It’s not my intention to offend anyone so sorry if I word something wrong, I have a 27 year old son, ASD and a multitude of mental health conditions including a personality disorder. His is on medication, but he is exactly the same on meds as he is off them.
He is aggressive, Plays people off against each other, Is a compulsive liar, Can be violent, Sends abusive texts constantly, Has hit me, thrown things at me, threatened to kill me, threatened to burn my home down, Has smashed my windows on my home so much that I had to move, smashed my car up, makes constant threats if he doesn’t get his own way, Blames me for every single little thing that has ever or does ever go wrong in his life, Every single day is another drama which he seems to thrive on and enjoy, Openly tells people he will only know true happiness when I’m dead, Its endless and its every single day of my life. He lives alone, We do not live together.
He loves to cause rifts between the (extended) family then when everything blows up will act all confused and ask why everyone has fallen out with him and why his family can’t just get along. Literally his favourite thing to say is ‘Can’t we all just get along now?’
He enjoys doing things like posting a note through my door at 3am telling me once he gets home he is going to kill himself, he will be dead by the time I read that note and its my fault he is dead, Woke up read that and called an ambulance, When they got there he was playing xbox and told them I fell for it again..
The latest thing he is doing is making up allegations about me, not small things, life changing things, Not only that but he is actually going to to police reporting me and in the last month alone I have had the police to my home asking various questions etc, To give an example he told the police I was trying to kill him by poisoning his food or drinks, I explained he has always been like that with food/drinks, all of his life and will not accept anything from anyone unless its sealed/unopened. He told them I had been taking significant sums of my grandparents money (total lie) Five different allegations so far. The most serious is he started telling people his dad used to touch him when he was a kid, then the same day once everyone knew he said he made it up because he enjoys seeing me hurt and he enjoys the distruction he is causing me. His words.
Two weeks ago he showed up at my home and told me he was going to kill me, I was doing a video with my phone in my pocket and caught him saying that so he was arrested (again) and is now on bail, I was recording because the last time he showed up he smashed my window so I wanted some proof if it happened again. An hour after being released on bail he was banging at my door wanting to be let in.
He then called me last night, I answered and he started screaming at me that I was dead to him, he fucking hates me, wishes I was dead and I’m an evil cunt for what I have done to him, This morning I woke up to a text saying he was sorry that he’s just stressed out, can't we not just get along? then this afternoon called me an evil twisted cunt again. He’s ok for ten minutes then it all starts again.
On top of all of the above he has done nothing but talk of the MI5 following him, children on his street being spies, cars deliberately shining their lights into his windows at night, taxi drivers are all working with the police feeding them information, gangs of people following him, he has had his neighbour arrested for something he didn’t do, and recently shouted in his neighbours face for driving his car out of his own driveway.
There is NOTHING normal in my life and nothing to look forward to, Anything good is shat on or ruined by him instantly. I have had one holiday in ten years, First hour I arrived there he called me to say he was going to kill himself because I was a bitch of a mother that has abandoned him.
Changed my number a few times but he just gets it from other people, Blocked him many times but he just gets a new number or just shows up at my home, If I tell him I want nothing to do with him until he gets help with his mental health he just forces himself back into my life and nothing ever changes or gets better.
His mental health team are aware of all of the above and NEVER get back to me, if I go to speak in person they are always out of home visits, He has been arrested many times and nothing changes.
What can I do to get out of this infinite loop? I woke up today and all I could think was I would be better off dead as there is no way out of all this. This has been going on every single day since he was 13. I'm waking up being sick, I don't feel well myself at all, Every day starts with doom and gloom and drama and I just know today will be the same as tomorrow and the day after and the day after.
I really need help but feel there is none? Apart from changing my identity and moving to the moon I’m unsure if any of this is ever going to change or get better? If I ask for advice from anyone i know nobody knows what to advise because who would really unless they are going through it themselves?