To not be thrilled about these tattoos?

[MrsHoney123]

Just wondered how others would feel if their DH of nearly 30 years whom they’d raised three kids with decided in his late 50s to get both his upper arms completely tattooed? Pictures are a skull, a load of roses and a snake.

Skulls, snakes and roses. Oh dear.

Even Big Mand would have suggested something more original.

I don't think I'd mind really, I'd rather be married to a good bloke with slightly rubbish tattoos than a horrible bloke with excellent/no tattoos.

They're in a place that can be covered for work, so no issues.

Are they good tattoos? Well executed?

Tbf the OPs question was how would you feel?

And my answer remains that I would feel "his body his choice". I'm not parroting it, I'm answering the OPs question.

I don't know why people keep parroting 'his body his choice' like the OP doesn't know that an adult man can legally choose to have a tattoo without his wife's permission.

Because otherwise the 'if a man had posted this about his wife the answers would be very different' brigade would be in a flap.

I don't like them. No real reason, I just don't. Given their permanence, I doubt I would have fancied DH if he had tattoos. So actually I think it is quite a big deal.

Therefore I don't fully agree with his body his choice... hopefully in a good partnership such things are discussed.

Ultimately I couldn't stop him, but I could stop sleeping with him, or in the same bed as him!

Is he a fan of heavy metal, guns and Roses perhaps ? He's in the right age bracket. I'd be a bit bemused. I'm not a tattoo fan, I don't think they age well. It could be something he always wanted to do and now feels he can. I wouldn't fight about it but then I would be more puzzled than bothered .

I’d have expected him to speak to me about it first. No way would I do something like that without talking to him about it

Wouldn’t stand in his way though even if I was thinking he was a bit of a knob for doing it

Midlife crisis? I'd laugh and suggest some other way of rebelling. At least you can sell a motorbike down the line when you come to your senses.

I wouldn't be bothered by this at all, but we're all different.

You don't have to be 'thrilled' - you can actively hate them, if that's how you feel about tattoos! You feel what you feel. However, the fact that you don't like them doesn't mean that it was unreasonable of your DH to get them.

My reaction would depend on whether he's using joint family money for it or his own 'fun' money.

Agree

On the other hand riding a motorbike can kill you or at least leave you with serious injuries. And older "mid life crisis" bikers account for a high amount of motorbike fatalities

So on balance I would take the tattoos over the motorbike although I have zero problems with men with motorbikes usually. I'm just not sure the midlife crisis ones are always the safest!

Ha, well his career dried up years ago and now I support him to do charity work. So technically I paid for them. But that’s a separate issue really.

Midlife crisis. Have seen similar in a couple of men I know. Their tattoos look awful, but they seem to love them so….

Midlife crisis say what?? 🤣

I think it makes men who do this look a bit sad and like their trying to prove something 😵‍💫

My dad is anti-tattoo

He paid for my mom's for her 50th because he knew it was something she wanted

It's called being supportive

Wow. No you didn’t.

If a woman didn’t work and spent money on herself and a man said ‘well actually I paid for them’. People would call it financially abusive.

If you no longer want to support him and he needs to get a paid job, tell him that. It’s not ok, to not tell him and then start viewing it as all your own money.

Not your body, not your choice.

you can express your dislike - but he doesn’t have to ask your permission

Yes, but do you both have an amount each month that you're allowed to do what you want with? If so then 🤷🏻‍♀️ it's his money, his body, his choice. Would have been nice if he talked to you first, but ultimately I don't think he should have to.

If all your money is in one pot and is (in general) always accounted for/earmarked for something - by that I mean you're not completely rolling in it - then he should have discussed it with you first and you both agreed together.

I'd think he has lost his marbles 😉

ALL 👏🏻 OF 👏🏻 THIS 👏🏻

I don't think I could fancy dh with tattoos, it just wouldn't be him and I wouldn't have married a man with tattoos, nothing against them I just don't fancy tattooed people.
I think I'd get bored of seeing it, a bit like if he took his clothes off and had the same pair of undies on every single day for the rest of his life.

At least it’s not a motorbike.