To not be thrilled about these tattoos?

[MrsHoney123]

Just wondered how others would feel if their DH of nearly 30 years whom they’d raised three kids with decided in his late 50s to get both his upper arms completely tattooed? Pictures are a skull, a load of roses and a snake.

That he expects you to pay for this stupidity is by far the worst part. He sounds like an utter fool.

I have tattoos but dh doesn't. I'm in my 50's & the last large tattoo is has was about 8 years ago. I don't see the issue & I'd be astounded if my DH had an issue with it or thought anything less of me for having them. There are worse things

This is so ridiculously dramatic. 😂 "Brave and different" because he didn't have a tattoo? Get a grip, honestly.

Of course he wasn't brave and different because he didn't have a tattoo, who said that? He was brave and different in his musical style and persona. Once he started having a tattoo he was copying everyone else

My opinion. We are allowed these

Seriously, how much are you all thinking this would cost approximately? I’m so not that way inclined that I genuinely don’t have a clue?

For both at least £1000 I would have thought and multiple sittings, could be more depending on where you are in the country and how good and sought after the tattoo artist is

It also depends on how intricate the design is as to how long it takes and tattoo artists often charge an hourly rate

Has he found a tattoo artist that's good at what he wants? He shouldnt just wander into any tattoo place and assume they will be the best for what he wants as they all have different styles they are best at. My cousin travelled from South Wales to Yorkshire to get her roses tattoo as she knew there was a woman there who does the most amazing realistic roses, but that's all she tattoos.

I would question his sanity, same way if DH suddenly decided to be a skinhead, to wear earings or grow a long pointy beard.
It wouldn't reflect the man I married or attracted to.

Not discussing it prior would probably annoy me more than the act.

I wouldn't make dramatic changes to how I look without letting DH know about my feelings and reasons for wanting to change. Marriage is a partnership, if there's no open communication, I'd also wonder what else he's hiding/ going to surprise me with.

I find them unattractive. So unattractive that I wouldn't find him sexually appealing.

Ick forever.

Wouldn't bother me at all. However, I am probably 75% ink myself...

I'm not a big fan of tattoos but each to their own but it would be quite odd getting full tattoos out of the blue.

With regards to cost, you're looking at around £400+ for a day sitting at a good tattooist's. The length of time it takes depends on the design and the tattooist.

My tattooist charges £50-£75 an hour, depending on the complexity of the design. Two half sleeves, or even two large upper arm tattoos are going to take several hours, probably over several sessions, so this could cost anything from £400-£1000.

I'd suggest he get himself a job to pay for his tatts, and maybe question the designs as they sound really naff.

Nope. He's seriously having a mental health crisis. Just why would he? Who is influencing him? Why is he being inked with that particularly? After half a century, that is how he wants to be inked? Nothing about the inking suggests love or family committment or things he's proud of. I'd honestly run. Whoever you thought you were living with - Did not discuss personal permanent inkings on their body. Did not show any respect to their family. Just run. Because you do not understand the meaning of these inkings. Because he sounds like he's in a dangerous state of mind.

What a dripfeed! Your OP asks how people would feel etc, giving the impression he showed up tattood. Why didn't you say that? It massively affects how people responded including me. Talking about it is reasonable, doing it and not having talked about it is outrageous.

I agree. He should get a job to pay for his tattoos if he wants them that badly. Many people would find 1K or more a lot to figure into a budget, especially when only one works for pay.

I'll bite. What kind of career just "dries up"? Is he getting a pension? I wouldn't care if my DH did volunteer work after he retired, but to give up his career to do volunteer work is mind-blowing. He could have held a job and volunteered at night or on weekends. I think volunteering is very important and so badly needed, but within limits if they aren't getting paid by a charity (Like Goodwill, Salvation Army, Red Cross, etc.)

He’s in his late 50s, he’s lost his career, yes he’s having a mid-life crisis, but he’s not hurting anyone else so maybe it’ll help him? I would negotiate on the artwork, size and cost - just go for one, he can build it up later but maybe he’ll be feeling better at that point, especially if you could actually talk to him about how he’s feeling and what’s prompted this. Your comment about his work drying up years ago and supporting him financially sounds quite dismissive and unfeeling, probably he hates that lack of autonomy and dependency. Maybe you should talk about these things that actually matter.

I usually pay £80 an hour for mine. Half a leg cost me over £500.

How is having a tattoo "copying" everyone else? Are you copying all blonde women if you dye your hair blonde? Do you find that disappointing as well?

I'd be more concerned about the cost because such tattoos aren't cheap. What else could that money be spent on?

God that sounds exhausting

I thought this. ^ Imagine a woman doing the same thing. 🙄

Also - as pps have said, where is the money coming from... ? To get both arms covered in tattoos, you are talking the low to mid 4 figures. Where is the money coming from if he has no job @MrsHoney123 ?

Also skulls, and snakes, and roses. So cringe, and cliché, and predictable. I would worry people would laugh at him!

Maybe you should talk about these things that actually matter.

Or maybe he should talk about the things that actually matter, if your assumptions are correct

I personally think it's fine if he gets a tattoo (money issues aside) and I find the assumption that someone doing something new in the 40s/50s must be a midlife crisis tiresome.

But nevertheless is this is due to some deep angst then I would suggest he tried to get that resolved instead of relying on the assumption that women are there to be emotional support humans to men.

If he is so sad about not having a job and autonomy then he can get a job without the OP coaching him through how he feels about it.

@JustanotherMNSlapperTwat

I find the assumption that someone doing something new in the 40s/50s must be a midlife crisis tiresome.

It's pretty much always true though.