To not be thrilled about these tattoos?

[MrsHoney123]

Just wondered how others would feel if their DH of nearly 30 years whom they’d raised three kids with decided in his late 50s to get both his upper arms completely tattooed? Pictures are a skull, a load of roses and a snake.

@MrsHoney123 you should’ve just bought him a pack of crayons. Was he really that bored?

@penjil that’s my other dealbreaker - the word “classy”. It’s funny how it’s never, ever used by people with actual class.

For those asking, no he hasn’t actually had them done yet. I hadn’t realized it wasn’t realistic to get all that done in one sitting. That makes me feel a little better.

It's old fashioned to think that 'classy' is something to aspire to...or that tattoos are 'not nice' in 'classy' establishments. Thankfully society has mostly moved on from that school of thought.

I LOVE tattoos and would be made up if DH got a few but he hates them
He also hates piercings and I’ve got a few..
Nose, 3 in each lobe, helix in one war and scaffold in the other.
Like I told him though.. I got them for me so….

I find it very odd. "Looking" like you have a low income - is that something to be ashamed of? Many people on low incomes work very hard!

Tattoos are flipping expensive, especially well done ones - I certainly wouldn't assume they were a sign of poverty!

If it helps most tattoo artists say that women cope better with the pain of having a tattoo than men. Two sleeves is a massive massive commitment in terms of time and discomfort. He may end up with a small tattoo in the end and then give up!

For me there’s always a dichotomy when this comes up

yes his body his choice. Absolutely. And if it were a woman wanting tattoos this would be defended to the hilt

also feels a bit shitty to permanent change your appearance in a way your partner hates. Like you know they will find you less attractive but you don’t care. A bloke doing this (like the op’s husband) is usually assumed to be cheating or not caring about the relationship.

i think on balance I’m in the latter category but I don’t doubt this makes me controlling (as a bloke) rather than having boundaries…

I, through a very bizarre set of circumstances as I am very working class, have ended up good friends with a couple of Lords, the whole get invited to Buckingham Palace etc type Lords.

They are actually classy dinner guests because they wouldn't presume to judge a guest by whether they have tattoos or not because they are both far more interested in getting to know people than staying away from the great unwashed.

Perhaps you aren't as classy as you think you are to make comments like these?

It will shock you to learn that some French people have tattoos.

You tell us!

Thank you for your concern. I did say they make me feel sick not that they make me actually be sick or retch.

Yes, unfortunately they are very common now so I prefer winter when people are, usually covered up.

A few small tattoos don't really bother me but large ones do. I really dislike sleeves and tattoos on legs I can't even really look at.

I honestly think it may be a phobia

I hate them. I would tell him so. He would tell me the same. We have that kind of relationship. I wouldn’t leave him over it though!

An ear piercing is hardly the same as large tattoos is it?

For me, it would depend on what you thought of tattoos. If you hate them and he knew that and went and got them anyway, I'd be mortified. Not just at the tattoos, but at the fact that he didn't care about your feelings.

Personally I hate tattoos and I'd be embarrassed to be with someone, say on holiday, with heavily tattooed arms so I do believe tbat it's not quite as black and white as saying 'his body, his choice'

Well, nothing seeing as I fit both categories. The poster seems to think that it's a negative thing though.

I'd think he'd lost his mind, as he's even less fond of tattoos than I am. Once I'd convinced myself that he hadn't had a midlife crisis or something, because it's so out of character for him, I'd probably be annoyed if he got them despite knowing how I felt about it, but assuming he was still the same person under the skin, I'd have to accept it. It would likely change how I felt about our relationship, however, because it would show a lack of concern for my opinion. I'd wonder if his personality/tastes might have changed in some other ways, as well, which would be unsettling.

Do some posters on here think that women who’ve had tattoos covering mastectomy scars tacky as well? The couple I’ve seen are roses

Well assuming we could afford it (we can't) and the tattoo wasn't offensive (sexist/racist etc.) I wouldn't give a shit.

Tattoos are naff as hell. Totally wank but I still wouldn't care. It's not on MY body after all. Also don't care what he wears or if he decided to grow a beard.

I might have to have a quick search around the house for the pod though just to be sure it was really him. 😂

this is just an additional dimension of that, not caring about what they're up to.

… or of loving them enough that something as superficial as a tattoo isn’t going to change their feelings?

I don’t really like tattoos that much. DP would look weird with one. But I love him. That’s not going to change because of a change to his appearance.

That isn't the same, though, not by a long way:

-the DH didn't threaten, he just went ahead without any consultation nor discussion about where the money was coming from
-having your ears pierced is easily reversed, just take out the ear rings, sorted. Having massive obtrusive tattoos all over your upper body has an air of deliberate defiance about it "fck you, I don't care what you think"

Yes, that's it exactly. "The ones with the pink flamingos on, again? Bit bored with that design. Can't you change them?"
"Er, no."

Why not, don't see the issue tbh. I'd not take kindly to my dh telling me I couldn't do something to my body. I got my nose pieced in my late 40s, couldn't imagine my dh objecting to it

You may not like it, but it's a tattoo, he's not been shagging Sandra in accounts. I fancy the man my dh is rather than what he looks like. He looks a lot different at 60 than he did when we met

If you read the post I quoted, I agree it's his body his choice but I'd still be upset about it