Should i have invited my brother to a girls weekend away?

[NatMoz]

It is both my mum's 70th and my aunty's 60th in March/April.

My brother had made 0 plans and his only idea was a Chinese. I said that I'll book a girls long weekend away (myself, mum and aunty) to make it memorable and he can be in charge of the inclusive family meal where everyone will be invited to celebrate which he agreed to.

So I've planned, booked, organised an itinerary for a long weekend European city break for the 3 of us for a girls weekend. My brother is now absolutely hounding me because he has decided he would also like to join in on the girls weekend. Telling me he doesn't mind carrying the bags and is there room for a little one. I explained it would spoil the dynamic of the trip and at 31 why would he want to spend a girls weekend with us anyway🤣. He is already going on holiday with my mum and dad for 10 days in June to Greece so it's not like he's missing out on going abroad and spending time with my parents! He lives at home so spends every day with them so again it's not like he lives on the other side of the world.

He explained he hasn't been on holiday with my aunty in 10 years. The last time he did, i organised that trip too!!! I did say if he felt so strongly about it, why has he not organised something prior to this point as there have been 10 years of opportunities.

I've now been told I'm banned from the family meal he is organising 🤷.

To clarify further, my husband, my dad nor my daughter (aged 2) will be attending this weekend away either. Just myself, mum and aunty.

Am i in the wrong here?

Who on earth said you were. This has nothing to do with partners having their own friends.

I can't believe how ageist this is...

No, it's more about spending time in the company of people who don't sneer at what they imagine women's interests to be. If i was in an all female group I'd be very surprised if anyone there implied women only got together for manicures.

I think he just wants a free holiday!

Girls holiday is just fine. There's a separate celebration later for everyone. That's just how it is.

Of course your mum wants to be away from her son, her husband, it's a carefree weekend!

Men's Sheds
Freemasons (mostly still segregated although there are women's ones)
Round Table
There's another one that begins with P that I can't remember
And loads of small local ones all over the country

Women need time without men around it’s just a fact.

Reread my reply. I'm saying what you're saying .
I'm saying "to say girls only trips are dumb, is ridiculous".
Read my posts

Can't understand anyone being so desperate to be included in a group where he's not really wanted. Is he a bit needy?

Because men and women are different.

She's excluded her father, her uncle and her husband and daughter.

Because her mother, her aunt and the OP want to go away together!!

I can't stand dividing activities by gender without good reason

Nobody is dividing anything by gender @PrawnLiberationFront . The "division" is by sex.

And not wanting someone of the opposite sex tagging along is a "good reason".

https://bmcpublichealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12889-020-09269-1
Mine have higher rates of suicide in the UK.
Meant 'oldest' men's club have closed.

Gender is a perfectly acceptable and widely understood synonym for sex in this context.

What manner of madness is this, where women are not allowed to spend a weekend together, sans men, if they are so inclined 🤔.

If you wish to not have gender segregated activities, carry on.

If you wish to have gender segregated activities, carry on.

Not everything has to include everyone in everything. In my family we have women only, men only, adults only, nuclear family only and all together. No one suffers from FOMO, so everyone gets on just fine 🤷🏽‍♀️.

And in this family, the brother is interested in joining in the activities planned but apparently he is forbidden to join his mother's 70th birthday and aunt's 60th birthday trip, by his sister, because he is male and no other reason. I really have read it all. It takes sibling rivalry to a whole new level.

https://www.thegazelle.org/issue/242/male-only-mental-health-spaces

You can disagree, but it doesn't mean there are loads of things most women would rather not discuss in front of men and vice versa.

Now that you have added the comma in the position you have, it does indeed change the entire meaning of your sentence.

Had that comma been in place initially I wouldn't have commented the way I did.

Why don't you thoroughly proof-read your posts - or at least take responsibility for your lack of punctuation?

This at the end of the day.

Also your brother could just identify as a female for the weekend if you're that sexist about it.

Agree.

Some posters seemed to be ignoring or brushing over the fact that he AGREED to all of this beforehand and only after everything is bought and paid for, has a problem. His idea for the mother who still cooks and does his laundry was a Chinese takeaway if that’s what OP means by Chinese.

Unless I missed it, I didn’t see anywhere that he was saying he would pay his way to go so he likely also expects OP to shell out for him too.

In your opinion.

This merging of "gender" (a social construct) and "sex" (a biological reality) causes so much trouble. Euphemisms are ridiculous, sometimes.

Had the brother been of the same sex as OP and her mum and aunt, then he would have been her sister, and very possibly sharing in the trip.

But he isn't. He's the opposite SEX. His "gender" is immaterial.

Your brothers being an arse. A special girls weekend is for women! There’s a larger family celebration for everyone.

Perhaps he could identify as "not an arsehole" and allow the women to enjoy their break.

You're right, but they are rapidly closing .
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/death-of-the-working-men-s-club-889632.html

@PrawnLiberationFront Actual it is SEX, gender is a murky, grey area. it means nothing. (anyone can claim any sort of gender)

I do not have a gender, I have a sex.. Female. Many women fought for this right and I will continue to support that.

You might want to sit down for this one, but my DS excluded me, his sister, his auntie, his wife and his 80 year old nan from his stag do. Just for being female! And FOR NO OTHER REASON!!