn't need to answer because lots of others had.

I think it says more about you putting it in the public domain and saving it to laugh about with your friends. At least he had the decency to get in touch.

I think I matched you in tone.

She doesn't come across as irate at all.

No one was asking other posters, though, what their definition was? Just asking the OP to clarify what she meant.

Which she did, politely, so wasn't too hard for her to do.

Since when did we expect other posters to answer questions posed to an OP?

I disagree.

Ok 🤷‍♀️

Anyway OP, this is no help to you! Good luck with the next dates, his message gave me a laugh and glad it did you too! Thanks for sharing 😀

🤣 love this

It's not defined by the OP. It isn't a phrase she invented, so lots of other people answering was fine.

So you ghosted him? And now you're mocking him for not doing the same to you?

And asking the OP to clarify what she meant by her post was also fine.

Yet, here we are....

The decency to tell her he's not interested in being in the "world" of a disabled child; after shagging their mother.

Did he know before the shagging?

Yes, terribly decent.

Anyway I think the op is dryly, eye rollingly amused at this patronising brush off, when she saw it as casual, found the sex mediocre and is still dating other people.

Meanwhile he thinks he's the catch of the decade, that he has the option of a relationship with her (she'd be grateful), abd that he needs to finish things with her by not so subtly telling her he doesn't do disabled kids/dependants.

There's such arrogance and assumption behind it, like she's desperately hoping to catch a man as a partner and coparent.