Does this group of friend disrespect me or am I being sensible?

[bejadreamstoreality]

Does this group of friend disrespects me or am I being sensible?

We, a group of friends are planning to go to a 2 day festival. We are around 15 people. It takes 2 hours to drive, we will stay in 2 apartments and will come back together when it's finished. We are making all plans and everything in a group chat. We will be going there in 5 different cars.

One of the participants asked: are we all going to follow each other driving there in a line?

I replied: these lines are sometimes a distraction when we have to make sure we are close to each other. I think it's better if we all go and meet at the destination.

I was not satisfied with the way they responded to me.

A girl replied: whoever orders the take-off is Commander and Co-Pilot, the remaining crew follow the trio.

Another boy said: what do you mean to be distracted? We motivate each other along the way. I'm from #teamfollowinline!

I don't know. I think it was a little abrupt. They could speak in a more friendly way. Because I already have bad experience with this group. Sometimes I find them a little childish. I'm thinking about giving up going.

What do you think about that?

Are you disrespecting me? Are you disrespecting my family?

I don't see anything wrong with the messages. Just set off together and see what happens. You don't all have to tailgate but it's good to all be travelling at the same time so you can meet up at service stations and arrive at roughly the same time.

‘Disrespecting’ you?! I mean, who thinks like this?

No, they’re not ‘disrespecting’ you. I really wouldn’t take it so personally.

I can’t imagine going in strict convoy, but why does such a decision even need to be made about this right now? I don’t get it.

You all set off, and then inevitably, when someone needs the loo / something to eat / the traffic light turns red, you get separated.

But you all eventually end up at the same destination for the actual fun to begin.

No big deal. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yeah… you’re fully unreasonable. Really your only say in the drive there or back is, yes I will be in the car or no, I will make my own way there and meet up with.

FFS… It’s not like 5 cars are setting off on a 5 month drive where only one person holds a map. There is nothing dangerous about this. If someone gets lost they pull up google maps. There is literally no pressure to stay as a group.

What a complete overreaction

This, exactly.

Look, if you don't like even some of them then it's going to be a very difficult weekend and you might do better either not going or going with someone else and staying elsewhere.

You’re not even driving!!! So what are you even talking about?! It’s surely up to the driver. Nothing distracting about following a car.

They have said nothing wrong. But as someone who has driven people in groups I get to decide how we drive there. If my passengers are not happy with that they do not have to come.
Remember the driver is doing you a favour.

Over sensitive.

After to drive in a line then be annoyed when you lose them.

Agree to drive in a line....

Seriously chill or don’t go. Simple.

Well make your own way there then?

Just lighten mood by saying "ok ok, line it is! Anyone up for a wee break in xxx service station?!"

Yikes, the mafia is in town! 😂

We've all told you why!

You don't like your friends responses.

You don't like our responses.

Realise that not everything goes your way, and that sometimes YOU are the problem!!

Oh okay if you're a passenger then you go with what the drivers decide or you get yourself there. You can't speak for whether someone else finds it distracting or helpful so probably should've kept out of it. If you have safety concerns and don't like them, don't go, but their messages aren't disrespectful and they're not unreasonable to have opinions. I think you're reading things into it because you don't like them.

They were not disrespectful. Your friends were expressing different views and also the person driving their car does have the power.
As a passenger you have the right to express your view but if the driver opts to travel in a line then you have three options to you - take the ride, stay home or drive yourself/take the train.

It really is up to the drivers. Fine to give your opinion but worrying about getting lost or being late can also be distracting.

Do you drive? I find it easier following someone.

I think their answers were fine, not disrespectful to anyone. You gave an opinion, they disagree. It is normally those who drive who have the final say in these discussions. If you don't want to go in the car with them, make your own way there.

This isn't about driving in a convoy. It'll split up as soon as you hit traffic lights, and I think everyone knows that. They're just excited and making jokes.

You sound like you're not at ease with banter. The tone of the group is lighthearted but here you are, deadly serious about everything.

Anyone got this song in their head now?

Anyone else waiting for the admission that OP can't drive and can only get there as a passenger with one of their friends?

Respect is not the same thing as agreeing with you - and it’s ok they have a different view and also ok that you might want to drive in a different way on the day, it doesn’t need to be all or nothing

You're being ridiculous.

Life us going to be a rough old slog if you go looking for offence where none is intended. You're going to struggle to find a group of friends that meet your expectations, and they won't be much fun if you do find them. Maybe if you got into researching military history rather than festivals, you might find your people.

Are 9 year olds allowed to drive?