To not be thrilled about these tattoos?

[MrsHoney123]

Just wondered how others would feel if their DH of nearly 30 years whom they’d raised three kids with decided in his late 50s to get both his upper arms completely tattooed? Pictures are a skull, a load of roses and a snake.

Well if you have no opinion whatsoever on tattoos that's fair enough. But supposing it was something you did have an opinion on, say he had a full face tattoo for example, or radically changed his features with surgery or cosmetic procedures, would your first and only feeling be his body his choice then?

You don’t agree with a woman having autonomy and choice over what she does with her own body?

I'd be thinking he was having some kind of midlife crisis and take the piss out of him for it - that's the kind of relationship we have thought, very lighthearted teasing much of the time. But obviously it's his choice.

Yes it would be his body his choice still

But as I said in my original post, my choice would be whether I wanted to stay with someone who had done that, that's where my choice comes in

well its not a separate issue is it. its very much at the centre of why you are annoyed. he doesnt pay into the family finances, I suspect you feel he is freeloading and now you are also funding his mid life crisis. Clearly this is one of those last straws in a dying relationship.

Would give me the ick.

The OP has to look at them all the time though.

I'd divorce DH if he did that. They're vile.

@Britpop123 That's not what I said, is it.

I do get the "his body, his choice" responses. But ultimately we can't help who we are sexually attracted to. My DH has said that he wouldn't find me attractive if I cut all my hair off or if I gained 100 pounds. I have the choice to do these things but he also has the choice to leave. I suppose it depends on how much the OPs husband is bothered by her opinion.

As I hate tatts, I'd be mortified.

However, I'd also assume a H would discuss it with you beforehand and not just run to the tatt parlour and have them done.

I would be really upset if the roles were reversed and I wanted tattoos and my partner had a problem with this

I'd be pissed off if he hadn't discussed it with me. Just the same as I wouldn't shave my head without discussing it with my husband.

It’s a non issue

You said you didn’t fully agree with his body his choice. I simply changed that to her body her choice. Do you agree with one of those?

I hate tattoos and I'd be embarrassed to be married to someone who had them.

But I suppose as midlife crises go, it's better than an affair and cheaper than a sports car.

Depends on what conversations you have had in the past with him about tattoos. If you told him that you despise them and really didn't want him to have any then that is pretty crap of him. My DH had 2 tattoo's on his upper arm when i met him, they were hidden by his shirt and i only saw them after a few months of knowing him. I can put up with them but he knows i would hate for him to have more and has said he will never have more.
Tell him he will look a prat and that you really won't fancy him anymore.

I wouldn’t feel anything other than glad it made him happy. It’s his body and his choice. I started getting tattooed at 40 after wanting to but thinking I couldn’t because I was too fat or not cool enough or people might laugh at me. I did already have 2 little ones, but I’d always wanted more and bigger pieces. I finally decided I was gonna do what made ME happy and sod if others liked them. I like them and that’s all that matters.
surely if you love him, it doesn’t matter that much?

There's no age limit on tattoos. Calling it a midlife crisis is a bit ageist. However I'd be disappointed with his choice of images; very basic!

I wouldn't care. I went out and got visible tattoos myself. Husband hates them but it's nothing to do with him.

Classic mid life crisis

People do all sorts of out of character stuff to re- live or and recapture their youth

Believe there is far worse things he could dabble into than having a set of tattoos

Well attempt too

My husband already has a fair few so if he adds to them I don't really care, they're not on my body.

I would think it was his choice to have them. Roses, snakes and skull I would think how boring and cliched, so that might put me off him a bit. And of course if it was a fascist tattoo or something I'd probably not want to stay with him. But the tattoo in itself I wouldn't mind.

However, if you hate them, you hate them and if it puts you off him you can't help that. I don't like beards - that wouldn't mean I'd tell a partner he couldn't have a beard, but it would mean if he grew one I wouldn't fancy him any more.

I wouldn’t like it. Just like he wouldn’t like me getting fat, shaving off my hair or growing armpit hair. We would always run major appearance changes past each other as it’s important to both of us that we are physically attracted to each other. And also it would be very odd that it hadn’t come up in conversation seeing as we talk every single day.

I would consider this to be 100% DPs choice.

I guess I would voice my opinion but I wouldn't expect to have any say at all, as he wouldn't if I decided to do the same.