Does this group of friend disrespect me or am I being sensible?

[bejadreamstoreality]

Does this group of friend disrespects me or am I being sensible?

We, a group of friends are planning to go to a 2 day festival. We are around 15 people. It takes 2 hours to drive, we will stay in 2 apartments and will come back together when it's finished. We are making all plans and everything in a group chat. We will be going there in 5 different cars.

One of the participants asked: are we all going to follow each other driving there in a line?

I replied: these lines are sometimes a distraction when we have to make sure we are close to each other. I think it's better if we all go and meet at the destination.

I was not satisfied with the way they responded to me.

A girl replied: whoever orders the take-off is Commander and Co-Pilot, the remaining crew follow the trio.

Another boy said: what do you mean to be distracted? We motivate each other along the way. I'm from #teamfollowinline!

I don't know. I think it was a little abrupt. They could speak in a more friendly way. Because I already have bad experience with this group. Sometimes I find them a little childish. I'm thinking about giving up going.

What do you think about that?

As an outsider, I'm afraid it is you op who sounds from this the most difficult to get on with.
As you're not even driving, to write the message you did was incredibly bossy. It's completely up to the driver.
I also think that things have got lost in translation where English isn't your first language. Sometimes directly translating word for word sounds rude in one language and not in another.

Oh Christ it’s just banter. These are not your kind of people - leave the group.

Lol - I've just re read the title. Both options are positive outcomes for the op 😂. Maybe some self awareness is needed op.

Oh op, you’re not even driving? You come across as oddly uptight, like an old time mafia head, who needs to be respected. Why should you get to decide how they drive if you’re being kindly driven there?

it’s very odd to decide the driver can’t drive safely in a convoy. It really just means you all get there at roughly the same time.

is there a back story here, in terms of your need for people to do as you say, or feeling unsafe in cars?

OP needs to make her own way there if she isn't happy about driving in a convoy. I happen to agree that five cars all following each other is not a good idea at all. I think she has the right to express concern though.

Any driver who thinks 5 cars can drive in a convoy for some distance shouldn’t be on the road.

I agree that driving in a convoy is not a good idea. But as the question seems to be about how OP was spoken to , I couldn’t get excited about it.

I feel like I've entered an alternate reality. One where the OP is written in the style of creative writing and I can't grasp what the issue is but everyone else seems to understand.

(Doesn't help that I've just read another thread that felt the same!)

I mean when there's a group of cars heading to the sane direction don't you tend to be in a convoy of sorts anyway? Least as much as a convoy as other traffic, junctions and traffic signals allow you to be?

Generally people go the same route, especially in the age of satnavs and Google maps. Also even if you were in a convoy, you need to have an idea of the route in case you lose the person in front at a traffic light. (Even before satnavs this would be the case - the route would have been discussed.)

Not like you tie the cars together to be in a convoy.

"Dear mumsnet, am I right or are they wrong? Because there's no other possible option"

I don't think they have been remotely rude or disrespectful. You stated your view, they stated theirs.

Fwiw I agree with you! But it's hardly the end of the world. If it were a disagreement about something meaningful or values-based, then it might matter, but it's literally a small difference of opinion regarding how you approach a drive. And nobody has engaged with it in a rude way.

This. It doesn’t mean you need to stay in formation at all costs, just you’re roughly in the same place. Every driver knows you get stuck at junctions and round abouts, or behind other cars, but going in convoy means you’re only a few mins apart on arrival.

You don’t get to decide how everyone else drives

are you a as driver? If so you can tell the people in your car, once you set off that you don’t like driving in convoy

you cannot stop the others driving in convoy

I agree as a driver, I wouldn't be particularly keen on being part of a 5 car convoy, but even then as a driver I would try not to dampen the mood and say something like " How about we meet up for a pit stop on the way ?".
What were your other irritations with this group OP, it would be interesting to know ?

What a weird conversation. I think you’re taking it way too seriously to be honest. As long as you all get there, why does it matter? 😂

You're being over sensitive but you are right.

I knew someone who died in a crash when following convoy style... driver concentrated too much on car ahead and didn't see a hazard and the passenger was killed. ☹️

I see no disrespect in anything they have said to you. You do however seem on a totally different page to them, I am surprised you are friends.

OP, your reactions and judgement of this situation seems wildly over the top. There's no malice or bossing going on, it's nothing personal, just banter. I agree with you that it's usually hard work staying in a convoy BUT as it's not even you driving its odd you'd worry about this. More strange that you'd say you're concerned for your safety. This seems very paranoid and anxious, do you usually get bothered and knotted up about things in this way? It's disproportionate. I'm getting the impression this might be part of something deeper. Do you get anxious about other things?

Sensible is a false friend, as it means sensitive in many Latin-origin languages. Presumably OP means to ask if she's being too sensitive.

OP do you mean sensitive, rather than sensible?

You are concerned for your safety? How are you going to get on at a festival?

Disrespectful?! 😂 don’t be silly OP, unless there’s a big backstory, you’re massively overreacting to a couple of daft messages on a group chat.

If you’re this uptight about being driven there, I’m not sure you’re going to be able to cope with the actual festival (if we’re talking about a Glastonbury type festival) itself and all the other decisions that’ll be made. Stay at home for your and their sake.

You sound like hard work

What they said was fine, even though it brings back memories of a time before mobile phones lol.
Anyways, sounds like there's backstory which you'll have to tell us to have further opinions. Otherwise, just relax and enjoy the festival !

Ah that makes sense.